Two am
by splattered.ink99
Summary: When Will and Tessa meet one night at an airport, both waiting for a flight to London, they don't yet know that their fates are entangled. But as Tessa struggles to settle in a new city and Will struggles to sort out his head - and his life, can they stay together or will they tear themselves apart? Appearances from the TID gang, of course, and lots of Wessa fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi people! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a while - I procrastinate so much on stories it's not even funny :( But here I am, back with a story! I've prewritten a lot of chapters so hopefully I'll be updating pretty fast from now on too.**

 **Also, just saying that this story is Wessa themed. I'm a fan of basically every ship in the series, but just to make it an easier story I'm not putting in TessaxJem. Sorry! However I do plan to write a Jessa fic soon so watch this space!**

 **And, yeah. Enjoy! Drop a review if you feel up to it, that would be awesome ;)**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _1: In a Meeting of Strangers_

There is no place as surreal or as exhausting as an airport at 2am.

I decided this while I was curled up in a squishy chair in the waiting bay, with a crick in my neck and the beginnings of a headache.

I was waiting for a plane that I should have been on _hours_ ago. I could have been halfway to London by now, but nope. Still stuck in New York because there was 'bad weather' or something.

So yeah, it's fun.

On one side of me there was an old couple having an argument in another language - French, possibly? On my other side, there was two acne-ridden teenagers passionately making out.

I didn't know which one was worse, honestly.

I fingered my book absently, which had slipped down my lap from when I gave up reading it half an hour ago. The words had been starting to blur, and I'd been stuck on the same page for ten minutes when I finally stopped reading.

I wanted to sleep, but I wasn't not sure I could with hushed french swearwords coming from one side and slurping sounds from the other.

I looked at the row of seats across from me. There was a weathered old man tapping at his computer, a tall woman with smudged makeup who was asleep in her chair, and… woah.

Next to her was a boy who looked about my age. Incidentally, he was probably the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. Rumpled dark hair, a face of pale skin and perfect angles, and eyes that put the word _blue_ to shame.

Eyes that were looking right at me.

I looked away hurriedly, flushing. When I looked back, the guy was still watching me, the corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smirk.

He was used to girls eyeing him, obviously.

With that thought, my embarrassment slid away. I met the boy's stare head on, raising my eyebrows. His smirk only grew. Jerk.

I turned my eyes to his clothes, which were rumpled from the airport but clearly expensive. Interesting. He was a rich eyes narrowed as they took in the boy's legs, sprawled carelessly over two chairs next to him. He followed my gaze, and swung his legs off the seats with a grin. Then he patted the seat next to him.

Oh, dear lord.

He smirked at me, gesturing for me to take the empty seat. My stare turned to a frown.

The arguing French couple started openly shrieking, ignoring the glares of everyone else in the bay. I had to lean back to avoid being hit by the woman's wild gestures.

The boy opposite me was trying not laugh, the jerk. I glared at him, and he cocked his head at the seat next to him again.

On the other side if me, the kissing couple seemed to be pulling at each other's clothes.

I closed my eyes for a moment with a sigh. Oh, hell. Whatever.

Then I got up, grabbed my book and bag, and sat down next to the handsome jerk.

"You looked like you were in a bit of a tight spot there." he said quietly, grinning.

"Thanks for your concern." I answered shortly.

He leaned closer to me, his leg brushing my own. I was pretty sure I was blushing.

"Will Herondale." he held out a hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

I narrowed my eyes at him - was he mocking me? Then I took his hand. "Tessa Gray."

"Tessa." Will Herondale mused. "Short for anything?"

"Uh… Theresa." I mumbled. "My parents were a bit old-fashioned."

He smiled at me. "It's a lovely name - "

"If you finish that sentence with ' _for a lovely girl'_ then I may have to hit you with my book."

He looked surprised for a moment and then laughed. "It would be an honour if you did, Tessa."

My name on Will's lips made my face grow hot again, much to my annoyance. And Will knew it, of course.

"So, Tessa." he said after a moment. "What brings you to this godforsaken place at such an hour?"

"Same as everyone else." I leant back into my chair. "I've got places to be, and I got stuck on the way."

Evidently, I passed some sort of test, because Will broke into a smile. A real smile, not a smirk. "They say happiness is in the journey, not the destination."

"Well, I'm feeling just great hanging round here in the middle of the night." I deadpanned.

Will laughed again. I took in the way his body always seemed to be moving, like he was full of restless energy.

Proving my point, he stood up and held out a hand. "Would you care to accompany me on a coffee trip, Tessa Gray?"

My instincts told me that agreeing was a bad idea. But I stood up, because one, I really could have used some coffee, two, I was desperate to get out of the waiting bay, and three, no one could refuse a boy who looked like Will Herondale. I mean, do you really blame me?

Will's smile left me dazed as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the bay. We left our luggage behind.

Will walked fast and confidently, like he'd been here before. I certainly hadn't. This was my first ever flight - or it would be if we were ever going to board the plane.

"So." Will said conversationally, steering me past tempting bookstands and candy booths, "Tell me about your book."

I looked down in surprise, I hadn't realised I'd brought it with me. "It's, uh, _A Tale of Two Cities_ by - "

"Charles Dickens, yes." Will said quickly.

"You know Charles Dickens?" Will didn't seem the reading type. I couldn't imagine him sitting still long enough to pick up a novel.

"Everyone knows Charles Dickens." Will looked over at me. "We've all done a fair amount of high school essays."

"Oh." He'd only read for school, then.

"So how far into the book are you?" Will asked me.

I laughed, clutching my worn novel to my chest with my free hand. The other was still clutching Will, and if I let go he'd probably speed off and lose me. "Oh, I've already read it. About ten times, actually. Not counting when I read the chapters out of order."

Will stared at me, his expression a cross between bewilderment and amusement.

"What?" I asked defensively.

He grinned. "Now I think about it, I should have guessed you were a book nerd."

I made a face at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing."

I gave Will a half-hearted glare as he steered me over to a pop-up coffee place. He ignored me as he ordered two coffees.

We found a small table while we waited for our drinks. The waitress looked bored as she brought over the coffees - until she saw Will. Then she brightened considerably.

"Anything else I can get you, sir?" she asked him, ignoring me completely.

Will barely looked at her. "No thanks."

The waitress followed his gaze to me, and acknowledged my presence with a frown. "Well," she said, eyeing me, "let me know if you change your mind."

"I will." I told her. She shot me a dirty look - she'd been talking to Will, not me. Then she bustled off.

I rolled my eyes and picked up my coffee. I drank it in careful sips, but Will gulped his down like he hadn't had a drink in days.

"What?" he asked when he saw me staring.

"How do you drink that fast?"

Will leaned forward on his elbows, smirking. "Looking this good burns up a lot of energy, Tessa. It's not as easy as you might think."

"Try not to pass out on the table then, please."

"Ah, so you think I'm hot?" Will asked me.

My coffee suddenly became very interesting to stare at. "If you lowered your ego a few notches, maybe."

Was this… flirting? I've spent all my life with my nose in a book, not talking to boys. I had no idea what Will was thinking when I looked up, his eyes were bright and the side of his mouth was quirked up.

"Are you wearing contacts?" I blurted out without thinking.

Will batted his stupidly blue eyes at me. "Nope, these beauties are a natural phenomenon."

I blinked, and said something profoundly intelligent like "mhmm."

He drummed his fingers on the table, with the same restless energy from before. "You know, they say that your eyes are the window to your soul."

"And…?"

"Well, it says a lot about my soul, doesn't it?" He finished his coffee and smirked over at me.

"Well maybe your soul is actually full of... sadness or something. Because your eyes are blue." I was proud of myself for coming up with that answer, instead of complimenting him.

The change in Will was sudden. His eyes flicked away from me, his grip tightening on his empty glass. "Maybe."

I studied him in surprise. My answer had struck a nerve, somehow. I quickly changed the subject. "That waitress is still looking over at you, you know."

Will looked over his shoulder, seeming to come back to himself. "It has been known to happen." he confided.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, gulping the last of my coffee as I pushed in my chair. Will stood up too, and we began walking back the way we'd came.

The airport was quiet - by airport standards of course. There were still people coming and going, looking as tired as I felt. But it still felt surreal, like a sort of in-between dream you had when you were half asleep.

Will was lost in thought beside me, and I took the opportunity to study him shamelessly from the corner of my eye. His hair was rumpled like he'd been running his hands through it, and his eyes were framed by dark lashes some girls would kill for.

He looked slightly different somehow - younger, maybe, like he'd let down his guard a bit.

"I have decided I don't particularly feel like going back to the waiting bay." Will announced finally.

"I don't want to particularly, either." I replied after a moment, with a strange tingling in my stomach that had nothing to do with coffee.

Will was a step ahead of me, and he turned to walk backwards so he was facing me. I was struck by the graceful way he walked. Will could have been a sports star, or even a movie star, and I wouldn't have been surprised.

"Tell me about yourself, Tessa Gray." Will lingered on the vowels in my name, making my stomach do a kind of flip.

"There's not much to say, really."

He pinned me with his eyes. "I'm sure that's not true. You seem like a very interesting person."

"Uh… thanks?" I thought for a moment about what to say. "I've grown up in New York all my life, but I've read so much about London."

"Modern London?" he inquired, "or London during _A Tale of Two Cities?_ Because I'm afraid to tell you it's changed a lot since, oh, over two hundred years ago."

I glared at him. "Funny. So does that mean you come from London?"

"Well, I'm actually from Wales. I moved to London only when I was about twelve." Then Will smirked. "In fact, in honour of my birthright, I have a welsh dragon tattooed on my - "

"Please don't finish that sentence." I interrupted, warned by his smirk.

He only cocked his head at me. "If you insist. Maybe you'll find out for yourself later."

My mouth dropped open. "Will - "

"Only joking." he said quickly, eyes sparkling. I had to look away before I was dazzled to the point of tripping over.

"So why did you come to New York?" I asked Will after a moment.

"Oh, I wanted an adventure." he said breezily, not meeting my eyes. "I've been away for nearly half a year."

"Wow." I wished I could do that, go travelling anywhere I pleased just for an adventure. But Will was obviously from a rich family, or as I… wasn't.

"Why are you coming to London?" Will asked me.

"My brother Nate got a job there." I explained. "He thought it would be the start of a new life for us, after my - after my aunt died. I had to finish my school year and come to meet him afterwards."

"It's nearly the start of school, though." Will said with a sigh. "Unfortunately."

"Yeah. I decided to stay for the break - to get everything in order, say goodbye, you know."

"Mmm." He looked at me thoughtfully. "Do you want to go?"

I was surprised. I hadn't really given much thought to what _I_ wanted, just what Nate and I needed to do. "I… suppose so."

Will smile was a bit sad. "I hope you decide that soon, Tessa Gray."

We reached the entrance of the waiting bay, and we both stood there looking at it for a few moments. I could hear French shrieking from the old couple, even from where I stood.

Then Will grabbed my hand - sending a jolt up my arm - and pulled me away. "Let's keep going."

We walked in easy silence for a while, eyes averted but fingers entwined.

The further we walked, the quieter the airport became. When it felt like we were the only people for miles, we came to a stop.

"You look like you're about to fall asleep, Tessa Gray." Will said softly.

It was true my eyes were starting to hurt, everything apart from Will was going slightly out of focus. "I think my coffee wasn't strong enough." I mumbled. When did Will move so close to me? I couldn't quite remember.

"Maybe that waitress was responsible." Will said with a half-smile.

"She made my coffee decaf so I'd fall asleep, and she'd get a chance with you." I grinned at him.

"Tessa Gray," he said quietly, his breath tickling my face, "I believe I'm about to make a very bad decision."

I struggled to focus on his words, and not get lost in his eyes. They were darker then most people with blue eyes, I thought. Will's were like the sky just on the edge of twilight.

"It's the perfect time for bad decisions." I said slightly unevenly. "Two am in an airport."

"True." Will admitted. His hand reached up to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt my cheeks bloom in pink.

"I mean," Will said quietly, "I'm keeping awake from nothing but coffee and adrenaline, we're alone in the middle of an airport, and you're very beautiful, Tessa Gray."

"Beautiful?" I had a feeling that I should step backwards, but I didn't want to.

"Beautiful." he confirmed. "You have very stormy eyes, did you know? Like a silvery ocean. That means, as much as you try to hide it, your soul is wilder than it appears."

We were back to the soul conversation. "Like yours?" I asked quietly.

"Just like mine, only you hide it better than me." Will said with a half smile. His fingers moved from my hair to my cheek, and then to the corner of my mouth.

"You didn't strike me as a poetic type, Will Herondale." I told him.

"Ah, but you bring out the poetry in me, Tessa Gray."

"That's a terrible line."

"Yes, but did it work?" he asked me. Vibrant blue was all I could see.

"It may have." my voice was almost a whisper.

And then he kissed me.

We'd both known it would happen - our bodies seemed to exhale into each other like puzzle pieces fitting together.

I had to grab Will's shoulders for balance, as my legs seemed to have temporarily forgotten how they worked. I was still clutching my book in one hand, but Will didn't seem to care that it was digging into him. He steadied me with one arm round my back, the other gently cupping my face. His fingers were hot on my skin.

I tasted coffee and salt and rain, and his warmth spread everywhere, from my mouth to my toes.

The bookworm in me searched wildly for words to describe it, but my thoughts were confused blurs. It was only _this_ moment, and I didn't want it to end.

When we broke apart, Will's eyes were wide and dark. He smiled at me uncertainly, stepping backwards. I felt much colder without him, though my cheeks were flaming.

"I did warn you about my reckless decisions, Tessa Gray." he said quietly.

After a moment, I answered him. "You didn't do a very good job of it then, Will Herondale."

Then the announcement that our plane was boarding chose that very moment to finally come over the speakers - and I was almost disappointed.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, stay tuned for next chapter which shall be coming soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again, I totally forgot to put in a disclaimer last chapter! So, just stating the obvious here:**

 **I do not own any of the characters in this story (much as I want to... *sigh*), they belong to Cassandra Clare. However the plot and random ideas are mine. Coolio.**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _2: Into the New_

 _Tessa_

It was my first time on a plane, and I was slightly terrified when I found my seat.

Will was sitting somewhere further down, but I couldn't see him without turning round and kneeling on my chair like a small child.

So I had to face my fears alone, then.

A man in a crisp suit and tie sat down in the empty seat next to me, with little more than a nod in my direction. I had to turn away as I caught a whiff of powerful deodorant, and I choked down a cough.

The lights were dim and most people were settling in to sleep, or as I was looking round wide-eyed. Finally, the plane started up with a rumble, and we were off.

It was dark outside, but I stared out the window in amazement as the plane left the ground. In fact, I was pushed back into my seat as we shot skywards.

I didn't know whether I was exhilarated or terrified - my knuckles were turning white as I gripped the armrests.

I stared down at the sprawling city of New York until the it was only pinpricks of light from way below. Then I silently said goodbye to my home, and turned my attention to the violet sky and wisps of cloud, floating past like fairy floss.

The plane finally evened out and my racing heart began to slow. I kept my fingers tight on my armrests, even as the seatbelt signs disappeared and people started getting up and moving round.

"Excuse me, sir." came a familiar voice. Will was standing in the aisle, talking to the man next to me. He met my eyes and winked.

"Yes?" my neighbour frowned and took off his headphones. I wrinkled my nose at his deodorant again.

"Well, it's my sister, you see." Will gestured at me. "It's her first time on a plane, and she's feeling quite sick. Aren't you, Tessa?"

When both of them looked over at me, Will raising an eyebrow, I did my best to look pale and shaken. It wasn't very hard, and the man looked convinced.

"Unfortunately, we had to book seperate seats," Will said smoothly, "but I think Tessa needs me to comfort her."

I rolled my eyes at Will when the man wasn't looking, before smiling sweetly. "I think that would be for the best, sir." I put a hand on my stomach and pretended to wince. "Uh, would you mind awfully if…"

The man looked thoroughly alarmed as he leaned away from me. "Are you alright, miss?"

"Ughh…" I mumbled.

"Would you mind changing seats with me, sir?" Will asked, "if it's not too much trouble, of course."

The man shot to his feat, grabbing his bag and giving me a half sympathetic, half disgusted look. "Of course. I would be happy to."

Will politely pointed out where his seat was, and we watched the man practically sprint away down the aisle.

Then Will slid into the seat next to me with a contented sigh, dumping his bag at his feet. "That went well, I must say."

I burst out laughing and had to cover my mouth with my hand to stop people around me glaring. "Did you - did you see his face?"

Will smirked. "He probably didn't want you throwing up all over his suit."

I was still chuckling as I leant back into my seat. "You are probably the most charming and manipulative person I've ever met."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Will ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. His eyelashes cast shadows on his cheekbones, making him look sharper and younger.

"I'm glad you're here, Tessa." he told me without opening his eyes. "Otherwise I would have been stuck next to this old lady that kept trying to tell me about her cats."

I laughed. "Well, did you smell the guy _I_ was sitting next to?"

He pulled a face. "Unfortunately, yes."

"How did you know this was my first flight?" I asked him after a moment.

He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "I didn't. Not until I saw your face and realised that you couldn't be _that_ good of an actor."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically.

"No problem." he cocked his head at me. "You were very convincing, you know. You should consider being my partner in crime."

His words brought colour to my cheeks, but I didn't know why. Was he going to kiss me again, or wasn't it a big deal?

It wouldn't mean anything to _Will,_ of course. I knew that. But somehow, it meant a lot to me.

"Let's watch something." Will said, possibly unnerved by my silence. I cast my eyes down and nodded, letting him open the movie options on my screen and his own.

Will chose some sort of spy movie with lots of blood and special effects. We started our screens at the same time, me still frowning at him for his taste in genres.

Will smiled sweetly at me, slipping on his headphones. After a moment, I did the same.

My adrenaline from the start of the plane trip soon wore off, and soon I was struggling to keep my eyes open. It was in the middle of the night, after all. Nearly everyone was asleep - or at least trying to sleep.

I didn't remember dozing off. When I woke up the movie was still going, so I hadn't been asleep long. My headphones were crooked and I was leaning against Will, my head on his shoulder.

Blushing furiously and stammering, I shot upwards and moved as far away from him as I could get. Will slipped off his headphones, paused the movie and looked at me, amused. "What?"

I rubbed my eyes. "Why didn't you push me off you?"

His eyes glimmered. "I didn't mind."

Angels. I wouldn't have been surprised if my cheeks were glowing in the semi-darkness.

"You talk a bit in your sleep, did you know?" Will grinned.

I was mortified. "What did I say?"

"Nothing much. How much you love me, and all the usual."

It took me a second to realise he was joking. "Oh. Funny."

"And you mentioned Nate a few times, too. Your brother, right?"

"Uh, yeah." I closed my eyes for a moment as I remembered Nate hugging me goodbye months ago. "I miss him."

We looked at each other for a moment, me tired and Will restless.

"You should go back to sleep." he said finally. "You look exhausted."

"Thanks." I muttered. "But the seats are so uncomfortable."

Will leaned forwards, and my heart sped up, but he only lifted up the arm rest between us before holding out an arm. I blinked at him, confused. Will sighed, and then pulled me back against him.

"Relax." he smirked as he felt me tense up.

After a moment, I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on his shoulder. Will put his arms around me, leaning his cheek on the top of my head.

"Night, Will." I murmured.

"Night, Tessa."

And that was how I fell asleep.

* * *

Being on a plane while it's landing was terrifying, as I soon found out.

I'd woken up to the announcement that the plane would soon be descending, and then my ears had popped as we gradually flew downwards.

Will was still asleep, and he did not seem inclined to move his arms from around me. I found that I didn't particularly mind.

I spent the last ten minutes of the flight staring out the window - when I wasn't looking at Will.

The flight had been about seven hours, and London's timezone was different to New York, so it was nearly midday. It felt like mid _night_ to me, and kind of looked like it - I could barely see London through all the grey clouds.

From my tired eyes, glimpses of the city made it look like a sprawl of smudges, worn out by the weather and the world. I hadn't yet fully come round to the idea that this was my new home.

Will woke up only when the plane hit the ground with a jolt. He laughed at my startled expression - I'd gripped the seat again with sudden terror - and I pretended that I hadn't been looking at the shape of his mouth and the curves of his lashes while he slept.

Yes, fine, judge me. But I couldn't hep it.

There was a lot of waiting round before we finally staggered off the plane, hauling our bags.

Will still looked impeccable, but I felt half-dead. My hair was wild and sticking up in random directions, my eyes were red-rimmed from all the times I'd rubbed them, and when I spoke I sounded like a horse with a cold.

We struggled through customs, found our suitcases in a sea of other people, and finally burst out of the airport into the - rain.

Huh. What a nice welcome.

"Are you getting a cab?" Will asked me, "Or is your brother picking you up?"

"Well, Nate said he'd be here…" I scanned the scramble of cars and people, looking for my brother.

Will typed something on his phone, a strange expression on his face. He was smiling slightly, but it was sad.

"My friends are going to pick me up," he said after a moment, looking back up at me. "Do you want me to wait with you?"

"Uh - that's okay." I didn't want him to go… but who was I kidding? I was never going to see Will again anyway.

Will looked at me for a moment, and then shook his head. "It was a rhetorical question, Tessa Gray."

I nudged him in the side with my elbow, trying not to smile. I failed.

"Do you want to maybe call your brother?" Will asked.

"Oh, uh… yeah." I rummaged through my bag for my phone. It was a tacky chunk of technology, and it took a supreme force of will and an unrelenting power of thumb for the stupid thing to turn on.

Nate didn't pick up when I called. I left a message, called back, left a message, called back, left a message, called back. It went to voicemail every time.

I avoided Will's eyes. He was looking at me worriedly, I could tell.

After a minute, I called one last time. Nate answered just as I was about to hang up. "What." he growled.

"Nate? It's Tessa." I was relieved to hear his voice - a voice I knew as well as my own.

"What do you want?"

His words were loud, angry, and… slurred. Something in my chest tightened. "Nate, I'm at the airport. Would you be able to pick me up?"

"And why would I do that? You're perfectly capable of getting a cab."

His sharp tone hurt. "But we agreed you would be here. I don't understand…"

"You don't understand a damn lot, Tessa, like how to _leave me alone!"_

My breath hitched, and I was vaguely aware of Will tugging at my arm. But the rest of the world was a fog.

"What's wrong, Nate?" I whispered.

There was thumping music playing on his side of the phone, and I could hear people talking and yelling and laughing. Nate's voice was far away as he snapped. "Don't bother calling me back."

Then he hung up.

I stood there in the rain, holding my phone numbly and staring at the ground. Where was my brother, and what the hell was he doing?

"Tessa, _Tessa._ Talk to me." Will's hands cupped my face. He looked worried, and that made me feel worse.

"I'm fine." I told him quietly, sliding my phone into my pocket. "I'll just get a taxi."

He opened his mouth, eyes flashing, but was cut off by a car horn. We both looked round to see a fancy-looking black car roll up next to us.

Will's eyes widened. I was just about to ask him if he recognised the car when the passenger seat burst open and a girl jumped out, dashing over to Will with a cry.

I was expecting her to hug him straight away, but I was wrong.

"Nearly six months, you selfish idiot!" she yelled, punching him in the shoulder.

Will gave her a weary smile. "Love you too, Cecy."

She glared at him, and then flung her arms around him in a hug, nearly knocking Will backwards.

I stared in surprise. The girl had to be related to Will - she had the same dark hair, sharp face and big blue eyes. Of course, she was extremely pretty.

"Tessa," Will's voice was muffled, "meet my sister, Cecily."

I was right that they were related then. Cecily rounded on me. "Who are you?" she asked bluntly.

"I'm - I'm Tessa." I stuttered. "I was on the same plane as Will."

Cecily shot her brother a look. "So now you're snogging strangers on a plane, are you?"

My cheeks flamed. "We weren't - he didn't - "

But Will looked completely unfazed, meeting Cecily's stare head-on. "Don't mind her, Tessa." he told me. "Cecily always loves dramatic accusations."

Cecily glared at him. "It looked more like a statement of fact a moment ago, when we were driving up to you."

Someone laughed, and I turned to see another girl getting out of the back of the car. I'd been too busy staring at Cecily to notice her.

The new girl had long chocolatey hair like mine, a lovely face with doe-brown eyes, and… a thin white scar running up the edge of one cheek.

I looked away quickly, and then back. But the girl was smiling at me without any embarrassment. "Hi, I'm Sophie. Cecily's friend."

"Hi." I replied, smiling back.

Sophie looked over at Will and her smile faded. "So you've deemed to come back to London, Will."

"Hey, Sophie." Will flashed her a grin. Her frown seemed half-hearted after that.

I looked over at the car to see someone else climbing out of the back seat, a strikingly beautiful girl with curling golden hair and lips that looked too red to be natural.

"Hi…?" I said.

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Are you Will's new girlfriend?"

"No." Will and I said at the same time. I didn't look at him. "We just met on the plane."

"Ah." her red lips curved into a smirk. "I see." I didn't like the way she looked between me and Will.

"Hi, Jessamine." Will said, coming over.

"Don't you dare hug me." she told him. "I curled my hair this morning and you'll wreck it."

Will held up his hands, smiling bemusedly. "Don't worry, I wasn't planning to. Tessa, this our friend Jessamine."

"I wouldn't say _friend…_ " Jessamine muttered.

"Anyone else I should meet?" I asked, head swirling with new names and faces.

"Just one more." came a voice. I hadn't seen the boy get out of the car, but he shut the door with a snap and smiled at me.

"James!" Will's face broke into a grin.

"William." the boy smiled at him, a moment before Will tackled him into a hug. Cecily, Sophie and Jessamine rolled their eyes.

James was tall and skinny, his angular face contrasting with his easy-going smile. His hair was a bit lighter than Will's, with one blond streak that looked silvery in the light.

When Will broke away I could tell by the way that they looked at each other that they had been friends for a while. James looked cheerful and relieved, and Will's restlessness seemed to have faded away.

James turned his eyes to me. His smile wasn't a smirk like Jessamine's, but genuine. "Tessa, is it? I'm James, Will's friend. Everyone calls me Jem."

"Oh. Hi, Jem." I took his outstretched hand and shook it, feeling slightly dazed.

Will smiled at me over Jem's shoulder. "So, you've just met the family, Tessa."

"Whereabouts are you going?" Sophie asked me.

Nate's words flashed into my mind again. "Uh…"

"She's coming with us." Will said firmly.

"What?" I stared at him.

"You can crash at my place for a while." he told me gently. "While you figure things out."

So Will had figured out my brother had refused to pick me up, then. I bit my lip, surprised and oddly touched by his offer. "But…"

"But what?" Cecily asked.

"They say to never climb into a car with a pile of strangers." I said defensively.

Will tilted his head, eyes pinning mine. "But I'm not a stranger, Tessa."

"Yes, you kind of are." I told him.

But of course, the real reason I was hesitating was Nate. Because the phone in my pocket was weighing me down as I waited for it to ring.

It didn't.

I sighed, and nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

Will smiled at me, Sophie and Jem looked pleased, Jessamine gave Cecily a knowing look and Cecily surveyed me with sharp eyes before nodding.

The rain had gotten worse, and I was badly equiped in my light jacket. In the end, it was probably the cold and the rain that made me climb into the car.

Cecily, Sophie and Jessamine immediately squished in next to me, Cecily practically sitting on Sophie's lap to make room. Will climbed into the the passenger seat and Jem slid in front of the wheel.

And we drove.

I was stuck in London, and there was nothing I could do about it as the airport soon flickered out of sight.

* * *

 **Sorry about the kind of long chapter, hopefully my writing will even out more! Please leave a review, let me know what you thought, and I'll update soon. Ciao!**


	3. Chapter 3

**hey hey hey, back with a new chapter... I'll probably slow down with the chapters soon but I'm currently on a roll ;)**

 **Clacelover246 - haha thank you!**

* * *

 _3: Restless_

 _Tessa_

Will's house was big, modern, and flashy.

It had taken a while to drive there from the airport, and though everyone else had chatted quietly, I had simply looked out the window. This part of London was rainy streets and shiny cars and slick houses. It reminded me of New York.

I think I had fallen asleep for a few minutes, but then Cecily elbowed me and I found that we were parked in a driveway, the Herondale's house looming over us.

The rain had lightened into a drizzly mist, which we skidded through to the front door. Will fumbled with his keys - it was obvious he hadn't been here for a while.

Inside the house, it was more tasteful. Creamy white walls stretched up to the ceiling, adorned with pictures and artworks. The wooden floor was polished and gleaming, hugged by a few well-placed rugs.

Will breathed in slowly. "Home at last." he murmured, looking round.

"Took you long enough." Cecily told him, dragging him up the hallway.

We entered a large kitchen, with gleaming shelves and a delicious smell coming from the oven.

A woman was bending over what looked like a recipe book, her hands dusted with flour. I could tell instantly that she was Will and Cecily's mother. She had the same dark hair braided neatly back, and the same vibrant blue eyes, though hers were perhaps more lined. But she was still incredibly beautiful, fine-boned and elegant, and when she saw us her smile was radiant.

"Will!" Mrs Herondale cried, dashing over to her son.

"Mum." Will had no time to say anything else before his mother crashed her arms around him in a fierce hug. Cecily and Sophie smiled at each other, Jessamine rolled her eyes, and Jem grinned at Will over his mother's shoulder.

I looked away, as Nate's face flashed through my mind. I couldn't remember the last time Nate had hugged me like that.

All of us pretended not to see the tears in Mrs. Herondale's eyes as she straightened up, still gazing at Will. She put a hand under his chin and smiled sadly. "You're so grown up now…"

" _Mum."_ Will backed away.

"Sorry, sorry." she wiped her eyes and smiled around at the rest of us. "You all must be starving! I've just put a cake in the oven, it won't be long."

"It smells amazing, Mrs. Herondale." Sophie said happily.

"Call me Lucie, dear." Mrs. Herondale said easily. Then her eyes fell on me. "Will, who's your friend?"

I flushed, embarrassed. "I'm Tessa. I… was - I was on the same plane as Will."

Will gave me an apologetic sideways smile and spoke up. "Mum, this is Tessa Gray. She's just moving to London and she's staying here for the night."

I went even redder under Mrs. Herondale's piercing gaze. "But only if that's okay with you, Mrs. Herondale… otherwise I can - "

"Don't be ridiculous, Tessa." Cecily chirped. "You're staying here."

Mrs. Herondale seemed to decide that I wasn't some potential threat, and - to my great surprise - wrapped me in a hug. For such a delicate woman, she had a very firm grip. "Of course you are, dear. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

" _Mum."_ Will said again, giving me an embarrassed look over Mrs. Herondale's shoulder.

She drew back, smiling down at me, and pinched one of my cheeks. "You look like you need feeding up, dear. I'll find something in the pantry."

Then she bustled off. I looked after her, bemused and oddly touched. Will sighed, and leaned his head against the wall. "Don't mind my mother, Tessa. She's determined to stuff food into every person who comes within five miles of our house."

"Good food, too." Jem added with a dreamy look.

And so, Mrs. Herondale fussed round, running back and forth from the party and fridge until the kitchen table was groaning with food. With a single gesture she flapped us all into chairs, and sat back with crossed arms and a smile as we all tucked in.

I was ravenous after the long plane flight, needless to say.

"Tell us about New York, Will." Cecily said as she ate.

Will gazed into the distance. "It was… big. And loud. And crazy." His eyes danced. "Everywhere you went, there would be someone to talk to, somewhere to be, something to do."

I smiled slightly. That much was true.

"Sounds like London." Cecily said, her eyes glinting. She was mad at her brother - for leaving, or for staying away for so long, I couldn't tell.

"Not the same at all." Will said. His energy, and the brightness in his eyes seemed to deflate. He looked over at me, then away, then back.

A timer dinged, and Mrs. Herondale sprung up. "That'll be the cake." she said brightly, opening the oven.

The cake looked delicious as she pulled it out, crisp edges with a spongy middle and a delicious smell. But it was chocolate flavoured, which meant that as hungry as I was, I wouldn't go near it. I hate chocolate. Don't judge me.

Sophie helped Will's mother cut up the cake - into _very_ generous slices - which they then distributed around the room.

I tried to politely decline. "I'm okay, thanks. It does look delicious, though."

Everyone in the room stared at me.

"You're refusing _chocolate cake?"_ Cecily was aghast.

"I… don't really like chocolate." I said sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Angels above, woman!" Will exclaimed. "It's _chocolate."_ He said it like that was a reason in itself.

"Oh, leave her alone, William." Mrs. Herondale said, taking my slice of cake and handing it to Jessamine instead.

"I'd like a smaller slice, actually." Jessamine said. "I'm going on a diet so I can wear slimmer dresses. Tight cuts are very in at the moment."

Sophie and Cecily took great care to roll their eyes obviously enough so that Jessamine noticed.

We helped Mrs. Herondale tidy up, and then I followed the others into a massive living room, where they collapsed on the couch.

The couch was stuffed with pillows and rugs, and it was big enough to seat all of us. Perched opposite was a massive flat-screen TV. The room was practically dripping with money - huge art canvases, curled china vases, and polished sleek furniture.

"What should we do?" Sophie asked, grabbing a cushion and leaning against it. "We've got half a day to kill."

The room seemed to have a very comfortable, familiar atmosphere to it. I could see that this scene had played out many times before - the only difference was me. At the back of my mind was a stain of guilt and worry - I shouldn't be here. This wasn't home.

Nate was home, to me. And he wasn't here.

"I'm in a poker sort of mood." Will declared, breaking through my thoughts. "Shall we play?"

"The cards and chips are on the shelf somewhere." Cecily gestured vaguely from where she lay on the couch.

Will hopped up, and returned moments later triumphantly clutching his prize. We formed a sort of lazy circle, half on the couch, half on the floor. I sat awkwardly on the edge of the couch - everyone else sank back into it.

I'd played the game a few times before, with Nate. He was a great bluffer, I could never tell anything from his face. I was pretty bad though, I went slightly pink in the cheeks when I bluffed and Nate could always pick me out.

Playing now was easier. Jessamine always smirked when she was lying, and didn't bother to play half the time. Sophie was determined, but a bit easier to read. Will and Cecily were reckless, putting out all their chips and often losing them. Jem was quiet and patient, racking up more chips than anyone else quite soon.

But I was tired, and soon the chips and cards were blurring. I found myself sinking back into the massive couch, but I didn't remember my eyes slipping shut.

My cards soon slipped from my hands.

* * *

 _Will_

"I'm going all in." I said, pushing all my chips into the centre. Sophie, Cecily, and Jessamine had already folded, it was just me and Jem.

Unfortunately, Jem had the annoying ability of always being able to tell when I was bluffing.

"Me too." he replied without hesitation, pushing all his chips into the middle.

We turned the cards - and Jem flashed a smirk at me as he took all my chips.

I sighed, leaning back against the bottom of the couch from where I sat on the floor. My back brushed Tessa's legs, she had passed out on the couch a while ago.

I tried not to think about the sudden warmth in my back.

Cecily's sharp eyes picked up everything, however. "Tell us about Tessa." she said.

I raised one eyebrow. "There's not much to say. We met on the plane - "

Cecily gave me a look. "No, tell us what _really_ happened."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. We've been secretly dating for three years. We send each other letters drenched in perfume and rose petals."

Cecily was not impressed. "Okay, fine. At least say why you invited her to stay."

I thought of Tessa's face as she listened to her brother, clutching her phone with white fingers. That wasn't my secret to share.

So I only said, "Tessa has some family in London, and they were going to pick her up. I think they got held up somewhere."

"Hmm." Cecily narrowed her eyes at me. Then she looked behind me at Tessa. "I like her." she decided.

"Me too." Sophie agreed.

"She's okay, I guess." Jessamine said, picking at her nails. From Jessamine, this was the actual equivalent of _I like her._

"I like her too." Jem added.

"You don't count." I said. "You like everyone."

"Not true." Jem replied. "I never said I liked _you."_

Sophie laughed. I raised both eyebrows this time. "Don't deny it, James Carstairs. We all know you love me."

Cecily threw a poker chip at me. "Oh shut up, Will."

It all felt so familiar, so normal, that my chest twisted. I had missed this.

And yet.

And yet somehow, this place didn't feel like home. I felt too big for the room, too full of energy to relax.

The day passed slowly and lazily, and one by one Jem, Sophie and Jessamine had to go.

Cecily disappeared to her room soon after. She was mad at me, I knew. I didn't know what to say to her, really.

So I sat in the living room, contemplating life until Tessa woke up.

She looked at me for a moment through half shut eyes and then sat up. "Where is everyone?"

"Jem, Sophie and Jessamine went home. Cecily's sulking in her room." I said.

Tessa's eyes widened slightly as she realised it was just her and me. She had lovely eyes, grey and stormy and endless.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said finally.

"Go ahead." I replied, climbing onto the opposite side of the couch.

"Why did you _really_ go to New York?"

Her question took me by surprise. Had Tessa really seen through me that easily? We looked at each other, her curious and me wary.

"I had to get out of London." I said finally.

She said nothing, but waited patiently with her soft, grey eyes.

"I - " I struggled to find the words that described that year before I left, the kind of dark fog that had fallen over my life. "I felt like - like I was drowning here. I was becoming someone else, and there was nowhere else to go but… sinking down."

I looked away, not wanting to know what she was thinking.

Yes, I was crazy. Possibly broken. Definitely deranged. I didn't want Tessa to know that.

"That's why you're so restless all the time, coming back here." she said finally, softly. It wasn't a question.

I knew she was burning to ask for a reason, but she knew I wouldn't - couldn't - give one.

"Yes." I said simply, looking back at Tessa. Then I stood up, suddenly desperate to get out of the house. "Let's go for a drive."

Wordlessly, she got up too and took my hand.

My car was just how I'd left it, nearly half a year ago. Jem had looked after it while I was gone, and it glinted at me in the darkness of the garage like it was welcoming me back.

I flicked the remote that raised the garage door, and climbed into the driver seat. The familiar smell of leather and gas and adrenaline made me sink back into my seat with a contented sigh.

Tessa rolled her eyes as she slid into the passenger seat. "What is it with boys and cars?"

I was going to answer, but lost my train of thought as I looked at her.

There was something unbearably sexy about Tessa sitting in my car. Maybe it was the way she leaned back into the worn seat, or the way she dangled her arm on the window rest. Maybe it was the way her eyes glinted as she looked over at me. "Where are we going, anyway?"

I snapped my eyes away, and concentrated on pulling the car into motion. It woke up under my fingers with a soft purr. "I have no idea." I said, and we pulled out into the street.

The garage door slid shut behind us, but we were gone before it touched the ground.

The rain had picked up again, which should have made me slow down. Instead, I drove faster.

"I find it hard to believe you have a license." Tessa was gripping her seat.

"Have a little faith." I served dangerously round a corner, my blood singing with the thrill.

Then I looked over at Tessa, and slowed down a bit sheepishly.

"How do you feel about coffee?" I asked her after a minute.

"Fine." Tessa smiled. "I feel fine about coffee."

"Coffee it is, then." I had spotted a coffee shop on the street, one I had been to many times before - often armed with an essay I had to finish and a craving for caffeine.

I parked very carefully, but this did not seem to erase Tessa's opinion on my driving. She was hard to please.

We dashed through the sprinkling rain to the safety of the coffee shop. I wanted to grab Tessa's hand, but I didn't.

The shop was busy, but there was a small table near the window that we managed to squeeze into.

Tessa looked round at the clustered customers. "A multitude of people and yet solitude." she murmured, more to herself than me.

I was amused. "You really love that book, don't you?"

She frowned at me. "So what if I d - hang on, how did you know I was talking about - "

"A Tale of Two Cities?" I asked, smirking. "I know the quotes pretty well, as I have happened to have read that book at least five times."

Tessa's mouth dropped open as she stared at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You told me you just read it for school!" her face was a cross between annoyed and amused.

"Well, technically I'm supposed to end up studying it sometime this year." I replied, grinning.

She broke and smiled back.

And so, over coffee, we talked about books. Tessa had read nearly everything I had, and many books I hadn't. We agreed on most things, but when we had different opinions it was a full-on political fight.

The thing about Tessa was that she would never back down. And I was beginning to wonder if I'd gotten more than I'd bargained for when I first smirked at her in the airport.

I just didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

We left the shop as firm friends. Or at least, I think we did. The problem with me was, I was terrible with friends. Great at making them, terrible at keeping them. Because no matter what I told myself, I would always drag them down with me.

I had no idea what Tessa and I were. _Friends_ didn't seem like quite the right word.

The rain outside had only gotten worse, and as we walked out into the street it began to pelt down like icy needles.

"Freaking London!" Tessa yelled over the roaring of the rain. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Welcome to England, darling!" I yelled back.

"Should we run for it?" she asked.

Everywhere around us, people were pulling out umbrellas, diving for shelter and swearing. We were the only ones standing in the pouring onslaught.

"I like the rain!" I told her. A strange sort of shiver spread over my body, and I felt fully alive for the first time in ages.

Actually, no. Kissing Tessa at the airport had made me feel alive.

"You're crazy!" Tessa yelped. "Just because you look stunning in the rain, while the rest of us look like drowned rats - "

"Did you just call me stunning?" I asked, smirking. I didn't remember taking a step closer to her.

Tessa flushed immediately, but her eyes stayed locked with mine. "Maybe."

We were both completely drenched in rain, and we must have looked crazy standing there. But I was burning up under the cold, and Tessa was all I could see.

She was still blushing as I leaned forward to kiss her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yes, I've updated again! Thank you, thank you, no applause please! Anyway enjoy, and things will start to pick up over the next few chapters. Thanks for the reviews too guys, they were really encouraging :)**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _4: Waking up_

 _Tessa_

It was getting dark - which was to say, the sky was a slightly darker grey than usual - when we finally stumbled back into Will's house.

Cecily was waiting in the hallway, arms folded. "Where'd Will drag you, Tessa?"

"We just went out for coffee." Will said smoothly. "I would have asked you, Cecy, but you were too busy sulking in your room."

"I don't sulk." Cecily announced. "I just glower."

"Very good at it you are, too." Will muttered under her piercing gaze.

We walked into the kitchen, where Mrs. Herondale awaited us. The table was already laden with food.

Dinner... was an awkward affair.

Mrs. Herondale and Cecily had eyes only for Will - Mrs. Herondale was affectionate, but Cecily was glaring. Will, oblivious, was looking at me. I was doing my best just to keep my eyes on my plate.

Cecily led me upstairs after dinner, and I followed with my suitcase and bag.

"This is the spare room." she said cheerfully, throwing open a door. I blinked at the massive, soft bed, the huge wardrobe, and the piles of pillows. The room was big and comfortable, but it felt somehow un-lived in. The walls were bare of pictures, the bed was made up of simple whites and greys, and there were no other possessions to be seen.

"Thank you." I said, heaving my suitcase over to a corner.

Cecily smiled at me kind of sadly, and then cast her eyes to the floor.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Nothing. I just don't really like this room." she stepped back into the hallway, and pointed at a door near mine. "That's my room, just come in if you need anything."

"Thanks," I said, though I had no intention of doing that. I wasn't really sure if Cecily hated me or not.

"Hey." Cecily seemed to have caught my expression. "I'm glad you're here. You seem like a really nice girl."

I was taken aback. "Uh… thanks?"

Cecily leaned against my doorframe, looking at me with eyes so like her brothers. "You seem really good for Will."

I flushed immediately - would I _ever_ be able to control my blushing? - and stuttered, "I'm not - we're not - "

Cecily flapped a hand. "It's bound to happen." she said, smirking at me. "Will's a handsome devil, isn't he?"

I couldn't quite believe I was having this conversation with her. But as I remembered kissing Will in the rain, my flush deepened. "Cecily - "

"It's none of my business, I know," Cecily interrupted, "but I just want to tell you to be careful. Will is…" she hesitated, pushing off the doorframe, "quite different from what you may believe. He's my brother and I love him, but he's also sometimes an angsty idiot who breaks people's hearts."

I wasn't really sure what to say.

Cecily sighed, looking away from me. "But the heart that's the most broken is his own." she said softly. "So please, promise me you'll be careful. For you and for him."

"Cecily, I'm really not - "

"Promise." she ordered.

I sighed. "I promise."

Cecily brightened. "Good. Now, do you want to come watch a movie with me?"

* * *

It was late when I finally collapsed on my temporary bed, but I wasn't tired. I'd slept on the plane, and my mind was swirling.

Worry over Nate, the strangeness of a new city, and a certain boy with eyes like chips of sapphire kept me awake for a long time. But eventually I found myself slipping into a restless sleep.

 _London loomed over me, the city warped and swirled and shaking. Crumbling buildings collapsed like rain. I was chasing someone - just a figure in the distance. They wove between alleys and tunnels and streets until I was dizzy and exhausted, but I couldn't stop running._

 _The figure was Nate. I tried to call his name but I couldn't make a sound. The city was falling, sinking into water, and as Nate turned to finally face me, I saw that he was Will. And as I watched, hopelessly running without ever moving, Will was drowning in the ocean, sinking into the abyss as blue and dark as his eyes._

 _I was swimming, now, and I managed to grab his sinking hand, struggling to pull him to the surface, pull him back to me. Cecily's voice wove it's way through my head - "_ the heart that's the most broken is his own."

 _And as Will's hand tightened round mine, he pulled me down into the darkness with him._

I woke up gasping, my body tangled in the blankets. When I pulled myself up, I found that it was not the dream that had woken me, but my phone. It was vibrating on the bedside table, beeping frantically. _Nate,_ I thought, and reached for it.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Tessie!" It was Nate, and his voice cracked as he said my name. I had never been so glad to hear from him in my life.

"Tessa, I am so, so sorry." he said urgently. His voice sounded horrible, weak and exhausted.

"It's fine." I replied, though it wasn't really. Nate had been drunk many times, and I had always tried to overlook it. But he had never turned on me before, and I couldn't pretend that I hadn't been terrified.

"Are you alright? Where are you?" he spoke fast, words uneven. "I'm home now, but I'll come pick you up straight away."

"Nate, it's fine." I looked at my phone screen. "It's like two o'clock in the morning."

"I'm coming." he said firmly. "Tell me where you are."

"Nate, seriously, just leave me until tomorrow - "

"Tessa, I am coming to get you _right now._ I need to know you're safe."

"I _am_ safe - "

" _Tessa._ "

"Fine." I was suddenly mad at him, though I made sure my voice stayed even. "I'll be out on the street in a minute, and I'll call you back with the address."

Then I hung up, and sat there in silence.

It was two am, surely no one would be up. I didn't want wake them, so I fumbled round in my bag until I found a notebook. Ripping out a page, I quickly scribbled, _My brother picked me up, sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. Thank you so much for letting me stay._

Then, as an afterthought, I added my phone number. Just in case Mrs. Herondale was worried about me.

No other reason at all.

It was rude just to leave, but I knew I didn't belong. I thought of Cecily's face as she had looked between me and Will, and I knew that no matter how careful I was, it wouldn't ever end well.

I was just another girl to Will, just someone he had talked to to pass the time on the plane.

I stood up, dressing quickly, and left my note on my pillow. Then I crept down the stairs, wincing every time my suitcase bumped on the steps.

It was easy to get out of the house. My breath fogged as I stepped out into the dark street, and I shivered as I hurried down the pavement.

After a few tense, dark minutes, I turned onto a main street and managed to figure out where I was. I called Nate back, and waited for him to come pick me up.

It was terrifying, waiting. Every sound was someone about to attack me. Every rustle of the wind was a ghost, sending shivers down my spine.

 _Snap out of it, Tessa,_ I told myself firmly.

Then someone turned onto the street.

I sank back into the shadows, heart thumping. I was _so stupid -_ why had I listened to Nate?

Self-defence tips flashed through my mind. Should I run, or stay where I was, or -

The figure stopped walking. They were far away, too far to see me. I hoped.

But something about the way the figure stood was strangely familiar. I watched as they leaned back their head, their breath coming out in a cloudy wisp above them. They seemed to be looking at the stars.

 _What are they doing -_

A dirty old car screamed round the corner, and my knees nearly crumpled as I recognised the driver. Nate.

He pulled to a stop next to me, and I scrambled in. Nate pulled me into a fierce hug, tight enough that I could barely breathe. I pretended not to notice the faint, stale sent of alcohol that still clung to him.

'Let's go home." he murmured.

"Agreed." I sat back into the passenger seat, breathing out a relieved sigh as Nate lurched the car into motion. As we sped away down the street, I looked back over my shoulder, only once.

The figure was standing in the light of a lamp-pole, and I could have sworn I caught a flash of dark hair, and glittering blue eyes.

Surely it wasn't -

But then Nate turned a corner and the figure was gone.

Soon we had driven away from the fancy houses - into the dirtier, darker part of London. Nate's apartment was in a block, perched on the street like a looming bird. I was too tired to take in much else about my new home. My eyes were slipping half shut as we stumbled up the creaking stairs, and into a cramped room that passed for a kitchen.

It was smaller than Aunt Harriet's house, but had the same uneven floorboards, faded carpets, and cool draft. Maybe it should have felt like home, but after staying in the Herondale's house I felt strangely, guiltily disappointed.

"There's two bedrooms this way." Nate told me, with a small smile. He picked up my suitcase and led me past the kitchen.

My room was small and cold and bare - but it had a window with a view over the city, right up to the stars. I told myself that was enough.

"You okay?" Nate asked, putting my suitcase down. He looked different in the gloom. Older and taller. His hair was a soft gold in the darkness, but his eyes were hidden by slanted shadows.

"Fine." I said, working up a smile. "Just tired."

He came over and hugged me, and for a moment it almost felt like old times.

"You should get some sleep." he said finally. "Night, Tessie."

"Good night, Nate."

I stood there in the darkness even after he left, listening to his footsteps and the rustle of his bedsheets. Then I went to pull the curtains shut, but stopped as I reached the window. I left the curtains open instead, before backing over to my bed and sinking onto it.

It was cold and hard and nothing like home.

* * *

The weekend was a grey cloud of cold mornings, Nate staying in bed, and boredom.

I went shopping for food. I cleaned my room. I fashioned a bookshelf out of a plank of wood and arranged my books on it. I took them off and rearranged them again.

I waited for Will to call me.

Yes, it was pathetic. Much as I tried to busy myself, my phone was like a dead weight in my pocket. Surely Will or Cecily would have sent a text, at least? I supposed I'd left rudely, but it stung. More than I cared to admit.

Whatever. I wasn't lonely. I was great company. It wasn't like I was dying of boredom, or anything.

Boredom, and homesickness. No matter which way I looked at London, it just wasn't New York. New York didn't spit rain like a curse. New York was safe, bright and busy. New York had friends.

Unlike London.

And so, on Monday morning, I was almost glad that it was school. At least I wouldn't be stuck at home all day.

Now that really _did_ sound pathetic.

 _Clockwork High_ was the local school, about ten minutes walk from the apartment. It wasn't raining, for once, but it was cold, and I was shivering in my light uniform.

Maybe I should have been nervous about starting at a new school, but all I felt was gloomy acceptance that I was going to spend most of this year as _the new kid._

The school was reasonably fancy, with tall buildings and exhausting looking staircases. Teachers walked briskly through the yard, students hung in lazy groups. No one looked twice at me.

I waited in the office for at least ten minutes before a mean-looking woman with scarlet lipstick finally looked up from her computer.

"Hi, I'm Tessa Gray. This is my first day." I said, refusing to be daunted.

The woman frowned at me, glanced down at her computer and nodded. "Theresa Gray. Indeed."

"Uh… Tessa's fine." I said quickly.

She ignored this, rummaging in her draws before handing me an envelope. "Your timetable, locker number, and locker key is in there. Class starts in five minutes."

"Thank you." I said without meaning it. The woman nodded briskly before turning back to her computer.

Well. I guess I would have to find my own way to class.

Stepping back out into the yard, I opened my envelope and nearly dropped my locker key. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, I finally asked a nice looking student where my locker was.

"You'll be in that building over there." they said, reading my locker number.

Then I was on my own again. I found my locker, dumped my bag in it, and checked my timetable.

English, and then French. Well, that much I could handle.

I'd gotten my books with my uniform mailed to me in New York before I left, and I looked through my bag for the right textbooks.

Armed with books and stationary, I prepared to tackle my first class - except I had no idea where it was.

Room 323 - that would be upstairs, right? I staggered up and down the stairs at least twice before I gave up and asked another student where my class was.

It turned out I'd been walking straight past it. Go figure.

The bell rang just as I finally hurtled into the classroom, breathing heavily and feeling the beginnings of a headache.

"Tessa!" came a voice.

I swung round, nearly dropping my books, and stared in surprise.

Sitting casually in the back row was Cecily, who had called my name, Sophie, Jessamine, Jem and… Will.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, back again! This chapter is more of a filler chapter, I guess, with some backstories and info too. Kind of angsty, but don't worry things will get moving soon! I promise!**

 **Clacelover246 - thanks so much for all your comments! I'm glad you like it :)**

 **Guest - ahnesobilgafi thank you!**

 **CrimzieLightwood - I agree, Sophie is a great character too! I should write about her more definitely. Thanks for reading!**

 **Also, disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to the fabulous author Cassandra Clare, who is responsible for breaking my heart on many occasions! However, I can at least say that I own this plot, so that's good.**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _5: Something To Say_

 _Tessa_

I blinked.

What were the chances that I would end up in the same class as the exact people that had picked me up from the airport?

Was this fate telling me that I was going to make friends, or fortune laughing in my face? It was too early to tell.

"Fancy seeing you here!" Sophie said.

Cecily patted the seat next to her. "Come sit with us."

Jessamine gave me a bored nod, Jem smiled at me, and Will - Will's expression was utterly blank.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he smiled. A smile that didn't reach his eyes. It was like I was one of Cecily's friends, someone he'd met a few times but forgotten the name of.

 _Get over it,_ I told myself firmly. _You're such a sap._

I walked over to the seat Cecily was gesturing at and collapsed into it with a sigh.

She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by the teacher rapping his hand on the desk. "Alright, folks! Settle down!"

And class begun.

It soon became clear that - though I was pretty good at English - I would have some catching up to do. I hadn't read the required chapters of the textbook, and the essay structure I was used to was quite different in England.

It didn't help that half the class kept glancing looks at me over their shoulders. I hadn't been announced by the teacher - he hadn't noticed me, it seemed. This was fine by me, but I wished people would stop looking at me.

My head felt fuzzy when the bell finally rang, but I'd only done one session. How was I going to make it through the day?

French class was much worse.

I was okay at reading the language, but terrible at speaking it. So of course this meant that the teacher picked on me.

"Ah, Tessa Gray!" she said, my name sounding thick and distorted in her accent. "Welcome to our school! Have you done much French before?" Every sentence she said seemed to end in an exclamation mark.

"Uh, a bit, miss." I said awkwardly. It was the first time I had spoken up in class.

"Pouvez-vous comprendre ce que je dis?" she fired in rapid French.

"Um… oui." I stuttered out.

Someone snickered from the front row. I could feel myself slowly going red.

"Stand up!" the teacher said. I stood up.

She blasted more dialogue at me, and I did my best to answer - going redder and redder.

"Votre accent est épouvantable!" she announced finally. _Your accent is appalling!_

"I'm from New York." I said stupidly. This time half the class snickered.

"Laissez-la tranquille, Madame, elle est nouvelle dans cette école." came a voice. _Leave her alone, Madam, she's new to this school._

I turned to see Will leaning back in his chair, eyes on the teacher. His accent was almost as good as hers.

I blinked. There was a surprised mutter from the class.

Will's eyes flicked to me for a second. He smirked.

The teacher swelled like a frog. "Don't talk back to me, young man!" She glared between him and me. "Miss Gray, I expect a five hundred word french essay introducing yourself by next class! Mr. Herondale, I expect you to keep your head down and your tongue still!"

I was completely red as I sat back down, not looking at Will. I had a feeling that he would have more trouble obeying the teacher's instructions than I would.

* * *

London may have been on the other side of the world for me, but school was still school.

Classes droned on while I tried my best to take notes, teachers were either overly nice to me or hated me, and I was absorbed into the stream of students like I'd been there all along.

Lunch was in a cafeteria a lot like what I was used to. Kids crowded round tables, hot food was dumped onto trays, and chattering filled the hall.

Cecily dragged everyone over to what must have been the usual table, all of us armed with heaping trays of food. Even Jessamine, who had evidently given up on her diet.

Sophie, Cecily, Jessamine, Jem and Will filled me in on everything I needed to know about school; the nice teachers, the mean teachers, the A grade students, the idiot students, the friendship gangs, the relationship dramas, and people to avoid.

"Just stay away from the Lightwoods in general." Will advised me.

"The whatwoods?"

"The Lightwoods. Gideon, Gabriel and Tatiana." Cecily said. "They're all idiots, but dangerous idiots. They can ruin your social status like _that."_ She clicked her fingers to emphasise her point.

"Gideon's not that bad." Sophie said defensively. I noticed a hint of colour blossoming on her cheeks.

Jessamine rolled her eyes. "Just because you're pining after him, Sophie - "

"I am not!" Sophie said fiercely. "I've just… talked to him a few times in class, that's all. He actually seems quite nice."

Cecily snorted. " _One,_ the Lightwoods are never used in the same sentence as the word _nice,_ and _two,_ you are the worst at lying, Sophie."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sophie asked, glaring.

"You're in _love."_ Will grinned at her.

Sophie threw her napkin at him.

Cecily pointed out the Lightwoods to me across the cafeteria. "See those boy waiting in the cafeteria line? One's stocky and blond, that's Gideon, and the other one's lanky, dark, and scowling. That's Gabriel."

The way Cecily said _Gabriel_ made me raise an eyebrow. "You really hate him, huh?"

"Yep." Cecily said without hesitation. She pointed over to a far away table. "See that group of stuck-up looking girls? The one with curled brown hair wearing that tight uniform is Tatiana."

I looked over and squinted at the girl. Even from here, I could see her makeup - her lips were an unnatural pink.

"Ah." I said. Every school had those girls - the popular, image-obsessed, cliche mean ones. It seemed I had just spotted this school's leader.

"Let me guess," I said dryly, "she has styled nails and a footballer boyfriend."

Will looked uncomfortable. "What do you mean by a footballer?"

"Well, it would be soccer over here, wouldn't it?" I said, then I looked over at him. "Wait - are you saying that - "

"Definitely not!" Cecily hurriedly assured me. "If Will ever went out with Tatiana then I would be forced to duck tape him to the school flag pole." She shot Will a nasty look. Will just rolled his eyes.

However, there was something in his expression that made me wonder about what Cecily had said.

* * *

I moaned in relief when the final bell rang, and immediately slumped onto my desk.

"No time for an existential crisis, Tessa," Cecily said cheerfully, "you're coming over to our place."

"What?" I asked, sitting up.

Cecily raised an eyebrow. "You're coming, aren't you?"

"I…" I thought about Nate, how tired he had looked all weekend. I should stay home and look after him - but he wouldn't be back until dark. And besides, I did need help studying… "Okay. I will."

Sophie, who had stood up next to Cecily, beamed at me. "Let's go, then." she said cheerfully.

It turned out Sophie had a car, which Jessamine immediately climbed in. "See you guys there." Sophie called out and sped off.

That left Will, Cecily, Jem and me. Cecily got into Will's car, which left me to awkwardly get into Jem's. I hadn't talked to him much before.

But Jem just smiled at me, twiddling with the car radio until music drifted out of the speakers. "Find a good station, will you, Tessa?"

He pushed the car into drive as I flicked through stations until something classical came on.

"Elliott del Borgo." Jem said immediately. "Sinfonia in… D, I think."

He saw me staring at him and flushed. "What?"

"You're a - "

"Classical music nerd?" Jem asked me. "That what Will calls me."

"Oh." Somehow, Jem seemed exactly like the sort of person who would listen to classical. "Do you… play anything?"

"Violin." he told me, smiling softly. "Since I was… about three, I think."

"Wow." Jem must be really, really good, then. "You have to play for me sometime."

He looked embarrassed again, but smiled at me. "Sure. Do you play?"

"No, I wish." I laughed slightly, thinking of myself playing violin. I'd probably break all the strings. "I waste most of my time reading."

Jem's fingers tapped on the steering wheel. "Just like Will."

"Yeah." I said, watching Jem's expression. His eyes were on the road when he said, "What… do you think of him?"

"Will?" I asked, though I already knew that was what he meant.

Jem nodded and I sighed. "I don't know. He's - nice, and… a fellow bookworm, I guess." I smiled slightly, but Jem didn't. Instead, he looked tired.

"Why are you asking?" I said, a bit self-conscious.

He glanced over at me, then back over to the road. "Will can be…" he sighed. "A hard person to love."

I took in his hands tapping the wheel, the tension in his shoulders, the slant of his mouth. "But you do, anyway."

Jem huffed out a laugh without humour. "Of course I do. We all do. It's… not a choice."

I kept watching him, but he didn't look at me.

"He keeps pushing us away," Jem said finally, softly. "He said he was going to New York just for a month, just to get away for a bit. He wouldn't have come home if Cecily hadn't hounded him."

"I don't get why, though." I said. "Will really… cares about you all."

Jem looked at me. "I know he does, Tessa. That's what… makes it so hard. Will - Will thinks he doesn't deserve us, or deserve to be happy. He thinks he's stuck broken."

"Is he?" I asked quietly.

Jem turned a corner sharply, startling me. "No." he said firmly. "No he isn't, and if he used his damn brain for once he'd know that we just want to help him." Jem deflated, his tone less angry and more hopeless. "Sometimes it's like… he's trying to tear himself apart."

He lapsed into silence, and I had no idea what to say.

"Will… burns brighter than the rest of us." Jem said finally, looking over at me, back at the road, and then at me again. "He feels and thinks more deeply, and as a consequence, he hurts much more easily. It's been… really hard."

"He had loved too much, demanded too much, and he wore it all out." I said quietly. "Ernest Hemingway."

Jem glanced over at me and laughed. "If I'm the classical music nerd - "

"Then I'm the book nerd, I know." I grinned at him, the atmosphere lightening.

Jem chatted easily after that. We had just pulled into the Herondale's street when he said suddenly, "Tessa, I know you won't, but please try not to - not to hurt Will. I'm not sure he could take it."

I blinked, flushing furiously. "Why does everyone keep telling me that? How could _I_ hurt Will?"

Jem pulled the car to a stop and smiled at me sadly. "I think you already know."

* * *

"What should we do?" Cecily asked, leaning against the kitchen bench. We'd all filed into the house and were crowding up the room.

I sighed. "Well, I've got that stupid 500 word French essay - "

"Easy." Sophie said. "I'll help you with it, Tessa. And we should probably knock off the algebra questions as well."

"Bleugh." Jessamine said. "What a waste of time."

" _School_ is a waste of time." Will muttered.

We set up base on the lounge room floor, spreading out textbooks and pencils. Of course, we managed to do a lot more talking than homework, but at least I got my French essay done.

It was only as I noticed the darkening sky through the window hours later that I realised the time.

"I have to go." I stuffed all my books back into my bag and hurriedly jumped to my feet. "Sorry guys."

"Already?" Cecily asked with a sigh. "See you tomorrow then, Tessa."

"I'll drive you home." Jem offered, but Will had already stood up. "It's fine." he told Jem, not looking at me."I will."

Will, who had barely talked to me the whole day, was driving me home? I tried not to openly gape at him, but instead smiled apologetically at the group sprawled over the floor. "See you all at school."

"Can't wait." Cecily said sarcastically, waving.

I followed Will into the kitchen. "Where'd I put my keys?" he muttered, running his hand over the table and checking under the loose piles of papers.

I looked around, but didn't spot them. Instead, I noticed a dusty group of photos grouped on one of the shelves.

 _Curiosity is a sin, Tessa,_ my aunt had told me many times, but I ignored this as I stepped forward.

The front photo showed three children - the eldest couldn't have been more than ten years old. They were obviously the Herondales - dark haired with sculpted faces and starry blue eyes. Will was in the middle with a gap-toothed smile, his arms around the two girls. Cecily I recognised - the youngest, but sharp faced and beautiful even then. And the eldest girl -

"That's Ella." Will said from behind me.

I started in surprise. "Oh. Uh…"

He came up beside me, brushing a hand over the photo frame. "My older sister." he explained.

I opened my mouth, but Will had already turned towards the door. "She's not at home. That's why you slept in her room last night." he said without turning round. "Let's go."

Raising my eyebrows at Will's retreating figure, I followed him out of the house to his car. I'd slept in his _sister's_ room? I thought it had been a guest bedroom.

Will had started the engine before I'd even shut the passenger door, and pulled out of the driveway with practiced ease.

Before, Will had looked out of place in the house - too sharp and restless for the comfortable living room. But now, he seemed to fold into the car like he'd always been there, like he was finally at peace.

Apart from my directions, we didn't talk. Which left me leaning against the car door, looking out the window at the bustling streets and houses of London.

"Ella was killed last year." Will said from nowhere.

I whipped around to find him focusing on the road - his hands tense on the steering wheel was the only sign that he'd spoken.

Horror curled in my gut, horror and a horrible sense of helplessness. I had no idea what to say.

"It was a car accident." Will said before I could open my mouth. His voice was flat. "I - I was in the car with her."

"I - " I stared at him, biting my lip. I remembered what Jem had said, _he keeps pushing us away._ And in that moment I could see a shadow of what Will was hiding - the boy who was frightened and hurting and alone.

"That's part of why I… why I left." Will said, still not looking at me. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, but otherwise he looked completely calm - not restless at all.

Which was how I knew he was raging inside.

"Will, I - I'm so sorry." I said quietly, the words thick and awkward in my mouth.

Will's jaw tightened, a slight humourless smile curving up one side of his mouth. "Don't say that, Tessa. It's not your fault."

I wished he would look at me, show me what he was thinking. "I… don't think there's much I can say." I said haltingly.

Will glanced over at me, finally. "I've found that the world doesn't have much to say, Tessa, and yet everyone's talking anyway."

We drove the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

 **Will update soon, more Wessa in the next chapter I promise :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey whoo I'm back and currently alive! Kinda another filler chapter here but I can promise the next one has more action.**

 **Guest - Thank you! Actually I haven't put in anything else about Will playing soccer, but that would be another cool story idea. So many stories, so little time... :)**

 **ClaceLover246 - Thanks, thanks so much for all your reviews! You totally rock!**

* * *

 _6: A Call in the Dark_

 _Tessa_

My first school days slowly dragged by, the first week turning into the second, turning into the third.

It was familiar, and often dull, but I was glad to have something to do instead of moping around at home.

I was catching up on schoolwork fast, probably thanks to the not-super-productive study sessions at Cecily and Will's after school. Our afternoons were spent at their place, whiling away the time talking and doing the occasional assignment.

I felt like I had stumbled upon the first real friends I'd had in a long time, and I was happy. The group was nice enough to have completely absorbed me into their gang, and I felt like I'd always been there.

Of course, I never stayed until dark, Will drove me home before it. I'd tried to tell him I could walk, but he batted me away with a "don't be ridiculous."

That first time he'd dropped me home, he told me he would call me. He didn't.

But we still talked a lot more, mainly about books, sometimes about New York, but never about Ella.

In fact, as soon as the conversation became even vaguely personal, Will would clam up immediately. It kind of hurt, but I understood. I knew that Will had to sort his life out on his own, and I couldn't help him. No one else could.

So after Will had dropped me home, I tried to put thoughts of him out of my mind.

Nate was another person I tried not to think about, especially as he got home later and later every day. He spent most of his time out, or in bed, and spoke to me distantly like I was someone he only vaguely knew.

I tried to talk to Nate, but he brushed me off with easily. I told myself that he was tired, that work must have been hard for him lately, that he was getting used to living with me again.

And yet sometimes at night I heard voices, footsteps. Slurred whispers and clinking glasses. And no matter what I did, I would wake up nearly every night at 2am in a cold sweat. I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep until I heard Nate's faint snoring, and even then I would take a while.

Because this place still didn't feel like home. London wasn't New York, and this wasn't my room, and I wasn't able to sleep.

And, pathetic as this sounded, as the weeks dragged past, Will still didn't call me.

* * *

 _Will_

Much as I usually hated laying around, you could never find me up on Saturday mornings earlier than ten.

It was just after ten, actually, when I stumbled into the kitchen that morning. Cecily was upstairs in her room, my mother was still in bed, and I was starving.

The doorbell rang just as I shoved toast into the toaster, and I scowled. "Cecily! Doorbell!"

"You get it!" she yelled back.

"Why me? It's one of _your_ friends, probably!"

"William!" yelled my mother from her room. "Stop yelling at your sister!"

I sighed and reluctantly trudged down to the front door. Whoever was out there rung the doorbell again.

"Coming," I grumbled, flicking the lock. I pulled the door open.

Tessa was standing on the front step.

I became suddenly very aware of my faded sleep-shirt, tracksuits and hair that stuck out in every direction. Tessa, on the other hand, looked beautiful. She wore a knitted blue jumper that made her eyes glow vividly. Her hair was half up, half down, brushing her shoulders in curling waves.

"Uh…" she said.

"Hi." I replied.

Tessa's eyes had gone wide at the sight of me, and now she bit her lip. "I was… going out with Cecily and Sophie. We're going shopping with Jessamine, who bullied us into it." She said it like it was a question.

"That sounds… like something I'm happy to miss out on." I said.

Tessa smiled hesitantly. "Yeah."

I realised I was staring and turned back to the house behind me. "Cecily! Tessa's here!"

"William Herondale! What did I tell you about yelling?" yelled my mother.

Tessa stifled a laugh which I pretended not to hear.

"Coming!" Cecily yelled. "One sec, Tessa!"

So that left Tessa and I awkwardly standing there. I opened my mouth. "So…"

"Why haven't you called me?" she asked.

"What?" That wasn't what I expected her to say.

"You said you would call me." she said. A hint of a blush stained the top of her cheeks, but her eyes stayed on mine.

"I - " I wasn't sure what to say. Most girls would never have brought it up, but Tessa didn't bother with social games. She was straightforward and honest, curious and yet certain. It was one of the things I liked about her.

"I haven't had a chance." I said after a moment.

"It's fine." Tessa said quickly, looking down. "Forget it."

But it wasn't fine, and something in my chest tightened at the hurt she was trying not to show.

"Tessa - "

"I'm here!" Cecily announced, sprinting down the hall and skidding to a stop next to me. She gave me a smirk, and I realised she had wanted me to answer the door for her. What that meant, though, I tried not to think about.

Cecily grabbed Tessa's hand. "Let's go get this over with." she said.

"Sure." Tessa agreed.

Now I could see Sophie's car parked in the driveway, and Sophie sitting in the driver's seat mouthing _hurry up._

I could have sworn Tessa looked back at me, just for a moment, as she climbed into the car, but then the doors shut and Sophie backed out of the driveway and sped down the street.

I stayed leaning against the doorframe, looking at the place where Tessa had been.

Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. She didn't know the number of times I'd picked up my phone and put it down again.

 _I want to call, but you know I can't._

 _I can't._

* * *

 _Tessa_

Shopping with Jessamine, Sophie and Cecily was a welcome distraction.

From Nate, from London, and especially from Will.

I felt like an idiot - Nate had always teased me about my big mouth. I must have sounded pathetic talking to Will, complaining that he hadn't called me, stumbling over words.

I squeezed my eyes shut thinking about it - and opened them again a moment later when Jessamine shoved a mountain of clothes in my face. "Try these on, Tessa."

"Seriously?"

She gave me a look. "I picked them out for you. Quite frankly, your outfits at the moment are…"

"Fine?"

"Dull." she decided. "You wear the same t-shirts and jeans over and over, and it's about time you put on some _real_ clothes. Go change."

I sighed, getting sympathetic looks from Sophie and Cecily, and locked myself in one of the change rooms.

Some of the more lacy dresses I chucked in the _nope_ pile immediately, but there was still a heap of clothes I had to try on.

I shrugged on a striped jumper that felt like I was wearing a pillow. Looking in the mirror, I raised an eyebrow. I - _did_ look better. Sharper.

I poked my head out of the changing rooms for Jessamine's verdict. Sophie clapped, Cecily grinned, and Jessamine announced, "We are buying that immediately."

"I…" I blushed as I realised there was no way I was going to be able to pay for all these clothes.

"I'm buying it." Jessamine said quickly. "And you are going to wear it."

She raised her eyebrows at me until I nodded. "Um… thanks."

Then I got shooed back into the changing room to try on the next heap of clothes.

By the time we'd staggered out of that shop, I was carrying a massive bag, full of clothes that Jessamine had bought for me. She didn't seem to care about money at all, swiping her credit card without a second thought.

I managed to drag everyone into a bookshop with me, and Cecily took us all to to the food court for hot chips and coffees, but for most part we trailed from clothes shop to clothes shop until it hurt to walk.

All of us were holding shopping bags, bullied into getting clothes by Jessamine - but Jessamine did have good taste. I was happy with what she'd bought me, even if I did want to collapse right in the middle of the shopping centre.

We went and saw a movie at one of the cheap cinemas afterwards, buying massive tubs of popcorn. Cecily kept making me laugh during all the dramatic scenes, and got told to shut up more than once.

Afterwards, as we each got a final drink, Cecily turned to me and said, "Spill."

"Sorry?"

She rolled her eyes. "You were blushing like an idiot this morning when I saw you, and Will looked like you'd smacked him in the face. What happened?"

I blinked at the three faces smirking at me. "N - Nothing! I was just waiting for you - "

"Oh come on, Tessa." Jessamine said. "We're not idiots. Has Will asked you out yet?"

"Guys, seriously." I was blushing - _again._

Even Sophie was grinning. "If he hasn't, you should ask _him."_

I set down my drink. "For the last time, there is nothing going on between me and Will!"

But even as I glared at them all, I wasn't really sure.

* * *

 _Will_

2:03 am.

I was lying awake - still - staring at the ceiling. My phone was on the beside table, displaying the time with an alien glow.

I was so tired.

Maybe I should call her.

* * *

 _Tessa_

I woke up to voices, to Nate laughing about something downstairs.

My room was dark and my bed was warm, but I was suddenly awake. I could hear footsteps on the floorboards below, loud and uneven.

My phone beeped suddenly, startling me.

What -

A message lit up on my phone, an eerie glow in the darkness. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the light.

 _hey, you awake?_

I sat up, fumbling for my phone. I typed out a reply. _is this Will?_

No answer.

I bit my lip, and typed another message. _this doesn't count as calling me, just so u know_

No answer.

And then my phone rang. I jumped at the loud noise - and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Tessa Gray?" Will sounded like he was whispering in my ear. I sunk back down against my pillow, closing my eyes. "Hi."

"Why are you still awake?" he asked.

"Why are _you?"_ I replied.

I could almost hear him smile. "I don't know." he said quietly.

My voice sounded loud in the soft darkness of my room. "I miss New York." I told him. "I can't sleep."

Well, that sounded pathetic.

"I miss it too." Will said. "New York… feels different from here."

"Yeah." I said quietly. "It does."

It was quiet for a moment, both of us just breathing.

"London's not _so_ bad, sometimes." Will said finally.

"You're just saying that."

He laughed quietly. "No, I'm not."

"Tell me about London then." I looked over at my half shut window. "Is there any other weather apart from cold and wet?"

"Sometimes." he sounded like he was half asleep. "Every so often the sun decides to get off its ass and it's a nice day. And sometimes, if you get up early enough, the sunrises are amazing."

My eyes slipped half shut as he told me about the whispering city skyline, the smears of orange and rose and gold.

"We should get up to see it some time." I murmured.

He was quiet for a moment before replying. "Yeah. Yeah, we should. Then I could take you out to one of the breakfast cafes - seriously, Tessa, their pancakes make life worth living."

I laughed. "You say that about all food. Let me guess, there's chocolate syrup on the pancakes."

"Even you, horrifying hater of chocolate, wouldn't be able to resist." he confirmed.

"What would we do then?" I asked. We both knew it likely wouldn't happen, but I liked imagining it - a day where he was just Will and I was just Tessa and we were finding colour in this city of grey.

"Well…" he thought for a moment, "you'd insist on going to a library or two, wouldn't you?"

"Of course."

"We'll get you a member card and you'll walk out carrying half the books in the library with you." Will had a smile in his voice.

"You underestimate me, Will Herondale. I'd say three quarters of the books, at least." I replied.

"Being a gentleman, of course, I would have to carry them for you." he sighed.

"All around the city."

I was smiling by then, a drowsy sort of happiness coating my thoughts. Will told me more about London, about what we would do when we got the chance.

His voice got softer and softer as he told me about parks and movies and ferris wheels and coffee shops and grand old buildings and rain. He'd lulled me into being half asleep, but I didn't want to drift off. I knew, somehow, that Will wouldn't talk to me like this again.

"Tessa, you there?" he said softly.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "I should… probably go."

"You probably should." he mused. "You should sleep."

"And what will you do?"

I could imagine Will smirking. "You know me. Sleep is for the people with nothing better to do."

"I _have_ nothing better to do." I told him.

"My company means nothing to you?" he drew in a fake-insulted breath. "I'm deeply offended."

I smiled, my eyes slipping completely shut. "Pfft, you don't get offended. Goodnight, Will."

"You'd be surprised. I do have feelings, besides much evidence to the contrary." he told me.

There was a pause, and then he murmured, "And goodnight, Tessa Gray."

Then Will hung up - and I fell asleep not long after.

* * *

 **The sad thing is, I'm not even apologetic for all the fluff I write anymore. Guilty as charged ;););)**

 **Will update soon; next chapter contains a very drunk Will, a very annoyed Tessa, and possibly (no promises tho haha) Wessa!**

 **Anyway thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey I'm back - aaaaand things are heating up! Will update pretty soon hopefully, and... yeah, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 _7: Slurred Words_

 _Will_

I knew it was a bad day when I woke up.

My head felt tight, everything too sharp and real. I'd barely slept the night before, and going to school was the last thing I felt like doing.

Cecily dragged me there, of course. She and Jem talked quietly in the front seats of Jem's car while I sprawled out in the back and closed my eyes.

Ella was imprinted on the back of my eyelids.

I didn't remember anything about school, just a blur of classes and glares from teachers and Tessa's lavender perfume as she sat next to me. I could tell Tessa was very concious I was there by the way her eyes went to everything in the room apart from me.

I tried not to look at her either, it wouldn't have ended well. But I kept thinking about how I'd called her a few nights ago, and how easy it would be to do it again.

How easy, and how selfish.

By the time I got home, my head felt tight enough that I had to take some aspirin. I stayed in my room, sick of London, sick of myself, sick of life. I wanted to forget. About Tessa, London, Ella, everything.

I had enough strength of will to hold out for a few hours, but by the time the sun had set I was going half mad. My bedroom walls were pressing in on me, voices in my head building up to shrieks.

I had to get out. I had to forget.

It was easy to slip out of the house, easy to wind through the dark streets to the already rowdy bar. I knew I'd get in, when the place was this full of wasted uni students I'd slip in unnoticed.

Turned out I didn't have bother to be secretive. The security guy - Nigel - beamed at me when I approached. "Will!" he exclaimed. "Long time - "

"No see." I said. "Yeah."

"No drink, is what you mean." Nigel said. "And I think we can fix that." He waved me inside.

The place was all too familiar - shrieking with rap music and loud voices and clinking glasses. I was jostled by legs and elbows and hips, nearly swept up towards the dance floor. But I had another destination in mind.

I recognised the bartender - a uni student barely older than me.

"Magnus!" I said - or shouted, really, over the noise.

"Will!" Magnus clasped my hand. His hair was spiked up with glitter, his cat-like eyes gleaming in the flashing lights. "How you doing? How was the big apple?"

"Far better than here." I told him.

Magnus frowned at my expression. "You look like you need a drink, my friend."

"Oh, I do." I said, and as he turned away to grab a glass, I added under my breath; "And a lot more than one."

* * *

 _Tessa_

It was dark, and Nate still wasn't home. I'd texted, and called, but he hadn't replied.

Typical.

I was too annoyed to be worried this time, and yet I did my homework in the kitchen instead of my room so I could answer the door when he came. Yet another thing to add to the list of my pathetic-ness.

When the doorbell finally rang, I was glowering as I got to my feet. "About time!" I snapped, flinging open the door.

Will Herondale blinked confusedly back at me.

 _You have got to be kidding._

He was a startling sight - a ghost of the darkness. Leaning against the doorframe, his hands braced for balance, he looked unsteady and out of place. His hair was mussed, his eyes were glinting strangely and there was what looked like a lipstick smudge on his neck.

He was unquestionably, irrevocably drunk.

"Tessa Gray." Will said. His words were slurred - of course. He took a step forward.

"No." I snapped. "You are not coming in."

I made to shut the door but he wedged his foot next to the doorframe. "You don't have to be so _rude."_

"Yes, I do." I told him, pushing the door hard against his foot. "Will, you're drunk."

He grinned. "In - indeed I am. It took a lot of work to get this far, I'll ha'you know, but I made it."

"I'm calling Jem." I threatened.

Will sighed. "Don't, T- Tessa, you know he's seen me like this too many times before."

"Cecily, then."

"Cecily…" he said sadly, "…will kill me."

"Fair enough." I glared at him.

Will managed to shove the door open and stumble through, until he was standing beside me in the kitchen.

"It's quite… _small."_ he remarked, staring round.

"You are _unbelievable."_ I was mad at him, mad at myself for letting him in, and desperately trying not to think about the fact that _Will Herondale was in my kitchen._

I stalked over to grab my phone, intending to call Cecily, but instead I clicked on Jem's number. No matter what Will said, Jem would be far calmer.

At least one of us wouldn't be freaking out, then.

I narrowed my eyes at Will while I waited for Jem to pick up. He stumbled over to the table and grabbed hold of one of the chairs for support.

"Tessa? What's up?" Jem's easy tone calmed me slightly.

"Who're you calling, Tessa Gray?" Will asked, pulling out the chair so he could sit on it.

"Jem, I need your help." I ignored Will. "Are you free?"

"Of course, what's the problem?"

I sighed. "Will is - "

"Stunningly handsome!" Will announced, standing up on his chair to make his declaration.

"Completely wasted." I said. "He's at my place, for some reason, and I - I don't know what to do."

I heard a long-suffering sigh from the other end of the phone. "I'll get Cecily." Jem said after a moment. "We'll - "

He stopped talking when Will fell off the chair and landed ungracefully in a heap with a loud _crash._ "Ughhhh…" Will moaned.

I could almost _hear_ Jem rolling his eyes. "We'll be there as soon as we can." he finished.

"Thanks, Jem." I closed my eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Tessa." Jem said softly. Meanwhile, Will seemed uninterested in getting up from the floor.

"Yeah." I said. "Hey, Jem, my brother's going to be home soon, and - and he'll kill me if he sees Will here. Would you maybe - "

"I'll call when I get here, and you can let us in when your brother's out of the way." Jem said quickly.

"Thanks, Jem."

"Will you be alright… with him?" he asked.

I looked over at Will, who was finally getting to his feet by gripping onto the table leg for dear life. "Yeah. No problem." I said.

"Hang in there, Tessa. We won't be long."

When Jem hung up, I almost missed the flashing text message that had popped up on my screen.

 _Sorry tessie, I'm nearly there - a minute or two away from home. N_

Nate was almost here.

Crap.

"My brother _cannot_ see you." I hissed at Will, frantically spinning round the kitchen looking for places to hide him.

Will had gotten up and was busy looking round, picking up things and dropping them.

"If you break that teapot I'll - I'll let Cecily kill you when she and Jem pick you up." I snapped.

Will put the pot down, only after shaking it next to his ear. "Nothing in here." he said sadly. "I only... only wanted a drink."

"Another drink is the last thing you're going to get." I grabbed his arm and half dragged him out of the kitchen. "I'm taking you to my room."

"Your… room?" Will smirked. "Tha' seems un- _u_ sually forward of you, Tessa - "

"Shut up. Please."

Will stumbled through the apartment next to me. "The - the lovely thing about being drunk," he told me cheerfully, "is that I'm _unable_ to shut up."

"Well you'd better learn, because my brother is going to kill you if he hears you." I hissed, dragging Will into my room.

Another time, I might have been embarrassed about how much smaller it was than Will's, about how it was dusty and cold and nearly empty. But Will barely seemed to notice the room, and he made a beeline straight for my bed.

"Don't - " I began, but broke off with a sigh as Will collapsed onto the covers.

"Jus' leave me here." he mumbled. "I'll sleep it off."

"Will - "

"Your bed… smells like you." he said, rolling over to face me.

I stared at him. "Maybe that's because it's _my_ bed?"

"La - lavender." Will told me seriously, his eyes brighter than I'd ever seen them. "And ink… like the kind from old books…"

Something in my stomach tightened, and - the front door clicked open from downstairs.

"Tessie!" Nate's voice echoed from below. "I'm home!"

Crap. _Crap._

"Hide!" I told Will, grabbing his arm and pulling him up.

"Tessa?" Nate called. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

I had to half-shove Will under my bed, trying not to think about his arm burning under my touch.

"S'not comfortable down here." Will told me wearily. He coughed. "Too dusty."

"Will, you have to stay _absolutely silent._ You understand?"

"Absolutely silent." he repeated, and then groaned.

I glared at him, miming zipping my mouth, and then stood up and threw myself onto my bed, grabbing a book and opening it just as Nate opened the door.

"Tessie?"

"Nate!" I tried to smile up at him, it came out as more of a grimace. "I was just - reading."

"Of course." he rolled his eyes, leaning against the doorframe. Why did Nate suddenly have to be a normal brother _now,_ of all times? He'd been barely talking to me the last few days, but today he wanted to see me. Go figure.

"Hey, Tessa," Nate looked uncomfortable, "I just wanted to say that I'm… sorry I've been - "

He was cut off by a groan from under the bed.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

"What was - " Nate began, eyes narrowing.

I clutched my stomach and tried to imitate Will's groan. "Sorry, that was me - I have… uh, cramps."

"Cramps?" Nate raised an eyebrow, still looking towards the bed.

I stood up quickly, blocking his view. "You know, girl cramps."

He looked thoroughly alarmed by this, and took a step backwards.

"It's that time of month," I said sweetly. "You should probably go, Nate. I don't feel well. I think I'll go to bed early."

Nate backed out of the door. "Alright, I'll leave you alone. You sure you don't want, uh… medicine or something?"

"I'll be alright." I said hurriedly. Nate was almost gone, if I could just close the door -

"If you're sure." he said awkwardly. "Well, then, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nate."

I was just about to shut the door, breathing out a sigh of relief, when Will groaned again. _That idiot._

Nate shoved the door back open. "Tessa, what's under your bed?"

"Nothing!" I squeaked, trying to block him - but he dodged round me and strode closer and closer to Will -

"Nate!" I yelped, grabbing his hand. "Don't - that's… my stuff!"

He turned to look at me - so close to the bed that Will could have grabbed his foot. _Please let that not happen._

"Your stuff?" Nate asked me.

"My _stuff."_ I tugged him away from the bed. "Like, my _cramp_ stuff."

Nate shuddered. "Right. Yeah." He seemed to have forgotten Will's groan.

"Which is totally none of your business." I said, half-shoving him out the door.

Nate rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"I'll throw up on you." I warned him.

Nate threw up his arms. "Fine. I'm leaving."

I shut the door behind him and slid down the back of it, sighing in relief.

"Can I come out now?" Will asked, startling me.

"You did _not_ help." I said, but my anger was half-hearted now.

Will took twice as long as he should've to awkwardly crawl out from under my bed and get to his feet. He leaned against the bedpost. "Your brother is… scary, Tess - Tessa Gray."

"It's just Tessa." I said, staying a careful few feet away from him. "Not Tessa Gray."

Will took a step closer to me. "T - Tessa."

Something in my chest fluttered, much to my annoyance. " _Tessa._ Not T-Tessa."

He gave me a lopsided smile. "Tess."

I threw up my hands. "Yeah, that's fine."

He took another step closer, and I stepped back. "Stay away from me."

"Why?" Will stumbled slightly, having to lean against the wall for balance. "Ugh."

"Because - " I glared at him. "Why do I have to explain myself to you? You're drunk, and I'm mad at you for coming here. What were you thinking?"

Will blinked, like my storm of words was too much for him to process all at once. "I wasn't thinking." he said finally, words slurred. "That's the point."

I noticed that we were actually standing quite close - enough that I could smell the bitter tang of alcohol. Enough that I could get lost in his vast and dark eyes.

Which was why I looked away.

"Tess." Will said, surprisingly gently. My name in his voice made me shiver. He was so close…

"I just wanted to forget - you know?" Will let go of the wall so he was swaying on his feet. "I - I _needed_ to forget."

"Forget what?" I'd meant to sound sharp, but my voice was unsteady.

Will's jaw worked, and he looked away. "Everything," he sighed. "London. New York. E - Ella. Jem and Cecily. You."

"Me?" I blurted.

Will laughed under his breath, grabbing the wall again to keep his balance.

I should have let it go, but then again I've always being known for my curiosity - and nosiness, I suppose. "Why me?" I asked.

Will appeared not to have heard me. "I s-suppose my plan backfired, then." he said. "I was trying to forget you, not - not end up drunk at your house…"

"Will - " I began. He was so close to me now, I was dizzy. My thoughts dried up into a sudden spark of… _something…_

"Don't be mad at me, Tess." Will said softly, unevenly. "I didn't want to hurt you." He reached out a hand as if he was going to brush my cheek - and then dropped it.

"How can I believe that?" I asked, my voice more desperate than angry. He was all I could see.

Will's eyes fluttered half closed, and I could see the shadows under them from this close. "Something you should know about me, Tessa Gray…" he paused, swaying slightly, "I hurt everyone I'm close to. And I don't want that to be - to be you."

"Get over yourself." I snapped - or tried to. It came out as more of a whisper.

"It's _you_ I have to get over, Tess." Will said, the side of his mouth curving up without humour. "And I can't."

I opened my mouth, closed it, considered punching him, considered kissing him.

But in the end it was Will who leaned forward. His eyes had slipped completely shut, and as he leant against me I wasn't sure if I was holding him up or he was holding up me.

And then we were kissing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ugh, you know when real life just has those days that are so ~dull~ that if your favourite book character appeared out of nowhere and said they could whisk you back to their world, you would say yes? Oh, who am I kidding, I would say yes no matter what day it was.**

 **Seriously, Magnus Bane, where are you? *deep sigh***

 **Anyways enough moping. Enjoy the new chapter, sorry it's kinda long. Please drop a review, let me know what you thought, and I'll update soon!**

 **Oh, and be prepared for a tragic backstory in this chapter... (I'm evil, I know)**

* * *

 _8: Apologies_

 _Tessa_

This was definitely not how I had imagined my evening.

 _Will Herondale._ Drunk. In my bedroom. _Kissing me._

The kiss wasn't sweet or soft - it was burning. Will's heat was seeping into me, his mouth desperate on mine. His hands were in my hair, pulling out my ponytail until my hair was out in wild tangles.

I couldn't remember wrapping my arms round his neck, but then again I couldn't really remember anything just then - barely even my own name. Half of me was yelling at myself to push him off me, to shriek, to stomp on his foot. The other half was whispering for me to kiss him harder and never let go.

But I could taste alcohol, and I could feel the way he was half leaning into me, unsteady on his feet. And I could feel my phone buzzing frantically in my pocket.

I managed to use my last shred of willpower to stumble away, gasping, and fumble for my phone. I turned away from Will, my heart hammering erratically in my chest.

"Tess - " he croaked.

"Hey, Tessa, it's me." Jem's voice came from my phone. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus.

"Cecily and I are outside - can we come in?"

"Uh, hang on." I said, still struggling for breath. I couldn't hear Nate, he must be in his room. "I'll come down with Will." I said. "Just stay there."

"Tessa, are you alright?" Jem asked.

"Just fine." I mumbled, and hung up.

Will had folded his arms when I turned back around. "You were talking to _Jem?_ He's here?"

"Who did you think I was calling before?" I asked, my voice quivering. "Oh, that's right, you're drunk. You wouldn't know."

Will winced. "Don't yell. It hurts."

"That wasn't yelling." I was worried if I got too close to Will I would crack and start kissing him again, but I managed to grab his arm and lead him over to my bedroom door without jumping on him.

"Tess - "

"You have to stay completely quiet, okay?" I told him, not meeting his eyes. "I'm serious."

" _Tessa."_

I ignored Will, opening the door and leading him out towards the kitchen. Every footstep made me wince. I could hear faint snoring from behind Nate's bedroom door - which meant he was asleep, thank goodness.

I tiptoed lightly, but Will stumbled with every step and I had to half hold him up.

"Stupid floor's so uneven." he muttered. "Keeps shifting."

"Please shut up."

The kitchen was dark and eerie, Will bumped into the table and cursed loudly. I shushed him. From Nate's room, I heard the creaking of bedsprings.

I fumbled with the lock on the front door in the semi-darkness, Will leaning half against me and mumbling something about my hair. Angels help me. I wanted so badly to kiss him - it was ridiculous.

When I finally got the door open, Jem and Cecily were waiting on the other side. Jem smiled at me, but I could see the weariness in his eyes. Cecily, on the other hand, looked murderous.

"Hey, squad," Will mumbled and promptly passed out.

Jem grabbed him easily, holding him up. Cecily just glared.

"I'm sorry about this." I said quietly, unsure what else to say.

Cecily turned her burning gaze on me. "Did he say anything to you, Tessa, about why he'd decided to _prance off and get wasted?"_ She directed the last part at Will, who was slowly coming round.

"Uh… not really." I mumbled.

"It's alright, Cecily," Jem said quietly, his calming tone fading from an abundance of use. "We'll get him home. He'll be okay."

"That's not the point!" Cecily snapped, and if I didn't know her better I would have said she was almost crying.

"The _point_ is a subject for another day." Jem heaved Will up into a half-standing position.

"Will you be alright?" I asked quietly.

"We will." Jem gave me a sad smile. "Thanks for looking after him, Tessa."

Cecily bit her lip. "Yeah, thank you."

"Tess - " Will managed to say, trying to step towards me. Jem took firm hold of him and pulled him away. "Will, leave it. You've done enough."

But all I could take in was the glints in Will's eyes as he turned his head back to me one last time. Then Jem pulled him away down the stairs into darkness.

Cecily turned as if she was about to go too, but paused.

"Are you alright, Cecy?" I asked, coming to stand beside her.

Her voice was broken. "No."

Something in my chest splintered as I put an arm around her, words drying up on my tongue. Cecily wasn't the type for hugs and affection, but she turned and grabbed me tightly enough it hurt. But I said nothing, just rested my head against hers.

There was, as Will had once told me, nothing to say.

Then Cecily pulled away, gave me a shaky smile, and disappeared into the darkness after Jem and Will.

I stood at the doorway for a long time before slowly and silently back up the stairs. I washed and undressed on autopilot, and then crumpled into bed. It smelt faintly of Will - coffee and rain.

I lay awake for a very long time that night.

* * *

 _Will_

I barely remembered the drive home, only that I wished Tessa was there with me.

 _Tessa…_

Cecily stalked inside as soon as we got home. She was mad at me and I knew I was supposed to feel bad - but I couldn't quite, not when I was so numb.

Jem's face was a mask, but cracks of exhaustion were spilling through as he looked over at me from the driver's seat. "Will - "

"Ugh, don't lecture me." I grumbled. My fingers fumbled over the handle on the car door, but I couldn't figure out how to open it.

"Don't give me that." Jem was mad too, now, and somewhere in the back of my mind I felt a prick of shame.

"Why'd you lock the car doors?" I asked, wrenching on the handle.

"I haven't." Jem rolled his eyes as the door finally shoved open and I nearly fell out of the car.

The cold night air woke me up a bit, enough that I realised how stupid I looked hanging out the door.

I managed to get out of the car by gripping onto the door with both hands. The ground swayed underneath me as my feet hit the concrete, and I closed my eyes as my stomach rolled. "Not a good idea…"

"None of your ideas are ever good." Jem said, getting out of the car too and closing the door gently. That was the thing about Jem, no matter how mad he was he would never slam a door. It might disturb someone else, and Jem wouldn't do that.

But I shoved my door shut hard, so the slam made the whole car shudder.

"Will." Jem was in front of me, grabbing my shoulders.

"Geroff me." I pushed away and nearly fell over.

"Not this time." Jem grabbed my arm instead and started dragging me towards the house.

"You're angry." I noted, observantly.

Jem's jaw tightened. He was such a good friend - I didn't deserve him. "One day," I said seriously, spreading my arms wide, "you're going to make a girl really happy, James."

Jem shot me a look. "This isn't about me, _William,_ it's about you."

"I _am_ the centre of the universe, after all." I acknowledged. "What's wrong?"

Jem stopped walking, and I nearly tripped over his foot. The ground tilted again. Stupid London was so uneven.

"What's _wrong,_ " Jem said, spinning round to face me, "is that I can't believe you, Will."

"I can't even believe myself, sometimes." I muttered.

Jem ignored this. "Will, you're hard on yourself all the time, and as much as Cecily and I try to help you, we know that we can't change that. I - I hate it when you're hurting like this, but you don't seem to realise that you're _not the only one you're hurting_."

"Who - "

Jem's eyes sparked. "Will, for goodness sake, I'm used to it. Your family gets it, and we hurt, but we can keep it together because we know you. But _Tessa - "_

My chest tightened at the name. "What about her?"

"What about her?" Jem glared at me. "Will, she doesn't know you - and you turned up _completely drunk_ at her house! Tessa doesn't deserve you breaking her, okay? She's - she's already going through enough moving from New York. She _doesn't deserve it._ And I don't get how even you could be that selfish."

Jem's face went in and out of focus, his words rattling round in my brain. It was true, what he'd said, disgustingly true.

That's why I'd needed to get drunk. Sometimes, it was the only way I could lie to myself.

"Well?" Jem demanded. "Are you going to defend yourself?"

"I - " I tried to explain to him, tell him about Tessa's voice in my head and her perfume filling my brain and her clear, soft eyes -

"Nope, you're going to pass out instead." I heard Jem mutter as I swayed dangerously. Everything was becoming more and more unfocused.

I didn't remember anything after that.

* * *

 _Tessa_

Will wasn't at school the next day.

I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, and to be honest I was trying not to think about it.

Cecily barely talked to anyone the whole day, her face pale and her eyes burning. Jem was the opposite - polite and distant, like some of the life had been sucked out of him.

We mentioned Will only once, before classes started, when I asked if he was okay.

"Oh, just fine." Cecily muttered.

Jem closed his eyes for a moment. "Alright. He's sleeping it off. I'm sorry, Tessa."

"It's fine." I said quickly.

"No, it's not." Jem told me.

It was a grey, drizzly day, a lot like my mood. School took forever to finish.

I walked home for once, instead of going to Cecily's place. The sky cracked open just before I reached home, and I had to sprint the last half block before stumbling into the kitchen dripping with rain.

I stole one of Nate's jumpers and jammed it on, shivering. _Tea,_ I thought. _Must have tea._

Then the doorbell rang.

Nate couldn't be home this early, could he? Maybe it was Cecily, wanting to talk. Maybe it was Jem.

Maybe -

I shook the thought out of my mind, walking over to the door and pulling it open.

It was Will.

"Seriously?" I choked out, slamming the door. I pretended I hadn't taken in his wild hair and washed-out eyes.

"Tessa?" Will called from the other side of the door.

I pressed my back into the wood, sliding down the doorframe. "Go away."

"Tess, please. I'm sorry."

I squeezed my eyes shut, even as my chest lurched at his voice. "Leave me alone, Will."

" _Tessa._ I just want to apologise."

"Well, I don't want to hear it."

I heard him sigh. "Will you please just open the damn door for a second."

I huffed out a sigh. "You won't leave until I do, will you?"

"No."

I pictured Will leaning against the door when Nate got home and sighed again. " _Fine."_

I jerked the door open again, but only halfway. If I leant half against the ajar doorframe, I could support myself on my unsteady legs.

Will Herondale was a mess. His clothes were rumpled, there were shadows under his eyes, and he must have run his hands through his hair a million times for it to be standing on end that much.

"Tess," he said quietly, his eyes so wide and earnest that I wanted to grab him and fling my arms around him.

What? No I didn't. Of course not. Totally not.

"You'd better have a pretty good grovelling speech memorised." I told Will.

He didn't smile. "I don't. I probably shouldn't have come. But I'm sorry, Tessa. I've been called an idiot before - "

I snorted.

"But last night was high on the idiotic scale." Will continued. "I barged in, nearly got you in trouble with your brother, freaked you out probably and totally ruined your evening."

"Yep. That's about right." I narrowed my eyes at him.

Will sighed, looking down at his feet. "There's no right way to say this, but I really am sorry, Tess."

I sighed, my anger slipping through my fingers like water. That was Will, no one could stay mad at him for long.

I held open the door. "You'd better come inside."

Will looked up from under his lashes and gave me a half smile - small and almost shy. He followed me into the kitchen. I was very aware of my dripping hair, the cramped and dingy room, and Will's soft footsteps behind me.

"I was going to make tea." I said awkwardly. "Do you want some?"

"Sure." Will said. He was looking round the room, not with raised eyebrows but with genuine interest.

I was grateful not to look at him for a moment as I switched on the kettle and got out two chipped mugs. "You'd better sit down." I called over my shoulder. I heard a chair scrape as Will obeyed.

Finally, there was nothing to do but wait for the kettle to boil, and I had to turn round and face him.

He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "Don't bother with another apology. I get it."

"Do you forgive me, though?" he asked, searching my face.

I hesitated. "I'm not sure."

Will deflated slightly. "You don't have to." he said wearily. "I just - maybe it would help if I explained - "

"What the hell you were thinking?"

"Yeah."

The kettle's purring had grown louder, and Will had to raise his voice so I could hear him. He didn't look at me as he spoke. "I've already told you about - about Ella. She was killed just over a year ago."

The flat, dull way he said it made my chest tighten. I pressed my fingers against the cool bench behind me and leant against it.

"We were driving to… the cinemas, I think." Will said. "She'd been so busy with school and everything, and I was glad she'd been able to even come. I'd talked her into watching some - some superhero movie with me, and I was explaining the plot of the previous movies, and - " he stopped, his jaw working.

"You don't have to…" I began.

"I do. I owe you that much." Will said firmly. "I just - that day was a fog, for me. All I remember was that, when we crashed, I was crushed into my seat - I think I broke my ankle or something, I definitely hit my head - and I couldn't see Ella, and I was… trying to call out for her."

I closed my eyes, gripping the edge of the bench tightly. I didn't want hear this - but Will owed me to tell it and I owed him to listen.

"It was like - " Will closed his eyes too, as I opened mine. He searched for the right words. "Like a weight on my chest, like everything was caving in on me. And even when I was better and - and a month had passed, the feeling stayed. It was like I was trapped in London, like I was - I was drowning inside myself." His voice cracked and he fell silent for a moment.

"Will - "

"It's okay." he said gently. It wasn't. "I just need to tell you this. My whole family was grieving, then, but I took it the worst of all. I blamed myself for what happened."

"It wasn't your fault - " I began fiercely, but Will cut me off. "I know. I know that, but it didn't stop a small part of me from… from hating myself. I spent half a year like that." He breathed out a long breath. "I couldn't sleep without nightmares. So I started staying up late, walking round the city at night… drinking, sometimes… I just - I wasn't a good person, then. And I know everyone saw it, everyone could tell I had stopped fighting. I was sinking and I had given up."

I tasted blood, I'd bit my lip hard enough to make a cut. I didn't know what to say - I wished Will would look at me.

"That's why - that's why I went to New York." he said again after a moment. "I can't remember who decided I should go, me or my parents. But I just - I couldn't stay in London, not when everything reminded me of… of that day."

"Why New York?" I managed to get out.

He smiled slightly, but not at me. "I couldn't stay in the country, I'd just be alone with my thoughts. I wanted something busy, and - and bright, but still different from London. I don't know. I was meant to stay there for only a month - a few, at most. But I didn't want to leave. I wouldn't have - if Cecily hadn't called me every day and demanded to know when I was coming home."

Cecily's pale face from today filled up my mind, I wished Will knew how much she loved him.

"So," Will said, talking loud and fast over the kettle, "then I came home again. But I've been - been feeling it again, lately…" he sighed, running his hands through his hair, "it's been about a week since I've slept properly. And last night - I just… I couldn't take it."

The kettle had risen up to a scream, the roaring pounding in my ears. My heart was breaking for Will in a thousand different ways, and I couldn't quite believe that he was offering this story up to me, still raw and bleeding.

And then, finally, Will looked at me. "And I don't remember much, but I do remember you asking me what I was thinking coming here." His eyes were vast pools, and in this light they looked too big for his hollow face. "And, what I couldn't say to you before, Tess, was…" he took another breath, "when I'm with you, the feeling kind of fades away."

I was frozen, still pressed against the bench, staring at him. "What?"

"I can't really explain it," Will said, "but it's like the noise in my head just - the volume goes down when I'm talking to you."

I could feel my cheeks flaming. "I…Why?"

Will smiled slightly. "At first, I thought it was because you were from New York, and you reminded me of the city. But - but that's not really the reason." His eyes didn't leave my face. "It's just - it's how you read the same tragic, soppy books I do, and I can talk to you like we've known each other for years, and it's the way you blush when I compliment you, and the way you always say what you're thinking…" he trailed off, still looking at me.

What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. I was completely pressed against the bench, my legs suddenly too weak to support my weight. I was - I was blushing like a complete idiot, I'm sure.

"You should probably get that." Will said after a moment, and now he was smirking slightly.

"W- what?" I stammered.

He raised one eyebrow. "The kettle?"

I realised that the kettle's roar had faded into a gentle bubbling, and picked it up. The kettle was hot and heavy, and my hands were unsteady as I moved to pour it through the teabags in the mugs. In fact, my hands were shaking badly enough that the kettle jerked and boiling water poured onto the bench - a bit splashing on my free hand.

I cried out without thinking, and Will was by my side in an instant. He grabbed the kettle and put it down. "You okay?"

I was _such_ an idiot. "Fine." I muttered, waving my stinging hand and turning to reach for a tea-towel at the same time as Will picked it up for me.

And that was how I suddenly found myself turning into him, suddenly so close that my heart missed a beat. Yep, I know, I'm such a cliche.

Will's eyes weren't pure blue up close, I realised. They were darker around the edges, indigo almost fading into violet.

"Will…" I said - or whispered, more like.

"Tess - "

I was leaning forwards without thinking and he was bending down to meet me, and -

And then Will was stumbling backwards, his eyes wide. "Sorry, Tessa, I really have to go." he said in a rush, shoving the tea-towel into my hands and backing to the door.

"Will, wait - " My head was spinning, I had no idea what had just happened.

"See you, Tessa," Will yelled and then he practically threw himself out the front door, slamming it behind him.

That left me staring after him like an idiot, still clutching the tea-towel.

Finally, I put it down and picked up the kettle again. I poured out the rest of the tea, just for something to keep my hands busy. My mind was whirring.

Then I sighed, and poured both mugs of tea down the sink.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, sorry this took a while! I unfaithfully uploaded another story for Valentine's day, and temporarily abandoned Tessa and Will. But it's okay, because here's the next chapter - with some interesting developments (wink wink). Sorry for lots of writing, hopefully I can cut down the length of the next few chapters. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **Clacelover246 - Ah thanks! I love all those ships too - expecially Solangelo *sighs happily* also, that's cool that you know Fierrochase, which isn't talked about enough is it?!**

 **elmo333 - haha I know right?**

 **44 - Aw, thank you so much! That means a lot to me, and I'm glad you like it! I'm also glad Tessa is so relatable, because honestly if Will Herondale was talking to me I'd probably just melt into the floor - Tess handles it much better, huh? ;)**

 **Guest - why thank you, I try my best :)**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _9: Something's going to give_

 _Will_

I was lucky I didn't get pulled over for speeding on my way home.

People say that when you're in a car accident you tend to be a much more careful driver forever afterwards, but it had the opposite effect on me.

 _Reckless,_ Cecily always said. _It's like you want to get yourself killed._

Maybe I liked the danger. I didn't know.

I was trying desperately not to think about Tessa, and I flicked on the radio to try and distract myself. Nothing but tragic love songs were playing - something I was definitely not in the mood for.

Jem was in the kitchen when I finally stormed into the house. Sometimes Jem almost seemed to live here, honestly.

"Hey, Will." he said. "I was just about to make something to eat. You hungry?"

"Nope." I pulled out a chair and collapsed into it.

Jem raised an eyebrow. "No? I never thought I'd see the day."

I couldn't be bothered thinking up a witty response, so I just rolled my eyes.

"Where were you, anyway?" Jem asked, rummaging round in the fridge. "You weren't in your room when I got here from school."

I was tempted to lie, but I didn't. "I went to apologise to Tessa."

"Oh?" Jem closed the fridge again, looking over at me.

"Oh." I confirmed.

Jem sighed. "What's wrong?" He abandoned the fridge entirely and drew out a chair opposite mine.

I thought of Tessa leaning forward, whispering my name - "Nothing."

"Ugh. You're in _that_ mood, are you?" Jem asked. "What did Tessa say?"

He studied my face, and then his eyes widened. "Oh. Oh _no._ Will, seriously? I can't believe you."

"What, are you telepathic now?" I grumbled, glaring at him.

Jem's lips twitched, and then he leaned back and laughed. "Will, you idiot!"

I threw a placemat at him. "Oh, shut up."

But Jem was really laughing now, and he had no intention of shutting up. "Will Herondale has _feelings!_ It's a miracle!"

"Not. Funny." I glared at him again. "Besides, I have no idea what you're talking about."

" _Sure_ you don't." Jem grinned at me. "Bet you're not used to being on on the other side."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know," Jem said, "you've had a million girlfriends who all pined after you for ages, but you didn't really care. And now…" He started laughing again. "Tessa Gray's arrived, and you've met your match!"

I stood up with all the dignity I could and increased the volume of my glare. "There's no point having an intellectual conversation with you when you're like this, James."

"Are you going to go cry in your room and listen to love songs?" Jem inquired.

I gave him a rude hand gesture. "No, I'm going to go sulk."

And I would have made it out of the door, too, if Cecily hadn't suddenly come storming in.

"Having _fun?"_ she snapped at us. Jem quickly shut up, looking sheepish.

"Not particularly." I said.

The Herondale family had a knack for glaring. I liked to think I had mastered the task, but even the most courageous men had wilted under the fierce eyes Cecily turned to me. "So that's what you're going to do, _William?_ Pretend nothing's happened?"

I sighed, losing the energy for this argument before it had even properly begun. "What do you want me to say, Cecy?"

She stormed right up so she was in my face. "I think you should know. To be honest, even _sorry_ doesn't cut it anymore."

"Cecily…" Jem said hesitantly. "I don't think this is the right time - "

"Stay out of this, James!" she hissed.

"No, Jem's right." I said. "There's nothing I can say that I haven't said before."

"And that makes it alright?" Cecily snapped. "Look, Will, you're not even trying! You're just doing whatever the hell you want, even if it hurts you, even if it hurts _us,_ because you're _Will Herondale_ and nothing matters!"

"That's not true." I said quietly. "Cecily, you _know_ that's not true."

"Do I?" she yelled.

"I'm sorry, alright?" I said. "I'm sorry for being a screwup and a horrible brother and I'm sorry for Ella. I'm - I'm trying."

"Will - "

But I was already walking towards the door.

"Get back here, William!" Cecily called after me.

I looked back, one hand on the door. Cecily and Jem were standing together, almost identical expressions of pity on their faces. That, more than anything, was what made me throw open the door and walk out of the house.

I had no idea where I was going and I didn't care.

* * *

 _Tessa_

Luckily, Will stayed out of my way for the next few days. I didn't know what I would have said if he had talked to me, anyway. I wondered how long we were going to keep torturing ourselves, spinning through this cycle.

Monday afternoon, I was struggling through a particularly nasty algebra assignment when Jem called me.

"Hey, Jem." I held the phone against my ear with one hand while furiously rubbing out my wrong answer with the other.

"Hey. You doing much?"

I sighed. "Yeah. This stupid maths sheet."

"Ah." Jem sounded empathetic. "It has tortured the best of us."

"Have you finished it?"

"No." he sighed. "I'm only halfway through. How are you, Tessa, anyway? Apart from the algebra, I mean."

It had been a while since anyone asked me that. "Me?" I asked. "I'm amazing. On top of the world. You?"

"Yeah, me too." Jem said. For a moment, we both pretended that was the case.

"Look," Jem said, after a pause, "do you want to come over? We can struggle through this demonic sheet together."

"Come over to _your_ house?" I asked. In all the time I'd known Jem, I'd never been to his house. We'd always just met at Will's.

"Yeah." I heard the amusement in his voice. "I don't live with Will, you know."

"That's not what I meant." I said quickly. "I just haven't been over before."

"I know." Jem said. "I can pick you up, if you want."

"Actually, that would be great." I smiled, though he couldn't see it. "See you soon."

"Ten minutes." Jem said, and hung up.

He was true to his word, picking me up and driving back to his place. It was a nice house, small and homey and welcoming.

Jem's mother fawned over me in the kitchen, delighted to meet me and anxious for me to tell her if I needed _anything, anything at all._ Jem dragged me away before she could give me a full rundown of the contents of the fridge in case I was hungry. "We'll get something later, Mum." he called.

I was grinning as we walked into the living room. "Your mum's so nice."

"You'd better watch out, though." Jem said with a sigh. "She might try and make you eat everything in the house."

I laughed and sat down on the worn but luxurious couch, sighing as I sank into it. Jem sat down too, stealing my algebra homework off me and examining it.

"I'm probably wrong for half the answers." I warned him, swiping his own homework and staring at the rows of his neat writing.

"So am I. We can correct each others." he said, grinning.

We worked for a while, before Jem finally threw his sheet in the air and fell back against the couch with a sigh. "Somehow, I'm not even that triumphant that I'm finished."

"Maths sucks all the emotions out." I said wisely.

"Truer words were never spoken." Jem grinned. Then his expression became more serious. "Tessa, you know Cecily would have asked you over like usual, but - "

"It's fine." I said quickly. "I understand."

Jem ran his hands through his hair. "It's just that Will's barely been home lately and Cecily's really mad, and…"

"We'd just probably make things worse." I said. "Or I would, at least."

Jem shook his head. "That's not true, Tessa. Will's better around you. He's more… like he used to be."

It was funny how everyone's conversations always seemed to lead back towards Will. Like he was the centre point that connected all of us, the planet we were orbiting round.

Jem stood up suddenly, then fell back down with a sigh. "I just _wish_ he would realise that _he's_ the one torturing himself now. He needs to just - "

"Snap out of it?" I asked.

Jem bit his lip. "I know it's not that easy. But he's not even trying anymore. It's like he thinks he's… too far gone."

"He's not." I said.

"Exactly."

"We can't keep holding on to him forever." Jem said finally. "Something's going to give."

And it was those words that were spinning round my head that night as Jem dropped me home, as I had a lonely dinner, as I lay awake in bed.

 _Something's going to give, going to give, going to give._

I couldn't sleep at all, and it wasn't just because Nate - surprise, surprise - wasn't home yet. Finally, after tossing and turning a million times, it hit me.

I was in love with Will Herondale.

Well, maybe not in _love_ yet, but falling fast and hard. I'd tried being his friend, staying away, talking to him, not talking to him - but there was no way out.

I couldn't keep circling round him. But maybe - maybe, I could help him.

Bad ideas always seem better in the darkness of two in the morning. And lovestruck girls have plenty of bad ideas, as I knew from countless books.

Turns out it was a real life fact, too.

So that was how I found myself calling Will. Yes, I know. Laugh at me. I'm kind of pathetic.

He took until practically the last ring to pick up. "I know you're wide awake." I said by way of greeting.

"Well, I'm awake _now."_ he said, but his voice held no hint of sleep.

"You've been awake for hours, haven't you?" I asked.

There was a heavy sigh. "Maybe."

"Well, you'd better stay awake for this, because I have something you need to hear."

"A love declaration?" he asked smoothly. "Really, Tess, two in the morning seems a bit much."

My cheeks heated up. "Don't flatter yourself. I just want you to know that life isn't some tragic Shakespearian drama with a sinking spiral, okay? You're not falling endlessly like Alice in freaking wonderland, you're on solid ground."

There was a silence. "Nice speech." Will said flatly. "Finished?"

"No." I said firmly. "You're blaming yourself for nothing, just so you know. Everyone around you keeps trying to tell you that, and you need to start listening - "

"I'm sorry, okay?" His voice was quiet - probably trying not to wake anyone up - but still strong. "I'm not doing this so I can be the next Tragic Teen, I'm doing this because I hate myself and everything in this stupid city and sometimes - sometimes I can't stand it."

"And why do you hate yourself?" I said angrily. "Your loyalty and friendship and charm and truth and fine, I'll admit it - good looks and stupidly blue eyes? That doesn't sound hateful to me!"

"No, but voices in your head and nightmares and self-pity and a dead sister sounds pretty hateful!" Will snapped.

"You've suffered for Ella long enough!" I snapped right back. "You don't deserve to do this to yourself, and something's going to give pretty soon!"

Will drew in a breath like he was going to say something, and then stopped himself. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad, Tessa. It just… habit can be hard to change."

"But you can, slowly, change it." I insisted stubbornly. "You can start new, start living again."

We were both silent for a moment, our breathing mixing through the phone.

Finally, I said quietly, "I'm sorry for calling you at two in the morning. But just - just think about it, okay?" And then I hung up.

 _Wow, that was real smooth, Tessa. What a success._

But I was right, I knew.

Something _had_ to give.

* * *

 _Will_

School was the least important thing on the planet to me the next morning.

I'd had approximately one hour of sleep last night, and the effect - even on me, champion all-nighter - was that I was completely zoned out.

I suffered through class after class, taking in nothing, thinking about nothing but Tessa's words.

The way she'd put light on me like that last night was uncanny and terrifying. And now - well, now, I just felt pathetic.

 _You're not falling endlessly,_ Tessa had said. Well, it sure felt like it.

"Mr. Herondale!" A voice barked. I jolted back to life to find my english teacher Mr. Lightwood glaring at me with the force of possibly Cecily. Which was to say, it was a pretty strong glare.

" _When_ you've decided to pop in from your no-doubt _fascinating_ daydream," Mr. Lightwood snapped at me, "I'd be _flattered_ if you could answer the question!"

"Romeo and Juliet weren't really in love." I said quickly. "After all, they barely knew each other and - "

" _Mr._ Herondale," Mr. Lightwood barked, while people behind me sniggered, "we finished _Romeo and Juliet_ two _weeks_ ago! We are now studying _A Tale of Two Cities,_ remember?"

 _A Tale of Two Cities_ made me think suddenly, achingly of Tessa. And how wrong it felt that I wasn't beside her.

And something inside of me - something that had been building up for a year now - just… snapped.

"You know what?" I stood up and fixed Mr. Lightwood with a glare of my own. "This is pointless."

The class murmured around me. Mr. Lightwood's nostrils flared. " _Excuse_ me?"

"You are excused," I said, ignoring the snort of laughter from somewhere to my left, "and I said, _this is pointless._ I know everything there is to know about _a Tale of Two Cities,_ but what I know won't stop Sydney Carton from dying, will it? I have nothing to learn and I'm sick of this stupid class and the whole stupid school and - "

" _Be quiet!"_ Mr. Lightwood roared. His face was turning an ugly shade of violet. "That's a _week's_ detentions, Mr. Herondale, and _how dare you_ talk back to me like that, you - "

"I'll tell you how I dare, Mr. Lightwood." I said loudly, pushing in my chair and stalking to the door. "I simply switch off the part of my brain that _cares."_

"Don't you _dare leave - "_ Mr. Lightwood snarled.

"The thing about not caring," I continued as though I hadn't heard him, "is that I'd convinced myself I didn't care - when in fact I did, too much, in fact."

The class was sniggering, but I payed them no attention as I looked cooly at Mr. Lightwood. "So right now, _sir,_ I'm going to go do something else not pointless, something that I actually care about."

He lunged for me, but I was already out the door and sprinting down the corridor.

"Stop right there!" Mr. Herondale roared, his heavy footsteps echoing behind me. But I was faster.

I felt a strange sense of euphoria, of lightness as my feet pounded against the tacky floors. The bell rang a moment later, and the clanging sound was barely cut off before a rush of students burst out into the corridors.

But there was only one person that I wanted to see - and there she was.

It was honestly like a movie - a choir of angels bursting into song as the light streamed in from the windows, everything moving into slow motion.

And out of the noise and blur of yelling and chattering and students and _everyone,_ Tessa was all I could see as I came crashing to a stop.

* * *

 _Tessa_

I hadn't seen Will for most of the day, and I'd been severely regretting calling him last night. What had I been thinking?

But of course, he didn't give me time to get my thoughts straight. No, he had to burst suddenly out of nowhere, panting, eyes wild and triumphant and beautiful.

I froze, my arms wrapped protectively around my schoolbooks, staring at him. "Will - "

" _Tessa."_ he said my name like a prayer and it knocked the breath out of me. "I've been thinking about what you said, and - and what if your life _actually is_ nothing but falling endlessly down some stupid rabbit hole? What if that's the point, everything leading just leading up to when you finally hit the bottom?"

And the way he was looking at me, like he actually believed I knew the entire meaning to life, made it hard to think about anything. "Well…" I gasped out finally. "It still wouldn't be about the crash, it would be about the fall. Life's a journey, not a destination and all that crap. And falling doesn't have to be that bad, you know. You can make the most of it, because it's not _only_ just endlessly downwards. Sometimes, instead of falling, you can fly."

And I was pretty proud of myself for spurting that out - stitched together from a million books I'd read and nights I'd lay awake thinking.

And Will was staring at me, his mouth open with incredulous amazement.

"Sorry." I said quickly, stumbling for something to make me sound less crazy -

"God I love you, Tess." Will said, and then he was kissing me.

In the middle of a hallway streaming with students - and I could hear some teacher yelling Will's name, too. And I'd read so, so many stories like this one, but I'd never realised how much better the real thing was.

My pencil case slipped from its precarious balance on my schoolbooks and hit the floor, and Will put his arms around me, and I was sort of laughing against his mouth and I could barely think, and people were shrieking and I heard applause from very far away, but for a moment there was nothing but _Will, Will, Will -_

And then all too soon a rough hand jerked Will away from me, and Mr. Lightwood was dragging Will away.

The teacher was purple in the face, yelling about detentions and _principal's office_ and _probable suspension_ and _how dare he,_ and all the students had crowded round us, still laughing and clapping and cheering, and I was struggling to keep hold of my books, and Will was grinning at me as he was dragged away, and just before he was pulled round the corner out of sight, he put his hand over his heart like a kind of final salute.

 _Angels above._

* * *

 **hahahaha did you see that coming? Will update soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, how are you people? Hope you're all doing okay. Enjoy new chapter, feat. the Official Asking Out, immature friends, flower trouble, and fluff. I'll update soon for the First Date Pt. II!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _10: A Cliche Date_

 _Tessa_

Will was suspended for a day, not that anyone particularly cared apart from Mrs. Herondale. Cecily told me it was worth it to see how happy he was, and of course that made me blush.

He also had two weeks of detentions, which seemed kind of harsh and also meant Will barely had free time for a while.

But we still talked every chance we got, and our two am calls became regular occurrences. Although, after a while, we called each other earlier and earlier. We were both sleeping better now, too.

In fact, it was a bit before midnight when Will finally asked me out. I was leaning against my bed frame, my homework a forgotten few books near the door and an actual book lying open where it had fallen off my lap. My phone was hot against my ear because it had trouble handling it when I actually used it. Stupid phone.

"So, Tess." Will said. "I was thinking - "

"Oh no."

"Funny." he said. "I was thinking that after all we've been through - "

I snorted.

"Will you let me finish? I've been planning this." he told me.

"Sure, go ahead." I grinned.

"Well," Will said with dignity, "anyway, I think you deserve a proper, cliche date."

"A _cliche_ date?" I asked.

"You know, like a dinner-and-movie thing. Like you've probably read about in a thousand books."

"I usually skim over those scenes." I said. "They're often kind of soppy."

"Trust me," Will said smoothly, "you won't be skimming over anything with _me_ involved."

I blushed, even though we were just talking on the phone. " _Will."_

"What?" I could practically hear him smirking.

"Okay." I said finally. "Sure, I'll go on a cliche date with you."

"Oh my God." Will said. I heard him yell as he held the phone away from himself, "Oh my God Cecily wake up - Tessa agreed to go out with me!"

"Oh, shut up." I said, but I was trying not to laugh and my cheeks were still warm.

"So, tomorrow at seven? I'll pick you up." Will's voice was exactly the tone that told me he knew I was blushing.

So, of course, I temporarily had to remind myself to speak. _A date with Will Herondale._

"Sure." I said finally.

"Although," he said, "we'll probably have to go to my place first. In fact, Sophie will probably pick you up and I'll be kicked out of my own house for ages."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because," Will said grimly, "Cecily, Sophie and Jessamine are not going to let me take you out without helping you get ready."

"Oh _no."_ I thought of Jessamine ordering me to try on her entire wardrobe while Sophie and Cecily shoved me into high heels.

"Exactly." Will said. "I pity you, Tess."

Then we both burst out laughing.

* * *

I'd like to say I wasn't that nervous - I mean, I was over at Will's place all the time and we talked every chance we got - but for some inexplicable reason, I was.

The next day I woke up with an unusual crowd of butterflies in my stomach, and they stayed there right up until lunch, where they were suddenly knocked out by something else.

Something in the form of a girl who strutted over to me as I was about to go join my friends at our table.

I recognised her after a moment. She was in some of my classes, and Cecily had pointed her out to me on my first day - with a warning.

Tatiana Lightwood.

"It's Tessa, right?" Tatiana said. She was shorter and slimmer and probably prettier than me in every way - curling dark locks, wide green eyes framed in eyeliner. Her mouth was a big red bow that always seemed to be pouting slightly - force of habit, I imagined.

"Yeah." I said after a moment. Tatiana had never approached me before, and I had never felt the need to start a conversation with her. "You're Tatiana Lightwood."

She gave me a fake smile. "Done your research, have you? Yes, I'm Tatiana, Will's girlfriend."

I stared at her. " _What?"_

She saw my expression and laughed. "Oh, I mean, I'm not his girlfriend _now,_ exactly, but I was and I will be again."

"And by that you mean…" I prompted, trying to keep the ice out of my tone.

She smiled again - her too red lips curving up like a sneer. "I _mean,_ Tessa, that Will is not _yours._ He's mine and will always be mine. So if you know what's good for you, I would stay away from him."

I stared at her again, unsure if she could actually be serious.

"What is this, a Mean Girls reenactment?" I asked finally, trying not to laugh. "Will is not _yours,_ Tatiana, or mine. He's actually, surprisingly enough, his own person."

I gave her a pout and fluttered my eyelashes. Okay, maybe I was getting a bit carried away. But still.

Tatiana glared at me. "That's enough of your smart mouth." she hissed, and she didn't look so pretty now. "You will leave Will alone, or _you will regret it."_

I pouted again. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. Because Will and I are going on a date tonight."

Her eyes widened, and then she practically bared her teeth at me. "He'd _never_ agree to go out with you!"

"Actually," I said, starting to walk past her to my table, "he asked me."

Her face was one I would treasure as I reached the table and sat down.

"What did Tatiana want from you?" Cecily asked suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing." I said, trying not to smile.

But as the day wore on my triumph slowly faded, until I was left with a slight nagging doubt. If Will and Tatiana actually _had_ gone out once… Surely Will didn't still care about her, he'd barely mentioned her.

 _It's fine._ I told myself repeatedly. _Don't be all paranoid and clingy, you hate that type of thing._

And by the time Sophie picked me up at my house after school, I'd almost managed to put Tatiana out of my mind.

"So," Sophie said with an evil grin as we drove to Will's place. "How do you feel?"

I blushed slightly. "Well I _was_ feeling fine until you made me nervous!"

Sophie laughed. "It'll be great. Just you wait until Cecily, Jessamine and I do you up."

"Why, what's wrong with me looking like my actual self?" I muttered.

Sophie just smiled knowingly. "Oh, you'll look like yourself. Yourself at a supermodel level."

"Oh, angels help me." I sighed.

Cecily and Jessamine burst the door open as soon as we knocked on Cecily's front door.

"Will's been kicked out." Cecily informed me. "We sent him and Jem to go get flowers. It'll take them ages to make up their minds on the right kind, poor helpless things."

"Um - " was all I managed before I was dragged upstairs.

Mrs. Herondale hugged me in the kitchen with bright eyes and a wobbly smile. "I'm so proud," she told me, before Jessamine yanked me away to Cecily's bedroom.

"We have to get you an outfit." she said, eyeing my current jeans and jumper with distaste.

In my defence, the jeans were the nicest pair I owned. But apparently they weren't good enough.

Cecily's bed had been taken over by clothes, much to her annoyance. Jessamine had bought a pile. "Choose a dress, Tessa." she said with a terrifying grin.

"Uh… that white one." I said after a moment, gesturing at a simple dress with no lace.

"Absolutely not!" Jessamine and Sophie said at the same time. Cecily and I shared a look and rolled our eyes.

"What if you spill something on that dress?" Sophie said. "You'll have to go round all night with a huge stain!"

"Fine, fine." I said. "Not that dress. Though I don't know why you bought it if - "

"This one." Jessamine declared, picking up something shimmering and purple. "It says, _I'm fashionable and fun, but not overly slutty. I'll let you kiss me but only once."_

"How… do you get all that from a _dress?"_ I asked.

"Shh." Jessamine waved a dismissive hand at me, studying the dress. "Don't question the master, grasshopper."

She held up the dress to me.

"No." Sophie and Cecily said immediately.

"No." Jessamine agreed, chucking the dress into a corner to stay there in crumpled shame.

"What, am I not _fashionable and fun_ enough?" I asked defensively.

"Not really." Jessamine said unapologetically, already picking up another dress.

I sighed. This was going to take a while.

Finally, after the 'corner of shame' was full of a pile of dresses and I had tried on enough clothes to make my head spin, we settled on a floaty blue dress that reminded me of a morning sky.

Sophie dragged me over to a mirror. "Look," she said proudly.

"I… wow." I said, staring. The dress drew in and then fanned out, making my waist look small and my hips look curvy. It accented everything it was supposed to, making my eyes bluer and my cheeks rosier.

"That will do." Jessamine said, smiling at me in the mirror reflection.

Next, they made me parade round the room in various high heels, tripping over everything - including my own feet.

"Heels are so uncomfortable!" I complained.

"Beauty is pain." Jessamine said, unsympathetic.

Finally, Cecily convinced her to let me wear flat shoes - thank the angels.

Sophie attacked my hair with a brush, braiding and twirling it with her mouth full of pins. Jessamine touched up my face with various terrifying makeup utensils while Cecily ranted about social media body images and feminism in the background.

Then Cecily and I wiped off half my makeup while Jessamine sulked. I left on a bit of eyeliner and the powder - after all, it would hide my blushes a bit - and finally agreed to let Jessamine colour my lips slightly.

Sophie had twirled my hair half up, half down, braiding it over the top like a crown.

"Wow." I said finally. "Guys, I feel like a movie star. Isn't this… a bit much?"

"Of course not," Jessamine said at the same time that Cecily muttered, "definitely."

Sophie smiled at me, pulling me in for a hug. "You look amazing. Will is going to completely flip out."

"Don't wrinkle her dress!" Jessamine warned Sophie, pulling her away from me. Then Jessamine sighed and hugged me anyway - a rare show of affection that left me staring.

And then Cecily hugged me too, smirking at me. "You'll be amazing, Tessa."

"It's just a date, guys." I said.

"No such thing." Jessamine said. "You've got to give this everything you have. Remember, be cool, don't be too desperate or forward, don't show teeth, smile instead of laugh - "

"Don't scare her!" Sophie said, taking in my terrified expression.

"It's fine." Cecily told me. "It's just dinner and a movie with my idiot brother."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "I can do this."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Sophie yelped, Jessamine started tugging me down the stairs so fast that I nearly tripped, Cecily was running past me with a shout, Mrs. Herondale was trying not to cry while telling me that I looked beautiful, and we were all dashing to the front door.

"I don't see why I have to _ring the doorbell."_ Will's voice was muffled from the other side of the door. "It's my own house!"

"It's a date, Will." came Jem's exasperated answer.

"Yeah, Will!" Cecily yelled, reaching the door. "You'd better have flowers or I'm not letting you in!"

"What am I doing?" I whispered, freezing up as I reached the door.

"We have flowers!" Jem yelled from the other side.

"It's going to fine, Tessa." Sophie said quickly.

"You look great." Jessamine said. "Thanks to me, of course."

"Are you ready?" Cecily asked me, hand on the door.

I let out a breath. "Okay… yes, I'm ready. Oh, angels." I was sort of laughing, sort of trying to remember how to breathe. Sophie hugged me quickly, beaming.

Cecily gave me an evil grin and swung the door open.

* * *

 _Will_

Shopping for flowers had quickly turned out to be just as hard as Cecily had said it would be.

"What about these little blue ones?" Jem asked, trying to be helpful. "Tessa likes blue. They're… uh… small."

"Jem," I sighed, "that is not the way to charm ladies. Besides, I said this was going to be a _cliche_ date. I need big, red roses."

I walked over to a pot of them, brushing the dark petals with my fingers.

"Oh _no,"_ Jem said, coming up behind me, "they're so… tasteless."

"Cliche." I corrected. "It's like an inside joke for intellectuals."

"Do you even know what's coming out of your mouth half the time?" Jem asked. "Oh, look at those yellow roses. They're roses, and yellow's a pretty colour."

I quickly searched up yellow roses on my phone. "No no no. Yellow roses mean _friendship._ I can't give those to Tessa!"

"She won't know what they mean!" Jem argued.

"Yeah, but _I_ will!" I looked round at the bursting shop, full of rainbow petals, and sighed. "What's the flower that means _catastrophic love?"_

Jem snorted. "What's the flower that means _hopeless idiocy?"_

"Why?" I asked with a smirk. "Do you want to buy it?"

Jem rolled his eyes and elbowed me, and I nearly tripped into a bouquet of syrupy yellow daffodils.

"Excuse me, boys." came a voice. One of the shop assistants had come over with her hands on her hips. "Please don't wreck our shop."

"Sorry," we both said sheepishly.

She sighed. "What are you two looking for, anyway? Maybe I can help before you crush half the flowers."

Jem smirked, pointing at me. "He's going on a date."

The assistant's face transformed into a knowing smile. "Ah." she smirked as well. "May I recommend the red roses? They're a classic - they'll make every girl's heart throb."

Jem rolled his eyes and I grinned at him. "I'll by a bunch of those, then. Thanks."

And so a bouquet of scarlet flowers joined Jem and I as we drove back to my place. I was trying not to freak out - I mean honestly, it was just a date.

"I can't believe you're actually _nervous."_ Jem smirked.

"I'm not!" I said, jerking the steering wheel violently as we rounded a corner.

"Oh, sure." Jem replied. "I bet all the girls have completely dressed Tessa up and they're probably all going to be at the front door laughing at you."

"Thanks." I muttered. "That helps."

Seriously - I was Will Herondale, I'd been on more dates than I could remember, I was never at a loss for words. Why was Tessa suddenly spinning me off balance?

It turned out Jem was right, as I parked the car and we rung the doorbell. I was clutching the roses like a lifeline, Jem was trying not to sneeze from the scent.

I heard running feet and a shriek from somewhere inside - which made my stomach flip. I started grumbling about having to ring the doorbell so I had something to say, and Jem just rolled his eyes.

Cecily's voice yelled something about flowers and I clutched the roses even tighter. There was a flurry of whispers and just as I was about to ask if they were going to ever open the door or just leave me in this torture all night, Cecily _finally_ opened the door.

Oh, angels help me.

Cecily, Sophie and Jessamine were all wearing identical smirks, trying not to laugh at me while I tried to remember my dignity. I didn't have to look sideways to know Jem was trying not to laugh as well. "You look great, Tessa," he said.

She did. She was wearing a blue dress - Jem had been right about the blue, then - and I had to force myself not to stare at the way it curved round her hips and floated out just above her knees. Her lips were almost as red as the roses, and she was sort of looking at me and ever so slightly smiling, and her eyes were big and shy and entrancing and I was totally screwed.

"You look amazing." I said finally, and thank whatever deities and angels that watched over me who kept my voice steady.

She did smile then, and it was like looking straight at the sun. If I stared too long, it would hurt. So instead I held out the roses and said, "Cecily wouldn't tell me the colour theme, but these should go anyway."

Cecily snorted and Sophie was raising her eyebrows at me, and Jessamine just rolled her eyes. But Tessa grinned and took the roses. "They're lovely, thank you." she said. "Very cliche."

And I probably would have just kept standing there trying to remember how to think if Cecily hadn't started pushing Tessa out the door. "You two have got to go on a date, remember?"

And the girls all hung out of the door, laughing as I offered Tessa my hand and we walked back to my car. Jem gave Tessa a hug and me a thumbs up, and Sophie blew kisses, and they all waved like mad as Tessa got in the car and I manoeuvred us out of the driveway.

And then we were alone, driving down the quiet street. "They're probably all holding each other up laughing." I said, looking over at Tessa.

She grinned. "And they'll never let us hear the end of it."


	11. Chapter 11

**ok, The Date Pt. II is finally posted! Also, leading up to something big next few chapters... so watch this space!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _11: Invitations_

 _Tessa_

I was _so_ done for.

You may as well have pasted cartoon hearts over my eyes, because if Will hadn't noticed the way I'd stared at him when he gave me the roses then he was probably blind.

But he chatted easily to me as he drove us through the dim evening, about how detentions were the most boring thing on the planet and how _A Tale of Two Cities_ was a classic nothing could touch and how he was thinking of one day getting a Charles Dickens quote tattoo.

And then suddenly we were at the cinemas. The air was cold outside, and Will put his arm around me until we reached the invitingly warm building.

The smell of popcorn wafted through the air and Will gave a blissful sigh. "We need some of that."

We ended up getting enough popcorn to feed probably a whole family, though Will assured me he would eat most of it.

We bought tickets to some action movie - I wasn't paying much attention, I don't think I could summarise the plot. In fact, I probably thought about Will a lot more than the actual movie.

He kept making me laugh through all the dramatic and anguished scenes, so that the people around us kept shooting me dirty looks. And of course, when the inevitable hero-gets-the-girl kissing scene happened near the end of the movie, I was very, very aware of Will's presence beside me.

I looked over at him, and he was already smiling at me, his eyes still bright in the dimness of the room.

"This is extremely cliche." I whispered, and then we were kissing. Will shoved the armrest up out of the way and wrapped his arms around me.

Of course, everyone around us was probably muttering and rolling their eyes, but we didn't care, and we stayed leaning against each other long after the kissing ended on the screen.

When the movie ended, Will led me out of the cinema and we hurried through the wind back to the warmth of his car.

"There's a little restaurant not far from here." Will said, smiling over at me as he started the engine.

It was a nice place, the type of restaurant with checkered tablecloths and flowers on every table and a menu written in a cursive font. The waitress winked at me as Will asked for a table for two.

We sat down, looking at the drink menu. "Champagne would really fit the theme, wouldn't it?" Will asked.

"Will!"

"Joking, joking." he said hastily.

We ordered drinks, and as the waitress walked away I was left wondering how I'd managed to get here. Will was so distractingly beautiful that it hurt, and the way he was looking at me…

"Tatiana said she was your girlfriend." I blurted suddenly, because I'm charming and conversational and totally experienced with date etiquette. Not.

Will looked taken aback. "Tess, she's not - "

"I know, I know." I said quickly, already blushing. "She told me afterwards that she used to be your girlfriend, and that she will be again, and I…"

Will sighed, and looked me straight in the eyes. "We went out for about two weeks when I was fourteen. It was horrible, I promise you." He reached over the table like he was going to put his hand on mine, but thought better of it. "Tessa, I honestly can't stand her, please believe me. But Tatiana's got it into her head that we're soulmates or something. She's been like that for ages, but I'm never going to try going out with her again. I promise."

I nodded, feeling relieved and stupid. "I didn't mean to accuse you, Will. Besides, I know you wouldn't go out with her. Cecily would kill you, for one thing."

Will shuddered at the idea. "I once found Tatiana's notebook," he told me with a grimace, "and she'd written _Tatiana Herondale_ all over it."

"Okay… that's really creepy."

He nodded earnestly. "I know."

I sighed, looking down at my plate. "I'm sorry for blurting that out at you. It's just… I'm new to this whole thing…" I gestured vaguely around us.

"Thing?" Will asked, kind of smirking.

"You know." I flushed. "Girl and boy thing."

This time, Will did put his hand on mine. I could never prepare myself for the rush of heat that jolted through me every time he did that. "Well, that's all the more reason for me to be a great boyfriend."

I raised my eyebrows.

Will grinned. "I mean, I know you can't compare me to much previous experience, but I really am above average."

I rolled my eyes, trying my best not to laugh. "Of course you'd say that."

"What do you mean?" He tried to look offended. "I'm a very honest person."

And I couldn't help laughing.

The waitress came back with our dinner, and she smirked at me with a supposedly-subtle thumbs up that I was surprised Will didn't notice. We talked as we ate and my ribs ached from laughing so much and it was probably one of the best nights I could remember.

Will drove me home afterwards, and our banter faded into an easy silence as we watched the stars glimmering out through thin wisps of cloud through the window. It wasn't even raining, for once.

When we pulled up outside my apartment, I didn't want to get out of the car. The short walk to the door looked so lonely in the darkness.

Will got out of the car and opened my door for me. I picked up my roses and got out into the cold night. "You don't actually have to walk me to the door, you know."

"I'm hardly going to drive away while you get mugged or attacked." Will said, as we we walked up the short stairs.

"Attacked just outside my home?"

He grinned. "You never know. Better to be careful."

I snorted, pulling out my house keys. "Your chivalry astounds me."

"It's one of my many fine traits."

I fumbled with the keys, and the door swung open. I was going to step inside, but I turned to face Will - to say goodbye or thank you or something - but I'd turned right into him and words dried up in my mouth.

And then I kissed him, careful not to crush my roses between us. Will cupped my face in his hands and his heat seeped into me like fire.

He broke away, and his eyes were big in the darkness and he was sort of smiling. "Goodnight, Tessa Gray."

"Goodnight, Will." I said quietly, and I stepped inside.

"You should probably pull the door shut, you know." he said softly after a moment.

"Oh. Right." I half whispered, pulling on the door until it was nearly shut - so Will was just a sliver in the dimness of my vision.

He was smiling. And I smiled back as I said, "thank you for tonight."

"Anytime." he said softly.

And I forced myself to shut the door. I leaned against it as I heard his retreating footsteps, and the sound of his car starting up and driving away.

I'd only just found a nice vase for my roses and carried them up to my room when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and smiled. "Hi, Sophie." I said, pressing the phone against my ear as I placed the vase next to my bed.

"Tessa! How was it?"

"It was great." I said, grinning broadly as I fell backwards onto my bed.

"Is that Tessa?" a voice yelled from the background. "Put her on speaker!"

"Hey, Jessamine." I said. "No, my dress didn't get crinkled. You guys were amazing, thanks so much for helping me. I would have had no idea what to do otherwise."

"Ah, anytime." Sophie said. "We're all still at Cecily's place, and - oh, I think Will's just at the door -"

I heard Will's voice say something incoherent in the background, and then Cecily's voice yell "How was it?"

"Yeah, did Tessa look good or what?" came Jessamine's interrogative call.

"Leave me alone, you smug idiots." Will said, and I heard Cecily call, "Hey, get back here! Are you going to your room to listen to love ballads?"

"Tessa's on the phone!" Sophie yelled, and I jumped at her loud voice in my ear.

"Is she?" I could almost hear Will rolling his eyes. "Why, did you want to get all the juicy details?"

"Obviously," came Cecily's voice.

"Tell Tessa I said thanks for tonight too." Will's voice was quiet in the background.

"Will says thanks." Sophie informed me.

I smiled. "I know. I heard."

* * *

Tatiana left me alone for the next few weeks, but I was the unfortunate recipient of many glares and staged whispers from her and her posse of friends.

However, I was most hurt by her one particularly Thursday - when she wasn't even there. It was a dreary, drizzly kind of day, and we were all inside the canteen at lunch, talking about nothing in particular.

"So, who's going to the party tomorrow night?" Jessamine asked finally.

"The party?" I said, trying to remember any mentions of someone's birthday or something.

"Tatiana's party, Tessa. You know." Cecily said. Everyone was giving me funny looks.

I raised my eyebrows. "Tatiana? As in the crazy, popular girl we all hate? Why would we go to her party?"

"She didn't invite you?" Sophie asked in surprise. "But Tatiana invites _everyone._ All of us, even though she hates us. Apart from you, Will."

Will did not look particularly happy about that.

"But why would you go?" I asked. "It's… _Tatiana."_

Cecily scoffed. "But it's also one of the biggest parties of the year. _Everyone_ goes. Her house is that big one on the end of our street, remember? We don't even have to talk to her, and we go every year."

"It's pretty fun." Sophie said. "Tatiana may be a cow, but she throws decent parties."

"I'm surprised you didn't get an invitation." Jem said. "They're sent all around the school."

"Tatiana wouldn't invite me." I looked round at them all. "She hates me, remember?"

"But still." Will looked annoyed. "She invites _everyone."_

And I hated to admit it, but I was kind of hurt. Tatiana probably had grudges against heaps of people, so why was it just me who wasn't invited?

"Oh well, I wouldn't want to go anyway." I said in what I hoped was an offhand voice.

"Oh, don't be stupid." Cecily rolled her eyes. "You're coming with us. Tatiana won't even notice, and besides, who cares if she does?"

"No, that's fine." I said quickly. "That would be weird."

"Come on, Tessa." Will said. "It'll be fun. For one thing, the food is good."

"With you, it's always the food." I said, but I was smiling. "Alright. Fine, I'll come. May as well, I don't have anything better to do tomorrow night."

"Yes!" Sophie said. "It'll be so fun!"

Little did I know how wrong she was.

* * *

 **Sensing trouble? *muffled evil laughter* Will update soon, love to you all!**

 **\- s.i**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey thanks for all the lovely reviews, I super appreciate them.**

 **Josi191 - Thank you so much, that means a lot to me and I'm really glad you like the story! And your English is so good, too. Have a nice day as well!**

 **Clacelover246 - Haha thank you... and yes, trouble is coming :) maw haw haw**

 **buriedbehindbooks - Aw, thank you! *blushes* That's so nice, I'm glad you like it!**

 **Holly Herondale - Wow, thanks! That's so nice haha, if I ever wrote a book I'd probably just ramble on for most of the text but it's the thought that counts, right? ;)**

 **mezzogal - thank you, I'm working on trying to make my intro/story hooks better and less of an info dump, you know? So that's really great, glad you like it!**

 **And... enjoy this chapter! New one soon, as always.**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _12: Friends, Fun and Fights_

 _Tessa_

I was struggling through a rather hefty essay that night - _what was it with all these essays, honestly_ \- and feeling sorry for myself.

My room was lonely, Nate was nowhere to be seen and shadows drifted round the walls like ghosts. I was feeling isolated and pathetic and miserable, and my brain was refusing to come up with anything for this damn essay.

Finally, with a sigh, I shoved away from my desk. There was no point working when I was like this. I called Cecily.

"What's up?" she answered straight away. "Can you come over? Will's sulking in his room, and I'm bored. I might call Sophie and Jem, and I suppose Jessamine."

"Sure." I said. "That sounds great. I can ask Sophie to pick me up, maybe."

I was sick of getting picked up by all my friends. As soon as I had the time, I would get a drivers license and and buy a crappy car and zip round all over London. I'd never have to ask for a lift ever again.

"Awesome. See you there." Cecily said, and hung up.

Sophie, fortunately, was free to pick me up. We drove to Cecily's together, where we met Jem and Jessamine on the doorstep.

Cecily looked happy to see us. "Oh, thank the angels. Sophie, I love you, can you please help me cook something? I'm starving and Mum's out."

"Why?" Sophie smiled. "Were you worried you'd burn down the kitchen without me?"

"Basically." Cecily said. "And you make the best pancakes, which is currently the food I am craving. Jem, Tessa and Jessamine, you'd better help too."

So that was how we found ourselves making a huge mess of the kitchen, getting flour on everything and passing round the mixing bowl to all have a go stirring.

Sophie inspected the mixture. "Ready to cook!" she announced, spooning out some of the mixture onto a pan on the stove.

"I'm surprised Will hasn't come down yet." I said to Cecily. "The smell of pancakes would probably be irresistible to him."

Cecily gave me an apologetic look. "Well… he's been in his room for ages, and… I was actually wondering if you could maybe try talking to him? I've banged on his door and yelled obscene Welsh insults, but it didn't work for some reason."

"That _is_ strange." I said, sharing an amused look with Jem. "I'll go up to his room."

"Oh, thanks Tessa. You're the best. We'll make you a huge stack of pancakes."

"With heaps of maple syrup." I instructed, going up the stairs.

"Of course." Cecily assured me. "That goes without saying."

I got to Will's room to find the door firmly shut. I knocked tentatively.

"Leave me alone, Cecy." came Will's muffled voice.

"Will, it's Tessa." I said loudly so he could hear through the wood.

There was silence, and then a sigh. "Fine, come in."

Will's room was taken up on one side by a huge shelf of books. Otherwise, apart from the messy clothes strewn over the floor, his room was pretty bare.

Will was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling with a resigned expression. "Cecily sent you, didn't she?" he grumbled.

I came in, not sure if I should sit on his bed or just stand there awkwardly. I decided to do the latter. "You know, hanging round in here doesn't suit you." I told him. "I can smell the restlessness."

Will sighed, sitting up against his bed frame. He gave me an empty look.

My heart contracted slightly. "Will," I said, "what's wrong?"

He closed his eyes. "Life. I wasn't prepared for it today."

"You're getting better, though." I said softly.

"I know." He ran his hands through his hair, giving me a tired smile. "That's mainly because of you. But I'm not perfect yet."

"No one is." I said, and then I cracked and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Tess," Will said heavily, "tell me something I need to hear."

I took in the shadows under his eyes, and I wished I could rub them away. Yep, I know. I'm a hopeless romantic. It's why I read so much.

"When school finishes," I said finally, "you and I are going back to New York for a while. You'll… I don't know, become a movie star or something no doubt, and I'll write a book dedicated to _A Tale of Two Cities,_ and Cecily and Jem and probably Sophie and Jessamine will fly over and demand to share an house with us, and we'll go all around the city every day. And then one day we'll come back to London and laugh at how different it is."

He smiled slightly. "We'd travel all around the world, first."

"Oh, yes." I said. "Adventures in every continent."

Will reached out and took my hand, and I laced my fingers in his. He was still sort of smiling, and some of the life had returned to his face.

I leaned over and kissed him before I could talk myself out of it. Then I pulled away quickly, not sure if that had crossed a line. But Will groaned and pulled me back, his eyes closing. I wondered if I'd ever get tired of his heat, or if my brain could ever learn how to think properly while Will was kissing me. I doubted it.

All too soon, we heard a bang on the door, and Cecily yelled, "if you two don't stop making out in there, we'll eat all the pancakes!"

I broke away, blushing. Will grinned. "Nobody told me about _pancakes_."

We hurried downstairs to swipe a stack each. Jem had taken up duty as official Pancake Flipper, as Sophie and Cecily were pouring out maple syrup. Jessamine was sitting at the table complaining about how she was on her new diet and it was unfair of us to tempt her like this.

"Oh, just have some, Jessamine." Will said cheerfully. "You only live once and all that."

She sniffed haughtily, but grabbed a plate when she thought no one was looking.

We experimented with different toppings - lemon juice and icing sugar turned out to be delicious. And Jem dared Will to eat a pancake with soy sauce, which was disgusting.

We turned on the radio and surfed stations for songs we knew, and Jem lead me in a ball dance round the kitchen, and Jessamine stuck out her foot so I tripped over and nearly upended the maple syrup.

Then Will got up on the table and started teaching us a 'Welsh jig,' which Jem said was actually Irish but Cecily shushed him, and then Sophie pulled out her phone and started photographing Will on snapchat, which turned into a scuffle for her phone, which ended up with Cecily leaping off the kitchen counter and crash-tackling us into a painful pile on the floor, and Jessamine was complaining that her nail manicure was _ruined._

By accident I had landed on top of Will, and everyone started making gagging noises as he kissed me, and I was so happy that I thought I would actually burst.

And after we'd all trooped into the living room and spread out on every available surface, we turned on the TV and make fun of every channel and laughed ourselves sick. I was lying against Will, and he was playing with my hair, and Sophie had to teach him how to braid it while everyone crowded around me like twelve year old girls.

And then we took a million photos of ourselves on everyone's phones, and Jessamine threatened to kill us if we posted them on social media - on account of her looking 'completely wild.'

"I mean, just look at my hair!" she said. "That was _your_ fault, Cecily."

"Well, you were in the way when I jumped off the counter." Cecily said.

And then, when we were too tired to do anything else, we all lay against each other just talking about nothing, and I wished the night would never end.

Finally, when we had to go, Sophie dropped me home. I waved her goodbye as I opened the front door, looking forward to dropping onto my bed and sleeping like the dead until morning.

But, nope.

"Had a _nice time_?" asked Nate, scaring me half out of my wits. He was sitting at the kitchen table, exactly where I had sat waiting up for him many times.

"You're - you're home early!" I said, staring. After weeks, he had finally arrived here before me. "I'm sorry I didn't call you, I was out, and - "

"Is this what you've been doing the past week?" Nate snapped, interrupting me. "Going out late, hanging out with god-knows-who, doing whatever the hell you want behind my back?"

He stood up, and although I was tall, Nate still towered over me. I felt hot anger rising up my throat, the product of all those nights I'd spent unable to sleep worrying about him. "Just like what you've been doing?" I asked. "How can you _say_ that?"

Nate looked like I'd slapped him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't lie." I snapped furiously. "I've heard you. Every night, well past midnight, you come stumbling home from the bar with a _friend_ or two, never bothering to tell me!"

Nate stepped forward, and I instinctively backed into the door.

"That's none of your business." he growled. "I slave away all day, every day, so you can go to a school full of brats, who seem to have tried to adopt you. And you blame me for not using my _only spare time_ to look after you? You're throwing away all the money I sweat for _every day,_ and somehow it's my fault?"

"Nate, no!" I yelled. "I'm blaming you for never telling me where you are, what you're doing, so that I stay up every night wondering if you're _dead_ or something _,_ and then you come home and tell me I'm not allowed to _leave the house_ without your permission?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you!" Nate yelled back, and for the first time I flinched, with a prick of fear. This was my brother - why was I suddenly scared?

Nate looked like he was visibly holding himself back from yelling, or worse. "You will come _straight_ home after school, and you will _let me be."_

"I will not." I seethed. "If I'm not supposed to complain about your _late night wanderings_ than you can't complain about mine."

"I'm the older brother." Nate snarled back at me. "Our parents are dead, and I'm the one in charge now!"

"Like hell." I said quietly, dangerously, looking my brother straight in the eyes. "Like hell you are."

Nate raised a hand, and for a moment - just for a second, I was sure he was going to hit me. My breath caught in my throat, and I stumbled away from him.

And Nate dropped his hand, closing his eyes. He looked like he was silently counting to ten.

"We'll talk about this later."

A silence descended over the kitchen, tension hanging heavy in the air between us.

Then I turned and walked up the stairs without a word. I slammed my bedroom door and sunk down on my bed, burying my face in my pillow.

I felt so, so alone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Please don't hate me after this chapter! Stuff goes down... yeah. But I guess if y'all hate me then I've done a good job then huh? *nervous laughter* Anyways, read and review, I'll update soon!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _13: Blood is Thicker_

 _Tessa_

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Cecily asked incredulously.

It was finally Friday, and my friends were all staring at me. I was not in the mood to explain. I'd barely slept last night and Nate had left me with a sick feeling in my gut all morning.

 _Nate._

"I mean, I'm not coming." I said, trying to sound cheerful. "My brother's been… working hard lately, and… we're going to hang out for the night."

It wasn't _exactly_ a lie, I _was_ planning to confront Nate. But not for a relaxing sibling-bond hang out, I was sure.

"Are you sure you want to miss the party?" asked Jem. "After all, _we'll_ be there." he grinned.

I sighed. "Yeah. I wasn't even invited anyway, so I don't mind too much. There'll be other parties, guys. That's high school - dramas and parties. Don't you guys read teenage fiction?"

Will grinned. "You can't just generalise the whole contemporary genre like that, you know."

"Yes, I basically can."

Sophie made a prayer gesture. "Please come, Tessa, I'll be so bored without you!"

"What do you mean?" Cecily asked, offended. "We'll all be there!"

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure. Will's going to get kidnapped by Tatiana - "

Will winced.

"Jem will be whisked away by a pile of girls, too," Sophie continued, while Jem made the same face as Will. "Jessamine will only be talking about everyone's outfits - "

"Rude," huffed Jessamine.

"And Cecily will probably be off somewhere with Gabriel." Sophie finished.

It was hard to tell who looked more outraged, Will or Cecily herself. "I will not be anywhere _near_ Gabriel!" she announced.

"You'd better not be!" Will glared. "That _Lightworm_ is worse than Tatiana!"

Sophie and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

Every time someone even mentioned Gabriel in passing, Will and Cecily would go off like this. Cecily's overblown outrage made me almost think that maybe, possibly, Sophie was right about her and Gabriel. You can only say you hate a person so many times before it sounds fake.

"I'm sorry," I said finally, looking away, "but I can't make tonight. I'm sure you'll be fine, Sophie. If you're about to die of boredom you can text me."

And that was that.

* * *

As the school day wore on I grew more and more worried about Nate, and at lunch I excused myself to the bathroom before I could break down.

Mercifully, the place was empty as I splashed water over my face and took deep, shuddering breaths.

I glared at myself in the mirror, at my pale face and red-rimmed eyes.

"It's fine." I told myself firmly, my voice echoing in the empty room. "Nate has fought with you before, and it's been okay. He won't hurt you."

Then I felt even more stupid. _Look at me, talking to my reflection while trying not to cry in a school bathroom._

I shut my eyes and silently counted to ten before drying my face and going back to the canteen.

My friends probably saw something was off. I was quiet, and picking at my food. Will was giving me worried looks, and finally I met his gaze with en exasperated scowl. I wanted to tell him to leave me alone and that I was fine.

I didn't, because it wasn't true.

"Hey, you alright?" Will asked me finally, when the bell rang and we were heading back to class.

"Just… tired." I said after a moment, not looking at him.

"Tessa - "

I pushed past him to my locker, cutting him off. A guilty knot tightened in my stomach, yet another weight to my already twisted-up insides. But I could deal with Will later, after I'd talked to Nate.

But talking to Nate took longer than I had thought, because he wasn't at home when I arrived.

 _Of course he's not, you dolt._ I told myself furiously. _Did you really think he would come home early just to fight with you?_

And so I was alone in the house for hours, with no one but my miserable self for company.

I'd been so stupid to let it come to this. Nate had fought with me before, he'd come home drunk before. This shouldn't have been new.

I should have paid more attention, instead of being so wrapped up in my own stupid thoughts that I'd barely said anything to Nate, who had been slipping away day by day.

I should have, should have, _should have…_

I called Nate, and called again, and again. I left voicemails where I talked so fast he wouldn't have been able to understand me, saying I was _so sorry and could you please come home._ I left voicemails that were just seconds of silence before I hung up.

Nate never answered.

And as the hours ticked by, I couldn't wait any longer in this damn place. I had to go find him, _now,_ before I went mad. I needed my brother, I needed to know he was okay.

I shoved on my raincoat - the forecast had predicted, _amazingly,_ that it was going to rain - and grabbed some spare change. I was out the door before I realised I hadn't grabbed my phone, and by then I was too determined to turn back for it.

Maybe I knew, somehow, that Nate wasn't at work. Maybe I just wasn't admitting it to myself.

 _I'll check the bar just in case,_ I told myself, _on my way to his work. He won't be there, I'm sure._

But was I sure? No, I really wasn't.

It was dark already, and I shivered as I hurried down the street, making a mental note to save up for a thicker jacket. My raincoat was pathetic against the wind and first drops of rain.

The bar was only a block away, I'd walked past it many times on my way to school with my eyes averted. I knew Nate had been there, he'd mentioned it casually a few times. But I didn't think I could bear it if he was there now. After everything.

The faded building loomed out of the gloom suddenly like it was mocking me. Through the steamy windows I could see the long benches, jumbles of stools, and the crowds sitting at them. People gulping down drinks, fanning cards, talking much louder than normal. Yells, pulsing music, artificial lights. The stink of sweat and alcohol and aggression.

I winced, drawing my arms around myself. It was raining harder now, but I'd rather stay out here and freeze then venture through that door.

I wanted to turn around and walk back home, but Nate was my brother. If he really was here, then I was damned if I wasn't going to get him.

I was expecting security, but whoever had been watching the door was probably tied up with some other drama or fight. Obviously this pub was one of the more lax ones. And anyway, I was just as tall as many people in the club, and I could look a lot older with a murderous expression.

I pulled open the door and stepped inside, expecting someone to yell at me to get out again. But no one so much as looked my way.

Then I nearly gagged at the stench, at the crowd. People were slumped over tables, gulping down beer or yelling with friends. One man grabbed my arm as I walked further into the place. "Can I buy you a drink, pretty?"

I shook him off, feeling suddenly faint. But I couldn't back down now. I strode up to one of the men serving drinks at the bar, trying to stand tall and casual. Casual was really the last thing I felt. "Excuse me, have you seen a young man called Nathaniel Gray?"

"Nate?" The man chuckled. "He's one of our regulars. You'll find him up the back."

I thanked him and pushed through the crowd, peering into the dark corners of the pub. My heart was racing. Nate _couldn't_ be in here…

Then I saw him.

Nate was sitting at a crowded table at the very back, his eyes bloodshot and his jacket in tatters. As I watched, horrorstruck, as he lifted up a huge, sopping glass of beer with a laugh. A curvy young girl next to him raised her glass and hiccuped, giggling. The rest of the men Nate was sitting with raised their glasses and laughed.

"To all of you fine gentlemen." Nate declared. His voice was horribly slurred, and his shirt was stained with beer. He was holding cards, and he put one down as he gulped his drink, slamming it onto the table.

He was my brother. My _brother._

I wanted to scream. I stepped forward. "Nate!"

He looked round, his eyes taking a moment to focus on me. When they did, his features twisted into a not-unfamiliar snarl. "Come to tease your older brother, have you?"

The people sitting with him swung round to stare at me. A few whistled, and one guy swore loudly and passed out in his chair. I stood my ground, but I was shaking.

"Nate, what are you doing?" My voice was unsteady.

Nate turned back to his friends. "Excuse me, fellas. Better sort this out."

He got unsteadily out of his chair, and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me after him. He was _here,_ this was really happening.

"Nate, you're hurting me! You're _drunk!_ " I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp, but his grip was iron.

"Shut it!" Nate hissed. He pulled me out of the pub, and shoved me roughly against the wall. All I could take in was the sudden burst of rain, the rough brick pressing into my back, Nate's burning hands. My breath hitched, an ugly stab in my throat.

"Nate, please…" I whispered, frightened of the person I loved most in the world.

Because I realised it then. I wasn't mad at him - I was terrified of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nate snarled. He shook me, hard, and I tried to escape his grip but he was holding me painfully tight.

The street was deserted and dark, and no one would be able to see us in the pouring rain.

No one could help me.

"I - I came to find you, to apologise," I said desperately, "Nate - you're not okay, let me take you home, you'll feel better in the morning - "

"Don't you _dare_ tell me if I'm okay or not!" he yelled, flecks of saliva hitting me in the face. He looked completely mad, and I heard myself sobbing from far away.

"I've spent my whole life looking after you, sacrificing things for you, toiling away for you, but you can't let me take _one_ night off - you ungrateful wretch!" Nate snarled. I didn't see his fist until it was too late, but I tasted blood.

 _My brother, my brother -_

"Nate, please!" I gasped, struggling to get free. I was choking on blood and fear. "You're not thinking straight - "

"You're pathetic."Nate hissed. "Stay away from me. Don't _ever_ come back here." His eyes were wild and - insane.

He shoved me against the wall one last time, before dropping me to the ground. The rain soaked into my stupid jacket, the wind was roaring in my ears.

"Don't bother going home." Nate spat. And then my brother - my only surviving family - strode back inside the bar without a backwards glance.

I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. My face was stinging with the force of his fist, my back scratched and burning from being slammed into the wall.

 _Get up, Tessa. Get up._

It took me far too long to get to my feet, using the wall as a support. I wiped the tears from my stinging face, but it was no use. The rain instantly drenched me again.

Where could I go? It wasn't like I could just run back home -

The realisation hit me then.

There was nothing.

No one.

Except - that wasn't true.

All my friends were at the stupid party - even though Tatiana and her dramas seemed suddenly, _incredibly_ far away.

I couldn't call anyone, I'd left my phone at home.

But I could run.

* * *

 _Will_

I didn't know why I was here.

I was alone at this stupid party, and I was bored and restless and I missed Tessa like a constant ache.

Which was stupid, since I'd seen her at school only a few hours ago.

I wondered if she was okay - I didn't trust her brother even though I'd never met him. From what I guessed he had said to Tessa on the phone when I'd first met her at the airport, Tessa's brother seemed unpredictably hostile. Maybe I should call her to check if she was okay -

No, I was not going to be pathetic.

I'd narrowly avoided a posse of girls all giggling in a painfully fake harmony, and people had offered me drinks more times than I could count. Jem had disappeared, he'd been dragged away by some girl and he was probably too polite to leave. Sophie was… somewhere.

I scanned the crowd for her, pushing through crowds all chatting and laughing and dancing. They had to scream to be heard over the music - which was loud and trendy and pulsing enough that I felt it through the floor.

Tatiana's living space was huge, and completely packed. We all had to crowd in after it started raining outside, and the heat and smell of sweat was kind of gross when I stopped to think about it.

I found Sophie in the kitchen leaning against the marble counter. She was talking to Gideon in a hushed voice and he was standing so close to her that I wondered how she had room for air.

"Sophie!" I called. "I knew it!"

Sophie smacked her hip painfully on the counter as she swung round and fixed me with a glare powerful enough to make me take a step backwards. Gideon looked embarrassed, he shot me an awkward smile while rubbing the back of his neck.

"For goodness sake, William, go annoy someone else!" Sophie yelled.

I held up my hands, grinning. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise I'd interrupted something _special."_

Then I hurried out of the kitchen, narrowly dodging the tea-towel that had been chucked at my head.

As I went back into the living room, my amusement faded into boredom. If I could rescue Jem, maybe, or find Cecily, or if only Tessa was here -

"Will, isn't it?" a girl asked, batting her eyelashes at me. She'd materialised out of nowhere, her lips barely visible under a vigorous coating of lipgloss.

"That's what they tell me." I said, already walking past her.

She giggled, grabbing at my arm with a surprisingly firm grip. "Dance with me?"

 _Tessa -_

"I'm sorry, I was actually looking for Cecily." I said hurriedly. "Do you know her?"

Her smirk turned into a pout before I could blink. "Yeah, I know her." Then she smirked again. "I last saw her in the hallway."

"Thanks." I said, dashing off before the could get a grip on my arm again.

The hallway, unlike the flashing neon living space, was dark. I nearly tripped over a couple making out next to the door, and tried to pretend I hadn't noticed them.

But then I heard a very familiar voice say, "Will?"

I swung round to face the grossly-passionate couple. Gabriel Lightwood's glare was unmistakable, and even in the gloom I recognised my own sister instantly.

 _What. The. Hell._


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, hope you're all doing okay, surviving the swamp of work and catching up on sleep (something I need to do)! Anyways, new chapter, sorry for lots of POV switches here but I got caught up in the moment ;)**

 **Clacelover246 - Yup poor Cecily XD and don't worry about Tessa, the gang is forevs huh? Thanks for reading!**

 **LostInMyDreamm - Thanks so much, that means a lot! I'll keep updating annoyingly regularly I promise.**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _14: Running in the Rain_

 _Tessa_

Of _course_ it had to be raining. _Of course._

Cecily had said that Tatiana's house was the big one on the end of her street. That wouldn't be hard to find.

But unfortunately, I had never tried to run to Cecily and Will's street. I'd always been driven.

First I reached my home, dashing in the door before anyone could stop me. I stumbled into my room, shoving half my clothes into a backpack, as well as my phone, spare change, a pile of books, and whatever else seemed important.

Aunt Harriet had left me with a sum in a bank account for emergencies before she'd passed away, and that as well as my measly savings from the past few years might just be enough to keep me afloat for a while. I couldn't pack that in my backpack, but it was reassuring to remember I had a plan.

Nate could be back any moment, though I doubted he'd come straight home. He'd probably stay at the pub for a lot longer - but I wasn't taking any chances.

I looked around at my home, and I knew I wasn't coming back. This was it.

Then I was locking the front door behind me and dashing back into the drenching rain with a curse. _Why didn't you grab an umbrella?_

But if I stopped to go back now, I didn't think I'd ever be able to keep going.

I knew the way to Will and Cecily's street, of course, but the pounding rain seeping into every inch of my body did not help matters. It was like icy needles jabbing into my skin, cutting down my back and rolling off me in waves.

My lungs were already burning, my breath coming in static gasps. My feet were slipping on the drenched pavement and I was honestly lucky that I hadn't fallen over yet.

And spinning through my head was _Nate Nate Nate Nate,_ unbidden memories coming flashing to the surface.

Nate waltzing me round Aunt Harriet's living room, me laughing myself sick and him putting his arms tight around me. Nate searching for me while I hid behind a tree, giggling, until he tackled me into the grass yelling, "Gotcha!" Nate pulling a book out of my hands to get my attention. Nate kicking me under the table so he could catch my eye. Nate whispering in my ear, telling me things were going to be alright.

 _Nate slamming me against the wall in the rain._

At this point, I couldn't even tell if I was crying. The rain in my face made it permanently soaked anyway.

And I forced myself to think about nothing else but _one foot in front of another, keep going, keep going, almost there._

The houses got bigger and fancier, the cars multiplied as the streets grew larger.

I thought about what I'd say to my friends when I finally reached them. I could crash at their places for a while, find a job, and eventually find some other cheap apartment and keep myself going. I could do it. _It would be alright._

The rain was so thick now I could barely see, and when I _finally_ reached the street I'd been running for I nearly collapsed with relief.

But if I fell down now, I would never get up again. _Keep going keep going keep going._

I dashed past Will's house, its windows dark, and kept going until I spotted what had to be Tatiana's place.

Huge, fancy, loud with music, and every window seemed to be lit. I could make out silhouettes of people dancing and talking through the glass.

It reminded me of standing outside of the pub, and a wave of nausea hit me that left my legs shaking. My face was burning from where Nate had struck me. It would bruise if it hadn't already, and I would be reminded of him every time I looked in the mirror.

 _Not now, Tessa, not now._ I looked down at my drenched clothes and dripping hair. I could only imagine what I looked like. _Puffy eyes, bruised cheek, face pale as death._

I took a deep, shuddering breath, stood straighter, and knocked on the door.

* * *

 _Will_

"What the _hell_ Cecily!" I yelled.

Gabriel disentangled himself from my sister and straightened up so he could glare at me. But I barely glanced at him, I was focusing all my energy at my sister.

"Making out with a _Lightworm?"_ I spat at her. "What were you actually thinking?"

"It's none of your goddamn business, Will!" Cecily yelled back, standing up too. "Leave me alone!"

"I'd love to," I snapped, "but I think I'll have to be the voice of reason here! _If that idiot touches you again - "_

"Don't talk to her that way!" Gabriel hissed at me. I remembered when I'd met him years ago, how he'd teased Jem and fought with me about Tatiana and how I'd nearly broken his arm. We'd hated each other ever since. And I'd always thought Cecily agreed with me.

"She's my sister!" I hissed back at him.

Gabriel shoved me backwards, and since I wasn't expecting it I stumbled.

"Gabriel!" Cecily yelled. "Don't touch him!"

But I was already moving, my arm pressing against Gabriel's throat. Here was something to distract me, at least.

"Will!" Cecily shrieked, trying to pull me away. "You _idiot!_ Leave us _alone!"_

Gabriel bared his teeth at me, his eyes flashing in the darkness of the hallway. He twisted out of my grip, and then suddenly his fist was flying at my face.

 _Well, you started it,_ I thought as I blocked him and pushed him back into the wall with a crash.

Cecily grabbed my arm, digging her nails in. "Stop it _right now."_ she growled at me.

"Hey, he's the one trying to punch me." I snapped. "Besides, _what were you thinking - "_

This time, Gabriel really did punch me, before I could finish my sentence. It stung, but I was only staggering for a moment before my fist glanced off his jaw.

" _Both of you stop!"_ Cecily forced her sway between us, her eyes livid. " _I am serious._ Gabriel, don't touch my brother. And _Will,_ none of this is your business so just _leave me alone!"_

She glared at me and I glared right back. "Cecily, I can't just let you - "

"No one asked you!" she hissed. "So just _go find someone else to beat up, why don't you?"_

I raised my hands, snapping, "Fine, fine. But Gabriel, _darling,_ if you touch her again - "

Gabriel snarled, "then we'll finish our _conversation_ later. I look forward to it!"

"As do I!" I hissed, storming away back to the main room. I knew, deep down, that Cecily was right, but I couldn't believe that she'd choose that _idiot -_

"Oh, Will?" came a voice.

A sickly sweet, familiar voice.

I looked round to see Tatiana smiling at me. She was wearing a slinky black dress, probably a size too small. Her hair was curled in perfect ringlet waves - unlike Tessa's, which was more natural and messy and beautiful, even though they were nearly the same shade of brown.

Tatiana had also done something to her eyes, they were lined in thick black like she'd done a sharpie outline.

She was pretty and perfect and somehow not the least bit alluring.

"Tatiana." I said, already looking past her for a means of escape.

She pressed a drink into my hands, a slippery cold glass that I nearly dropped. "How's the party?"

"It's great." I said, still fuming from Cecily and Gabriel. "I love these types of cliche teenage gatherings. Just the right ratio of dancing to making out."

I shouldn't have said that, because Tatiana's lips curved up in a smirk. "Do you want to dance?"

"Sorry," I waved the glass in her face, "I'm drinking."

Tatiana picked up another glass from the table and held it up. "So am I."

She sipped daintily on her drink, and after staring at her for a moment I gave up and drowned the glass. Whatever the drink was, it burned on its way down my throat.

Tatiana put down her glass, and suddenly her hand was wrapping round my arm like a steel band. "Let's go."

"Actually," I shook her off, "I was looking for Jem. I believe he's been kidnapped by some of the year ten girls."

Tatiana leaned forward so she was practically breathing in my face, her perfume as sickly sweet as her voice. "Oh, don't worry about Jem."

I pulled away again. "I have to. He would do the same for me."

Tatiana grabbed my arm again and practically dragged me over to the dance floor - which was to say, the area more crowded than usual.

She was in my face again, and I wanted to ask her if anyone had ever told her about personal space, and I was feeling kind of sick from whatever I'd just drunk, and I missed Tessa so badly that it hurt.

"I'm sorry, I'm not dancing with you." I said firmly, trying to pull away again.

She didn't look annoyed. "Oh well. You said it yourself, there are other cliche things to be doing at a party."

I figured out what she was going to do a split second before she lunged at me, and suddenly her lips were on mine and her arms were around my neck in more of a trapping device than a gesture of affection. I tasted lipgloss and the drink from my glass.

The only thing running through my brain was _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa -_

And I was struggling to pull away, but Tatiana was surprisingly strong, and my balance was already off so I was dangerously close to falling over if she hadn't been forcing me upright.

And then finally, I pushed back enough that she let me go, and I nearly tripped backwards into one of the music speakers.

And I was staring at Tatiana, and she was smirking with her eyes glowing scarily against her eyeliner, and I realised she thought she'd won. Her eyes flicked past me for a moment, and when I turned round I saw the front door was wide open.

And standing in the doorway was -

Tessa.

 _Oh, crap._

* * *

 _Tessa_

The front door of Tatiana's house had swung open almost immediately, opened by floppy-haired boy who looked vaguely familiar from my maths class. He also looked quite unbalanced.

"Tessa, right?" he asked loudly, grinning at me and throwing an arm over my shoulder like we'd known each other for years.

I was dripping wet, extremely close to tears, and definitely _not_ in the mood. "Hi." I mumbled.

"Come in, come in!" the boy said happily, gesturing lazily behind him. "You're at the right place!"

"I sure hope I am." I muttered, sidestepping the boy as he tried to hug me again.

The place was big, flashy, loud, crowded, everything I had expected. Except that suddenly, it had gotten quieter. The music was still blaring explicitly, of course, but people were looking at me and whispering and heads turned sharply towards the people dancing near the speakers.

I looked over, and a moment later saw what everyone was whispering about.

Standing right in the middle, the crowd parting around them, were Will and Tatiana.

 _Kissing._

* * *

 _Will_

I heard the chattering go quiet, and I wished someone would turn down the music. It felt like my ears were bleeding.

Tessa was staring straight at me, and she was wet from the rain and her face was deathly pale and the horrified look on her face made me feel like I'd been stabbed in the gut.

And I knew everyone was staring at us, and Tatiana wasn't even bothering to hide her triumphant grin.

 _I can explain, it was an accident, it wasn't my fault, I didn't mean it, it's not how it looks -_

But before I could get the jumble of words out of my mouth, Tessa turned and ran back the way she'd come.

* * *

 _Tessa_

When Will broke away and looked over at me, and I saw the guilt in his face, I knew.

I had been such an idiot. How could I have possibly thought that _Will Herondale_ actually cared about me more than the next girl, the next kiss, the next drama?

When his life was a whirlwind of whatever distraction he could sign up for, how had I been naive enough to think he'd _actually stop,_ just because I was there?

 _Use and discard. Next, next, next._

Embarrassment flamed in my face, because even now my blushing would always catch me out. And I could see pity and guilt in everyone faces, and _it was just too much_ and the ground that had been shifting under me since Nate had punched me just… fell away.

And I was falling.

And I was running. Back out the door, back in the the _stupid_ rain, and I could hear Will yelling my name but I didn't look back.

* * *

 _Will_

I saw it in her face. I knew if I let her leave now, she wouldn't come back.

I ran, pushing past whoever was standing in my way, out the door, into the onslaught of rain.

I was soaked immediately, water fogging my vision, but I followed Tessa's figure, yelling her name even as my voice cracked.

I managed to reach her, to grab her arm, both of us shuddering to a halt. I noticed she was wearing a backpack for some reason, like she'd run away with all the traces of herself and never come back.

"Please, let me explain." I gasped.

Tessa shook her arm out of my grasp. "So you can make up some excuse and pretend _that didn't happen?_ Let me guess, _it wasn't your fault,_ am I right?"

"Tessa, just listen!" I could see she was turning to run again. "This is so stupid! Tatiana threw herself at me, I was trying to get away!"

"Oh, please." Tessa snapped, and then she was crying. Her tears were drowned in the rain, but from the way her shoulders were shaking and the way she turned away from me, there was no way she could hide it.

And I wanted to put my arms around her so badly I thought I might actually die.

"You have to believe me," I said hoarsely. "Tessa, I would never do that to you. It was a mistake."

"How am I supposed to believe that?" she half screamed. "You're always doing this, always wrecking yourself and those around you because deep inside you think _you don't deserve it!_ "

"Tessa - "

"You say you're broken inside," Tessa yelled, "but in fact you're just an asshole, like the rest of them!"

Then I just… snapped. "So what's the point?" I yelled at her. "What's the point of changing if everyone refuses to believe it?"

"I don't call snogging random girls behind my back _changing!"_ Tessa's glare was like a laser burning right through me.

And she turned to run again.

* * *

 **Dramatic vibes huh? The weird thing is, I love writing about stupid dramas but I actually never have them in real life, like me and my friends honestly just can't be bothered! we're the chill, nerdy group. It's great, strongly recommend ;)**

 **\- s.i**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi, sorry for that terrible cliffhanger I left y'all on! *innocent smile* I'm turning up the angst for this chapter, hope you all enjoy!**

 **Clacelover246 - Can we share Wessa as our babies? Pretty please?;) Thanks so much, that means a lot!**

 **LostInMyDreamm - ah thank you, I finally am getting up to the dramatic chapters!**

 **D - Aw, thanks! That means a lot, and here I am updating for you too :)**

 **Paige - Thanks! I'm glad it's hooking, sometimes I wonder if I blather on a bit too much ;) Enjoy!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _15: The Way Home_

 _Tessa_

Sure, Tatiana's party was fun. People were singing, dancing, drinking, chatting, all the normal things you would expect.

And then there was me, having a shouting match outside in the rain.

I was about to turn and leave. There was nothing more I could say to Will, no reason why I had to keep torturing myself by looking at him.

But Will, damn him, was fast, enough to block my way before I could run. "Tessa, _she_ kissed _me._ I would never lie to you." His face was desperate.

His eyes were stupidly, disgustingly, ridiculously blue.

"I can't talk about this anymore!" I tried to push past him. Rain had seeped everywhere, and I felt like I was talking with a mouthful of water. "I'm not the type of girl who's okay with that, and I thought you understood!"

"Funny, I thought the same thing about you!" he snapped.

"I honestly don't know why I thought I was different!" I said fiercely. "When you treat everyone _exactly the same!"_

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you looking for _true love?"_ Will glared at me. "Time to get your head out of all the stupid books you read, _Tessa,_ because this is the real world!"

That hurt, more than I would ever admit.

" _Screw you."_ I spat. And then I finally got past him and started running.

Away from him. Away from the party. Away from this whole night.

Away from this _stupid raining city_ that, right now, was nothing like home.

* * *

 _Will_

I didn't go after her.

I just stood there, like some freaking hero from a Charles Dickens tragedy, letting the rain soak me even more. Because at this point, what did it matter?

I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. Of course she wouldn't believe me, who even did these days? Whoever did was a fool.

Sometimes, I felt like there was nothing to believe _in._

Tessa kept running through my head, over and over like a loop track.

When I first saw her at the airport, the way she'd stood out so sharp against the blurs of everything else. When I'd kissed her at like two am when we were both tired and stupid and waiting for that plane flight. When I'd called her every night, and we'd talk about nothing, and we'd help each other fall asleep. When she'd told me to snap out of the Teen Angst and start living again.

The way she'd smiled at me over the table at that restaurant, a bit shy and a bit in love and so beautiful that it would probably kill me one day.

 _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa -_

"Will!" came a shout. Cecily was standing in the open doorway of Tatiana's place, managing to channel exasperation, annoyance, disbelief and incredulousness through twenty feet of rain.

"What the hell are you doing?" she shouted. "Where's Tessa?"

"She," I gestured hopelessly at the thick curtains of rain ahead of me, "left."

" _What?"_ Cecily came running down to me. "You let her _go?"_

"Look, I didn't _let_ her, she yelled at me and left!" I said angrily. "How is it any of your business, anyway?"

Cecily glared at me. " _Because,_ you idiot, _you have to go after her._ I thought you've read a million dramatic novels, or is that not how it goes?"

"This isn't a book _,_ Cecily!"

"Exactly." She looked at me like I was stupid. "It's not a book character who does the running, it's you."

"Why do you even care?" I half shouted.

"Because Tessa is _family,_ you dolt, and if you're not going after her than I am!"

We glared at each other and I deflated. "Fine." Of course, everything inside me was desperate to run after Tessa, but I didn't let Cecily know that.

It was maybe because I'd wanted to go so badly that I'd stayed still until she found me.

We ran, and I could barely see five feet ahead of me. Cecily kept step beside me, and I could see she was squinting against the rain too.

It was hopeless.

We kept going down the street for about five minutes before finally Cecily slowed to a stop.

"Will!" she grabbed my arm to stop me from dashing past. "It's no use! We have to go back for a car!"

"Agreed." I said, and we turned back the way we'd come.

When we reached Tatiana's house, we found Sophie, Jem and Jessamine all waiting at the front door, barely out of the rain.

"About time, idiots!" Sophie called. "You lost Tessa, let me guess!"

"We have to go after her." I insisted.

"Well, obviously, _loverboy."_ Jessamine rolled her eyes. "Jem's got his car keys."

Jem held them up, and we slipped and slid through the rain to get to his car. We'd all hitched a ride with him to get to the stupid party in the first place, which fortunately meant I didn't have to worry about coming back for my own car.

The carseats were all immediately soaked, and Jessamine was complaining loudly about her expensive dress being _waterlogged and disgusting, and the fabric's very expensive, you know!_

"Where to?" Jem asked, looking in the rear-view mirror at me.

"You guys really don't have to come…" I began, "It was my fault - "

"Nonsense." said Sophie. "I'm going if for nothing else than to get Tessa out of the rain."

"Plus," said Jem, "seeing you embarrassing yourself while apologising will be funny, Will."

"Very funny, I'm sure." I muttered. "Drive slowly to Tessa's house, we'll keep a lookout for her on the way."

Not that looking out the window made much difference, the city was so thick with rain that Tessa could have been waving madly at us and we would probably miss her.

Sophie kept needling me until I finally, haltingly explained what had happened. Jem had seen the fight, and Jessamine had heard the shouting, apparently, but Sophie and Cecily had been… occupied.

When Cecily admitted that, I raised my eyebrows at her. She scowled back at me, but that was a fight for another time.

 _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa._

* * *

 _Tessa_

I nearly tripped over my own feet about ten times, my shoes sliding in the puddles of rain. The rain was roaring almost as loud as my heart, and I could taste salt in my mouth from crying.

Where the _hell_ could I go?

Home was gone, home was something I didn't have, I was _actually homeless._ And I was an orphan, too, no family left at all. Because Nate -

I veered away sharply from his name in my mind, knowing that if I broke down now I would probably fall and never get up.

And _Will -_

Of course, if I was thinking sensibly, I knew Sophie or Jem would definitely let me stay at their place. Hell, Cecily and Will would, too, even if Will and I never spoke again.

But Will was first priority for my friends. They'd known each other long before I'd stumbled in from the other side of the world, and if Will didn't want to see me they'd probably side with him. I didn't think I'd be able to stand staying at one of their places.

And I was not feeling sensible at all.

The rain was _so loud,_ and my heartbeat was pulsing through my whole body, and I was wet and shivering but my muscles were screaming, and in my head I was screaming too.

And everything was so loud that even if I actually had screamed, no one would hear it. Not even me.

I couldn't stay in this damn city any longer. I had to get away from the rain. And from Nate. And Will. And the entire freaking city of London.

If I had felt sensible, even the tiniest bit, I wouldn't have made my decision. But I wasn't sensible, and I hated London and everyone in it, and I wanted to go home.

 _Real_ home.

I wanted to go back to New York.

I thought desperately of my old house, and sun, and actual _decent_ people. With the emergency saving money from Aunt Harriet and the savings I had been going to use if I had stayed at Will's, I could _just possibly_ have enough for a crappy airline flight.

 _Just possibly_ enough to get home.

I stopped running, ducking into a side alley with a building roof overhanging enough that it blocked some of the rain. Leaning against the wall, gasping for breath, my mind whirred.

I would use all my money getting back to London. But, if I could get a flight tonight, I'd be back tomorrow. I could stay at one of my old schoolfriend's places, or at a friend of Aunt Harriet's, and I could find cheap work and earn enough money to eventually get a tiny apartment and scrape some form of a living.

I could figure out my life. And maybe, just maybe, if Nate ever changed his mind, I'd talk to him again.

And suddenly, I could see something to strive for. A future, however vague and hard.

I could do this.

I dug my phone out of my backpack. I should have called Will before - we could have avoided that whole meeting. But I had known my phone would die as soon as even the tiniest drip of water got into it - my phone was pathetic - and I hadn't risked it.

But now, under a bit of cover, I called a taxi. I'd packed spare change in my bag, enough to get a taxi to the airport. I hoped.

I was half mad by the time the taxi arrived. A voice in my head had told me I was being rash, and stupid, and I would regret it. But I couldn't let myself think about that now. And besides, I'd used my precious phone data to look up plane flights - and one of the worst, cheapest airlines was flying to New York. Leaving before midnight.

It had used just about all my money, and I could almost imagine Aunt Harriet gasping in disapproval. But it was too late. I'd booked a last minute flight. And my phone was just about flat - _why didn't I pack a charger?_ \- so I couldn't cancel or change.

No going back now.

The taxi driver looked slightly alarmed at my disheveled, possibly deranged state.

"Where to, miss?" he asked slowly and carefully like I was a wild animal.

"The airport, please." I said hurriedly, climbing in.

"Where's your luggage?" he asked, half getting out of the car. "I'll put it in the back."

"That's alright." I held up my small backpack. "This is all I've got."

* * *

 _Will_

Jem reached Tessa's apartment after what felt like years.

I was half mad by then, desperate to get out of the car and the rain. To find Tessa.

What would I even say to her? What _could_ I say?

We sprinted through the rain, all of us. I knew Tessa's room, it was a few levels higher. Which meant that we had to run up the stairs.

I reached her door first, firmly reminding myself to knock on the door and not try and shove it open.

"Tessa!" Jem yelled beside me, out of breath from the stairs. "Are you there?"

I heard footsteps from inside - but I knew something was wrong before the door even opened. The steps were uneven and much to heavy to be Tessa.

When the door jerked open, I already knew who it was.

I hadn't met Tessa's brother before. She'd told me about him, and it was obvious that she thought the world of him. But looking at Nate Gray now, I couldn't see why.

His blond hair was damp and sticking against his red forehead. His shirt was crinkled and darkened with sweat, and his knuckles were white on the doorframe like he was barely holding himself up. He stank of alcohol.

"What do you want?" Nate snapped. His eyes struggled to focus on us.

"Hi, it's Nate, right?" I said cooly. "We're looking for Tessa."

Nate sneered slightly as he looked at me, his head tilting to the side. "I don't know who the hell you are, and Tessa isn't here."

"Where is she, then?" Cecily said with her arms folded.

Nate laughed, a humourless and savage sound. "I don't know or care."

My hands itched to curl into fists. "How can you say that if she's your sister?" I spat.

He glared at me. "She's _not my sister._ Not anymore."

"You must have some idea where she is." Sophie said icily.

"I don't, but it sure as hell won't be anywhere near here." Nate's fingers tightened further on the doorframe. "I hope she dies on the street."

He made to slam the door, but I was faster as I jammed my foot in the crack. " _You take that back."_

Nate didn't even look mad anymore, just bored. He'd probably pass out as soon as we left. He'd probably wake up in a puddle of his own drool, laughing about what he'd done.

"Scram." Nate said.

I don't even remember making the decision - but suddenly I was shoving the door back to slam against the wall and my fist was connecting with his face.

My blood was roaring, the pain in my fist was as satisfying as seeing Nate's face as he stumbled backwards.

Then he grabbed the door to hold himself up and glared at me with enough hatred to probably kill me.

I should have punched him harder.

" _You will pay for that_." Nate snarled, pushing himself upright. One hand was pressed against his jaw, where a bruise was probably forming.

He took a step towards me, and I was savagely pleased.

But Jem's cool voice stopped Nate right in his tracks. "Stop right there, or I'll call the police."

Nate looked round, already growling. Jem had his phone out, his finger hovering over the call button. He looked so incredibly calm, so completely at odds with how I felt.

"You wouldn't." Nate hissed. "I'll kill you."

"Another thing for the police to charge you with." Jem said. "Who do you think they'd arrest, a bunch of scared kids or a drunk guy who'd wished his own sister dead?"

Nate's lips curled back in a snarl, but he said nothing. He was drunk, and he knew it, and he knew Jem had the advantage.

There was not much he could do.

Nate, visibly seething, stepped backwards and grabbed the door.

"I thought so." Jem said, his eyes glinting like steel.

"You'll regret this." Nate hissed. "You'll _all_ regret this."

"Enjoy your hangover." I told him.

Nate slammed the door, enough that the walls shook.

"Will you _ever_ stop being an idiot, Will?" Jessamine asked.

"Hey, that was my line." Cecily said.

I looked over at Jem. "Thank you."

He waved my words away. "You're an idiot, you know, and I hope your knuckles are stinging."

"Thanks."

"But," Jem said, grinning at me, "that was a good punch."

"Jem!" Cecily snapped at him.

"No time for this, guys." Sophie said forcefully. "We still have to find Tessa."

We dashed back down the stairs and into the rain.

* * *

 **Oh, Nate. You should have known better than to insult Tessa in front of Will. I mean, honestly. ;) Hope you enjoyed, and I'll update soon!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey happy Easter everyone, or if you don't celebrate Easter than happy long weekend! Another angsty, dramatic chapter for you to enjoy with your chocolate, and I'm sad to say we're getting close to the end!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _16: Almost gone_

 _Tessa_

The taxi car had the radio on loud - some stupid country love song that was so ridiculously at odds with how I felt that my nerves were jangling.

The rain was a roar - loud enough that I barely heard my phone ringing frantically in my bag pocket. I pulled it out automatically to see Will's name as caller ID.

I watched the phone ring until it stopped.

The phone rang again a moment later, more insistently. But the battery was so low by now that it cut off sharply halfway through the tone, and no amount of jabbing the button would turn it on again.

I stared at my reflection in the dark screen surface - my wet and dripping hair, red-rimmed eyes - and the ugly bruise forming on my cheek.

From where my brother had punched me.

I bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood. I was holding my mouth shut from spilling out… what, I didn't know. A sob, or a scream.

This couldn't be happening.

But maybe, somehow, I'd been expecting it. I knew Nate had been lying to me, knew he'd been getting home later and later, knew he'd been drinking.

I'd been pretending not to see that side of him for years. Maybe we both knew we couldn't keep whatever we had forever. Maybe, it was time I moved on.

And though it hurt far, far more than the bruise on my face, inside I had known it was coming.

But the thing I hadn't seen coming was Will. I should have.

I realised I'd tightened the grip on my phone, leaving a red imprint on my palm. There were so many people I had to call, to talk to. I would have to tell my friends I was okay, at least, and I'd have to call my school too, tell them I wasn't coming back.

I knew what I was doing was a terrible idea, rash and stupid and idiotic - but the logical part of my brain was drowned out by everything else.

I _had_ to get away, if only just to figure this out. To figure everything out.

The taxi finally reached the airport, and I payed the driver with barely a word. The place was huge as I dashed through the doors - bright and busy and intimidating as always.

 _What the hell are you doing, Tessa?_

I took a deep breath, fighting back tears and thoughts and anything that would slow me down. I remembered how to navigate this place from when I'd last been here, and I went through the systems and the customs without trouble.

It was good to have something to focus on, to occupy my mind. But when I was finally done, I was left standing near the waiting bay, the shove of people moving all around me making me dizzy and sick.

I found a coffee place and ordered my drink strong, then I nearly burnt my tongue gulping it down.

 _Will, Will -_

Then I was walking through the place, desperately trying to find something to do, somewhere to be, so I didn't have to endure the hour of _waiting_ still left before I could get on that damn plane.

Finally, I gave up and fought my way back to the waiting bay. It wasn't super crowded yet, but there were enough people there to make me conscious of the fact that I probably looked like hell.

I sat down next to an old couple talking in another language - just like when I'd been in the waiting bay in New York. They didn't sound like they were _arguing,_ exactly, but their voices were loud enough that the d _éjà vu_ kicked in.

I looked at the row of seats across from me, and there were two empty seats side by side. Like where Will and I had sat, on the other side of the world. I could picture him, sitting there, his legs crossed lazily, back pressing into the soft chair, the smirk on his face and the rumples in his hair and the stupid blue of his eyes.

And then I burst into tears, right in the middle of the waiting bay.

Everyone looked over at me, some concerned, some annoyed. The foreign lady next to me clucked sadly and said something in her language. It wasn't French, I thought. Spanish, maybe.

"Here," she said in rough English, handing me a lacy handkerchief.

I only cried harder, not even able to muster up a sense of embarrassment as I weakly took the handkerchief and pressed it to my face.

"You poor girl." she told me sadly, while the other people around me gave me pitying glances. "Your heart is broken?"

"What?" I said, my voice thick and watery.

"You have boyfriend, no?" She shook her head grimly. "Girls your age - always crying about boyfriend."

A lady across from me tutted - giving me a half disapproving, half sympathetic look.

"He's - not my boyfriend anymore." I said, wiping furiously at my tears until they smudged away.

"You too young, too young!" the old lady chorused, touching my cheek with a leathery hand. "He very handsome, he was?"

That made more tears spill out. "Very." I whispered, the words edging round the lump in my throat.

"I know the type." the lady across from me said. "They have the kind of smile that's just _begging_ for trouble, don't they, dear? Oh, and their eyes - "

"What colour?" asked the old lady's husband with interest.

"Blue." I said unevenly.

They all looked understanding. "Ah, of course."

"Never trust a man with blue eyes," another lady said from a few seats away. She shook her head. "I learnt it the hard way."

In my mind's eye, Will stood up from the empty seat opposite me, holding out his hand. He was smiling, the real kind of smile he saved for when it was just the two of us.

And I was sobbing again. The old lady said something in Spanish, patting my back gently. The lady across from me offered me a chocolate bar.

They wouldn't relax until I'd firmly wiped my eyes again, and taken a bite out of the chocolate. I winced at the taste - I _still_ didn't like chocolate - but the people around me all seemed appeased.

"Life gets better." said the lady from a few seats away. "You'll move on. Don't give that horrible boy the satisfaction."

"He's a smarmy git." A bushy man added with a strong English accent.

"Sí, sí." said the old lady.

I'd managed to recover myself just as an announcement rang out. _Flight 504 has been unfortunately delayed due to bad weather…_

"Oh, for goodness sakes." I muttered. Would I ever get out of here?

 _…The flight will now be leaving at two am. Apologies for any inconveniences the delay may have caused…_

I stood up, trying to look like I wasn't going to break down in tears again. "I'm just going to… get some air." I said to the old lady. "I need to be alone for a bit. Thank you, though."

She gave me a pitying smile. "Poor, poor girl. You so pretty, too. You can tell us everything, we be here when you get back."

"Okay." I picked up my backpack and stuffed the handkerchief into my pocket. "Thanks."

"You'll get through it." The lady across from me assured me as I hurried out of the bay.

 _Will I?_ I thought. I'd never felt so lost before.

* * *

 _Will_

We'd been driving round for over three hours.

We'd checked all our houses individually, all the hotels and motels and places someone would stay. We checked the school, even, and some of the students' houses. We even drove past the library.

"As _if_ Tessa would be there." Jessamine scoffed.

"It's open late." I had to remind myself not to snap at her. "And the library's practically Tessa's second home."

"She doesn't have a home now." Sophie said sharply, and we all fell back into the horrible silence we'd been in since I'd punched Nate.

Even thinking about him sent a surge of anger through my blood. Anger, and hopelessness. Tessa could be anywhere now. Anything could have happened.

I shut my eyes and waited for my breathing to even out. No ideas came to mind, no plan or possible location. Only Tessa's name, endlessly repeating like a chant.

 _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa -_

I'd called her seven times before Sophie had told me to lay off. "She wouldn't want to talk to you." she said reasonably. "I'll try calling her."

But Tessa didn't answer Sophie, either, or Jem, or Cecily or Jessamine.

"Maybe… her phone is flat." Jem said. I could see him biting his lip, his hands white on the steering wheel.

We all nodded like we were pretending to believe it.

 _Where are you where are you where are you -_

I remembered, suddenly, the backpack Tessa had been wearing when she'd seen me at the party. She'd come so she could stay with us, probably hoping Nate would take her back after a few days. She'd come because she thought she could trust me.

I gritted my teeth, trying to remember, trying to _think._ Tessa couldn't go home. And when she'd run off on me, she'd known she couldn't stay at any of our places.

I knew what must have been going through her head. She'd told me once that London didn't feel like home to her. And if there was no one for her at all, she'd want to go to the only real home she knew.

The answer hit me suddenly, my breath catching in my throat. _Oh, no._

"The airport." I said suddenly, harshly.

" _What?"_ Cecily yelled.

Jem looked over at me, his eyes flashing in the streetlights' reflection. "You think she - "

"She wouldn't." Sophie said firmly.

"Jessamine, look up the flights leaving tonight." Cecily ordered.

Jessamine sighed, but even she looked worried as she tapped something on her phone.

"There's - there was a flight leaving for New York before midnight." she said.

Something inside me twisted violently - _too late, too late -_

"Oh, wait, it got delayed." Jessamine said hurriedly. "Probably from all the rain. It'll be ready to leave at two am now."

Cecily swore harshly. I looked at the time on the car radio - 1:30 am.

"We won't make it." Jessamine said. "The airport's a long way away."

I looked over at Jem to find him already looking at me. "Drive, now."

His foot slammed down on the the pedal.

* * *

 _Tessa_

1:37 am.

The first boarding call announcement rang out robotically through the white-washed halls. I'd been walking round the stupid airport for nearly two hours, never stopping and trying my best not to think about anything.

I stopped when I heard the announcement. I should go back to the waiting bay - and get on the plane.

But the realness of what I was doing finally sunk in, and I hesitated. This city had been my home for a while now, I'd had actual real friends and a place in the world. Hell, even the rain hadn't been that bad.

I would miss it.

 _No time,_ I told myself firmly. _Not now, not now._

I hurried back in the direction I'd come, trying to tell myself I was doing the right thing. It would be fine. I would be home in hours, I would find away to make a living. _It would be okay._

But I wasn't sure if I believed it.

I stopped and started so many times that the second announcement had rung out by the time I reached the bay. The old Spanish lady was just about to hand over her ticket, and she gave me a frank assessing glance which immediately turned to pity.

Which just made me feel worse.

"How you feel?" she asked, pausing by the gate.

"Fine." I said, which everyone left in the room knew was a lie.

I was sick of lying. I thought maybe getting away meant that I could finally tell the truth.

The truth was…. the truth was that I couldn't hate Nate, he was my own brother. And I couldn't hate London either. If I was honest, I loved the city.

And the truth about Will was - I was so, so in love with him. Still. After everything. And it hurt so much that I couldn't even try to explain myself to the old lady.

The truth was… I didn't want to leave.

 _Yes, you do._ I told myself firmly. _And you will. It's better this way._

I pulled out my ticket, and was just about to go board the plane when -

When a voice called my name.

A voice that was like a splinter in my chest.

Will.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi people, guess what? Second last chapter! Here's where the show goes down! And I apologise for it being so cheesy - but then again, that's what we read fanfiction for, am I right? ;)**

 **Shout out to Clacelover246 who has reviewed like every single chapter of this crappy story, you are totally awesome! So awesome that yes, you may keep Will Herondale. Take care of my baby!**

 **Buriedbehindbooks - don't worry, things will be okay! Thanks so much!**

 **Guest - unfortunately not an April Fools day joke, though we do need more those in our lives! Thank you, that means a lot!**

 **Okay, you guys ready for a Wessa explosion? Let's blow this thing up!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _17: The Final Truth_

 _Will_

I'd never seen Jem drive so fast - and so recklessly.

He barely ever lost his cool, but I could see it now. I could see it in everyone in the car. And I could feel it like a pulse inside me, ready to break over any moment.

 _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa -_

No matter how fast we were driving, it didn't feel fast enough.

"What - what will I say to her?" I got out finally.

Jessamine snorted. "Can you repeat that so I can record you?"

"You _always_ know what to say, you girl-talker." Sophie said, in a tone that didn't really sound like a compliment.

"Ha ha." I said flatly.

"You should apologise." Cecily told me.

"I have!" I said, and then I sighed and put my face in my hands. "She probably hates me."

Everyone else in the car laughed.

"What?" I muttered into my fingers.

"She doesn't hate you." Jem said in a patient voice normally reserved for three-year-olds. "Trust us."

"Well, she has every reason to." I said.

Cecily leaned forwards and patted me on the back, sniggering. "I never thought I'd see the day, Will. Did you leave your ego inflation pump at home?"

"I hate you all." I said.

"Look." Jessamine said. "All most girls really want is honestly. Find Tessa, apologise heaps, say whatever comes to your mind, and then tell her you love her. And then quickly kiss her before she can work up any resistance."

We all turned to stare at Jessamine. "What?" she rolled her eyes. "I read gossip magazines, okay? The outfits are stylish."

"And ridiculously over the top." Sophie said.

I ran my hands through my hair, gritting my teeth. "Not the time for fashion debates!"

"Aw, you're actually freaking out." Jessamine said. "How sweet."

"Will," Jem said gently, "it'll be fine. Just say what feels right. Tessa will get it."

I nodded, and then looked round at them all. "You guys really didn't have to - "

"Don't be an idiot." Cecily said. "Well, any more than usual, I mean. We're family, Will, and we have to stick together. And Tessa's family too."

"She's the adopted daughter." Sophie said.

"Going through her rebellious teenage runaway faze." Cecily added.

"You are the worst friends ever." I said, running my hands through my hair again. The airport was finally in sight - this was it.

"You don't mean that." Jem said confidently.

I sighed. "You know I don't. The opposite, actually."

"Hey, don't get mushy with us." Jessamine said. "Save the sap for Tessa."

The airport lights were an artificial wash in the dark and the rain. It was packed as usual, no empty carparks in sight.

"You'll have to just jump out, Will." Jem said, joining the line of cars.

"Okay." My heart was beating much faster than usual, and my hand was white on the car door.

"And hey," Cecily said, "all that stuff about you not deserving Tessa? Will, you deserve everything."

I looked round to see her smiling sadly at me, and it was perhaps the nicest thing I'd ever heard her say.

I was going to say something clever, but the words dried up in the sudden lump in my throat. "T- thanks."

"It's true." Sophie added. "She's not just being nice."

Jem reached over and punched me on the arm. I rolled my eyes at his grin.

"It's 1:50 now, you'll have to hurry." Cecily said. "Go get'em."

"Don't forget to grovel to Tessa." Jessamine added.

"You can do this." Jem told me. "We'll circle round for a while, see if we can find a park. Call us when you're coming out, okay?"

Sophie smiled at me in the mirror as my hand tightened on the door latch. "You love her, right?"

There was only one _her_ that mattered right now. I met Sophie's eyes in the mirror, and I was done with pretending. "Right." I said.

And then I opened the door and leapt out of the car.

I heard my friends cheering as I dashed towards the airport entrance, the rain instantly drenching me again. It wasn't as heavy as before - which was why the planes had been delayed until now.

I decided to take the rain as a good omen.

My watched glared at me even in the rain. _1:51._

I burst through the doors, and realised instantly that I didn't have a plan. There were people everywhere, holding suitcases, tickets, whining toddlers. There was no sign of Tessa.

Luckily an announcement rang out then - a boarding call. I recognised the flight number from what Jessamine had found on her phone, and the announcement gave the gate number too.

I still had no plan, but now I had a destination at least.

 _1:52._

I dashed past all the ticket and baggage machines, getting strange looks from all the people nearby. I had to skid to a stop to go through the scanning monitors, even though my brain was screaming _run, run, keep running._

Customs was harder to get through. I dashed past a security guard who yelled after me, but I was fast and easy to lose in the crowd. At least, I hoped.

I didn't know where I was going, but I took staff entrances and ducked through queues and ran and ran and ran. I slowed whenever a security guy looked my way. My heart was pounding.

 _1:57._

And then I was suddenly in a massive hallway, and a worried guard grabbed my arm. "What's wrong, sir?" he asked.

"Late - for my flight - " I gasped out.

"Oh." he nodded. "What number?"

He gave me directions and then I was running again, skidding past surprised people who stopped in their tracks.

 _1:58._

Another boarding call rang out, making me run faster.

 _Tessa, Tessa, Tessa -_

I had to make it. There was a big chance she was already on the plane, but I wouldn't let myself think about that. The gate sign was in sight -

What was I going to say? _I'm sorry, don't leave, please don't leave, I love you -_

 _1:59._

I'd nearly reached the gate, I could see a few people walking in, dragging luggage behind them. I could hear voices and suitcase wheels squeaking. _So close, please let me be in time -_

And then I was there, stumbling to a halt, my breath rattling in my chest. My heartbeat was so loud, I could barely hear.

I was already scanning the bay, the last people lining up in the queue, looking _, looking -_

 _2:00._

And there she was.

Clutching her ticket tight in one hand, her hair damp and wild and tear tracks on her cheeks. But somehow still so beautiful that it knocked the last of my breath right out of me.

"Tessa!" I tried to yell, but my voice cracked on the last part of her name.

* * *

 _Tessa_

I spun round, dimly hearing the old lady curse in Spanish behind me. A few other people tittered, and the ticket scanner was saying something about _keep the line moving, please,_ but nothing mattered right then except Will.

He'd come crashing in, his clothes soaked from the rain, his hair on end from where he'd been running his hands through it. He was struggling for breath, but his eyes were locked on mine.

It hurt so much.

I couldn't look away.

"Tessa." he said again, quieter.

"Don't go near the poor girl!" the old lady's husband said from the queue. "She's been through quite enough!"

One of the people in the queue put a hand on my arm - the lady who'd offered me the chocolate bar. "We'll protect you, dear." she said.

"It's - it's okay." I forced out. My eyes were still locked on Will's. I stepped out of the lady's reach, out of the queue. But I didn't move any closer as I folded my arms. "What do you want?"

Hurt flashed across his eyes. "Tessa - I know what happened. We were all looking for you, and your brother - "

I flinched. " _Don't."_

Will broke off, still struggling to get his breath back.

Someone behind me muttered, "His eyes really are quite blue, aren't they?"

Someone else shushed them.

"You shouldn't have come." I told Will, fighting for my voice to stay even. "I'm - I'm leaving."

Which was obvious, since we were standing in the airport. Like we had back in New York.

I hated airports.

"Tessa," he said again, and my name in his voice made something twist painfully inside me. "You don't have to."

"Yes, I do!" I snapped.

He took a tentative step closer. I held my ground.

"Hey, excuse me, can you two move along please - " The ticket scanner began, before somebody shushed him.

Will's eyes were pleading with me. "Maybe this is selfish," he said softly, "but I can't let you go. And not just for me either, Tess. Your brother can't chase you out of the country, don't give him the satisfaction - "

"Don't tell me what to do!" My voice rose to a yell. There were people muttering now, worried tones and shifting glances. I didn't care.

"Don't let your _brother_ tell you what to do!" Will yelled back. "Tessa, you deserved far, _far_ better than him. But I know you don't have family back in New York, you'll have to start over and I know you can't - "

"Oh, because I'm poor and pathetic?" I hissed. "Don't pretend to feel guilty, Will."

"Tess, please listen to me." He stepped closer. "Please, I'm _begging_ you."

I stepped back.

"You don't have to go." Will said again, fervently, and he ran his hands through his hair in agitation just like always. "I know you, and I know you don't hate London."

"Oh, yeah? And _how do you know that?"_

He stepped closer again, and this time I didn't step back. "I know, because I've seen you stand out in the pouring rain with me when everyone is dashing for cover. And I know you've read every book set in the city, and you can recite entire passages about London from _A Tale of Two Cities._ And I've been with you when you've walked down the streets, and I've seen you tip back your head to the sky and breath it in, and I've seen you smiling in the coffee shops and bookstores and the library, and hell, even _school,_ and I know that you feel like you belong here - and you _don't have to go."_

I stared at him. The entire boarding queue stared at him. Even the ticket scanner had given up ordering people to move and was staring at him.

I was so, so close to crying again, but I couldn't let him see that.

"And you're not alone here." Will said, his voice softening again. "Sophie, Cecily, Jem, even Jessamine think you're family. Your bother might be a complete waste of space - but you've got us instead. And Sophie and Cecily, they were thinking of sharing an apartment next year, do you know how ecstatic they'd be if you stayed with them? You can finish school, Tessa, and there will be work, and we can help you, and we can figure it out."

My arms were folded into a tight band across my chest. I glared at him. "Oh, yeah? Sophie and Cecily might not care if I go grovelling to them, but what about you? Because I seriously doubt you think I'm _family."_

Will must have stepped forward again, and he was close enough that I could reach out and touch him. My heart was beating uncomfortably fast, if he didn't step away I didn't think I'd be able to stay upright for very much longer.

"Tessa," Will said, and now his voice was low and desperate, "Tatiana pounced on me before I could do anything. I was trying to get away when you saw me, and I'm so so sorry. The only thing I could think about was you when she was kissing me."

My breath hitched painfully in my throat. Even now, even when I was trying so hard not to give myself away, I could feel my cheeks burning. "Will - "

"I know I've screwed up," he said, eyes never leaving my face, "hell, I've screwed too often to count. But that's what humans do, right? We're born, we screw up, we die, an endless cycle that's gone on for thousands of years and it'll keep going for thousands more until we're wiped out by angels know what. And I know that I'm the Sydney Carton of this story, barely a speck in the scale of the universe, and I know that whatever I say won't make you change your mind, but _I love you."_

The entire room gasped. I think I heard the old lady swear in Spanish. I was rooted to the spot, his words spinning round my head, _I love you, love you, love you -_

The final boarding announcement rang out, even though the plane had been supposed to be leaving about two minutes ago. And still no one moved.

Will was so close now, so horribly close, so close that I could lean forward and kiss him. "Please, believe me." he said, so quietly no one else but me could hear. "I'm hopelessly in love with you, and even if I wanted to change it, I couldn't. And maybe I'm a selfish coward, maybe I'm just like Sydney Carton but without the heroics - but I don't think I could bear it if you left. And I know you don't want to, Tess, _I know."_

Was I breathing? I didn't know. I certainly wasn't thinking, my thoughts were going wild and the heat radiating from Will's body certainly wasn't helping that.

He raised his hand, his eyes heavy-lidded as his fingers brushed my cheek. "I just - I just wanted you to know." he said.

And then, his hand dropped and he turned away.

I saw in the set of his shoulders that he'd already realised I wouldn't change my mind. I knew he'd walk out of the waiting bay and I'd never see him again.

And I knew I had to do something.

I caught Will's arm, forcing him to stop, and I felt him tense under my grip. "Did you know," I said unsteadily, swinging him back round to face me, "that Sydney Carton is my favourite character?"

Will stared at me. "I - "

Then I leaned forward and kissed him before he could finish.

Will went rigid - but only for a moment. And then he had his arms around me and his mouth was hot on mine and he was kissing me hard enough that my toes curled in my still-damp shoes.

People were cheering in the background, applause ringing through my ears. Not that I took it in.

I put my arms around Will's neck, my plane ticket still crumpled in one hand. I let it fall to the floor.

"I love you," he whispered into my mouth, breaking away and pulling back, away and back, murmuring, "I love you, I love you, God, Tessa, I love you."

I wanted to tell him that I was sorry, and that I loved him so much it hurt, but I also wanted to keep kissing him until my plane finally lifted off without me.

But I broke away and leaned my forehead against his, and the words came out all in a rush, and he was whispering, "I know, I know, it's okay."

And now I could hear the cheering, and the old lady mutter, "She too young. Such a shame."

Will's eyes were all I could see.

"Hey, excuse me, what's going on here?" came a voice. A security guard had come up, and was glaring at the ticket scanner. "You're supposed to be letting people on the plane!"

Then he turned to me and Will. "And what the hell are you two doing?"

"Nothing, sir." I said. "I was just - "

"You leave them alone, they're in love!" The old lady said firmly to the guard.

"Don't you have a heart?" The chocolate-bar lady added loudly.

The security guard looked taken aback. He narrowed his eyes at Will. "Sir, would you kindly leave the lady alone - "

But Will laced his fingers in mine, giving me a grin big enough to kill me. "I can't. I'm in love with her."

The ticket scanner cheered, and then immediately stopped when he saw the security guard glaring daggers at him.

"We were just leaving, sir." I said to the guard.

"You're - not getting on the plane? Then what the hell are you doing here?" he barked.

"That's a good question." Will said. He looked over at me. "Do you want to go someplace better?"

I nodded, stepping over my plane ticket which was still lying on the ground.

Will made a face at it before following me. "We'll get you a refund."

"Get out of here!" the security guard yelled, obviously reaching the end of his patience.

"Goodbye, _hermosa!_ " the old lady smiled at me.

"Thanks so much for the handkerchief - " I began, reaching into my pocket.

"Keep it, keep it!" She waved a hand at me.

"Thank you!" I waved to all the people that had sat with me before. The chocolate-bar lady looked like she was going to start crying.

"Out, out!" the security guard shooed us. Will and I were only too happy to obey.

We kept our hands linked as we ran back through the airport - we could have walked, but both of us were desperate to get back out.

People stared at us as we dashed past, but I was beyond caring.

And then finally, _finally,_ we were outside. The rain had cleared up into the barest of drizzles, and I could see the moon through the thinning wisps of cloud.

Will pulled out his phone to call Cecily, and he kept his hand in mine as he told her where we were. Only a few moments later, Jem's car materialised out of nowhere. The windows were down and I could see Sophie and Cecily waving at me frantically.

The car slowed enough that Will and I could clamber in, and then we were off.

I was squished in the backseat, jammed against the car door, but I couldn't have cared less. Sophie and Cecily and Jessamine were all leaning over to hug me and yelling stuff in my ears, and Cecily nudged Will in the ribs with her foot and Sophie was saying something about making tea back at Will's place, which sounded heavenly.

Cecily nearly crushed my windpipe hugging me, and Jem was grinning at me in the rear-view mirror, and Will put his hand round the passenger seat and held on to mine.

"Take us home, Jem." Cecily ordered.

 _Home._

* * *

 **Aaaaayyy I told you guys it was soppy aha! Thanks so much for reading, and stay tuned for the last kinda-epilogue-type-thing chapter!**

 **I love you all, you crazy fangirls!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey, last chapter! This is basically nothing but tying up loose ends and more fluff, so if you can't be bothered then it's not that important to the plot so don't worry. Super enjoyed writing this story, and thanks so much for reading!**

 **\- s.i**

* * *

 _18: The End_

 _Will_

We'd barely got away from the airport before Jessamine leaned forward over me and flicked the radio on. She switched the channel away from Jem's classical music stations to some slightly lame pop channel - that had music I was ashamed to say I knew.

Cecily was recounting to Tessa in a loud voice about how long it had taken to find her, and Tessa's hand was still tight in mine.

I got Sophie to admit that Gideon had asked her out, and then we all teased Sophie until she - _queen_ of sensible - turned red. Tessa wanted to know every detail of the conversation they'd had, much to Sophie's humiliation.

Luckily for Sophie, she could distract us by turning all the attention to Cecily and Gabriel instead. But Cecily just laughed.

"Hey," I said to her quietly, "I'm sorry for being a first-class prat. I'm - I'm really glad you're happy."

She rolled her eyes, grinning and nudging me in the ribs. "You don't have to apologise, dummy. Though you are a first-class prat. And trust me, Gabriel's not that bad."

"Huh." I said. "Well, if he so much as looks at you wrong, you know I'll be happy to defend your honour."

"More than happy, I imagine." Tessa said drily, and I grinned in defeat.

And soon we were all talking over each other and laughing and singing along to the sappy songs on the radio. Jem rolled the windows down, and our voices were whipped away in the breeze. And even though it was well into the morning none of us were the least bit tired.

When we got home, my mother was waiting for us, looking worn out but relieved. "Upstairs, quickly!" she ordered. "Out of the cold! There's hot chocolate on the stove, and blankets on the table - oh, Tessa, dear, are you okay?"

Tessa nodded, smiling. "I am now. Is it alright if I stay over tonight?"

"But of course!" My mother hugged her. "You're allowed to stay as long as you want, dear. And no one's allowed to leave tonight, it's too late. You hear that, Sophie, Jem, Jessamine?"

Upstairs, Cecily dug out jumpers and we passed around blankets and steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Tessa had tea - apparently she still didn't like chocolate even in liquid form. Poor, poor girl.

She sat next to me so her shoulder was bumping into mine, and she was wearing one of my jumpers, and when she smiled at me I almost dropped my hot chocolate.

Then I slid my arm around her, and she leant into me like it was the easiest thing in the world.

After a while we all moved to the living room and piled ourselves up with cushions and blankets and we talked for ages even in the darkness.

Jem passed out on the couch, and Jessamine stole everyone's pillows and fell asleep on top of them all. Sophie and Cecily covered themselves with blankets and made suggestive faces between Tessa and me before they fell asleep.

And finally, it was just Tessa and me. After all, we were used to staying awake well into the night. Except this time, I didn't need to call her, or wait with her in an airport. This time, we were both lying opposite each other, talking softly until the words dried up in our mouths.

And then, when we were too tired to talk, Tessa moved over next to me and I put an arm around her and she buried her face in my shoulder.

"We should sleep." she murmured.

"Okay." I shifted so my cheek was in her hair. "Goodnight, Tessa Gray."

And I slept better than I had in months.

* * *

 _3 Years Later_

 _Tessa_

New York City.

We'd all been talking about this trip for ages, a summer break for all of us - and now we were finally here and stepping out of the airport into the sunshine.

Sophie was immediately snapping pictures; the airport behind us, Jessamine posing with her sunnies on (she'd bought them for fashion purposes more than anything else), Jem and Cecily doing peace signs, Will and I swinging our hands high in the air like preschoolers.

We hailed an airport cab big enough to squeeze in all of us plus our avalanche of luggage. Driving through the city was like suddenly remembering a dream from last night, distantly familiar.

The last three years had been… amazing. Hard, at first, but getting better every day.

We'd all finished our final school year, and Sophie and Cecily indeed bought a tiny apartment with me. It was small but perfect, and we'd stayed up many late nights doing movie marathons and even just talking.

Jessamine refused to share an apartment, but somehow she was over at our place all the time anyway, dragging us out shopping and insulting our wardrobes. Which none of us minded.

And Nate - I'd hoped, for longer than I'd like to admit, for him to call me. Or write to me, or something. But as the weeks flipped by and I didn't hear from him, I lost hope. It was hard, and I still missed him sometimes. But it was better now.

He'd called me only a few weeks ago, after three years. I'd missed the call, but listened to his message. _Tessa, I'm so sorry for everything I did to you, can we start over…_

I hadn't called back. Maybe I would, someday, maybe when I got back to London. But I knew that I didn't need to, and my friends would be behind me no matter what decision I made.

And as for Will, like me he was healing every day. Things were better, easier, brighter. And we'd stayed together the whole way.

I wasn't just reading about the perfect life in novels now, I was living it.

Once we'd all checked into a hotel and dumped our suitcases, we all met up on the street again, breathing in the sun and the traffic.

"Where do we go now?" Cecily asked.

I looked over at Will, he was already smiling back at me.

"Everywhere." I said.

* * *

 **aaaaaand... that's a wrap! Thanks so much for reading, and please leave a review and let me know what you thought of the story! Constructive feedback appreciated as always, but of course if you want to tell me I'm awesome how can I say no? (kidding, kidding!)**

 **Signing out, but will be back soon with a new story I'm working on (can't say too much...)!**

 **-s.i**


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